I mentioned the hair colour because it has had a bad effect on his life. But not sure it is causing the depression. He went for counselling once or twice and said it was a waste of time. Daughter in law is amazing and I don't know how she copes when he is really bad. He calls it the black dog and doesn't seem to be able to just shake it off. It can go on for weeks. When he is ill with it he is a different person. He walked the Pennine Way at the beginning of May and everyone was very proud and he got lots of praise but his mood went down and down. I don't think he has done any work since the walk finished. Just have to wait til he gets over this depression again. Possibly not helped by maybe mid life crisis. He is 47 this year.xxx
I'm another redhead and back in the days when I went to primary school I was called names and taunted by teachers and in the playground for being a redhead. One teacher in particular had three pet hates - redheads, left handed people and anyone who bit their nails. Well I qualified for the first two and probably became so nervous that I started to bite my nails too! Although I am now 76 I can still remember how it felt then. After I grew up I used to see her occasionally around the town and she was all sweetness and light until one day I told her how frightening and intimidating she had been to me when I was five or six
I am sorry Casbow that your son is so badly affected by being redhead - once I grew up I didn't mind apart from being easily sunburnt.
Going back to "sending or not sending cards" - our son and daughter are both far from home having moved to find jobs so we rarely see them. If either of them visit it is not for a specific occasion like birthdays so they send birthday card/Christmas card but only daughter sends Fathers Day/Mothers Day cards as son considers FD/MD over commercialised nonsense.
Now that OH is in care home I intend to buy a FD card to give him "from son". That way I feel I can pretend in order for me to save face - you know what I mean, the staff will assume that it is from him and OH (sadly) will not remember so it will not hurt him.
I'm not sure, Casbow, if you would find it helpful to do that. Of course, if your Daughter in law then sent card that would complicate things (our son is not married)
Lilac xx
I'm another redhead and back in the days when I went to primary school I was called names and taunted by teachers and in the playground for being a redhead. One teacher in particular had three pet hates - redheads, left handed people and anyone who bit their nails. Well I qualified for the first two and probably became so nervous that I started to bite my nails too! Although I am now 76 I can still remember how it felt then. After I grew up I used to see her occasionally around the town and she was all sweetness and light until one day I told her how frightening and intimidating she had been to me when I was five or six
I am sorry Casbow that your son is so badly affected by being redhead - once I grew up I didn't mind apart from being easily sunburnt.
Going back to "sending or not sending cards" - our son and daughter are both far from home having moved to find jobs so we rarely see them. If either of them visit it is not for a specific occasion like birthdays so they send birthday card/Christmas card but only daughter sends Fathers Day/Mothers Day cards as son considers FD/MD over commercialised nonsense.
Now that OH is in care home I intend to buy a FD card to give him "from son". That way I feel I can pretend in order for me to save face - you know what I mean, the staff will assume that it is from him and OH (sadly) will not remember so it will not hurt him.
I'm not sure, Casbow, if you would find it helpful to do that. Of course, if your Daughter in law then sent card that would complicate things (our son is not married)
Lilac xx
I love him no matter what.xxx