1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. Casbow

    Casbow Registered User

    Sep 3, 2013
    980
    Colchester
    My husband seems to get worse everyday now. I feel so sorry for him. He cannot do anything and therefore I don't know what to do to get through each day. He tries to say things but it makes no sense.I have had day care arranged just once a week but he wouldn't even take his coat off and wouldn't eat. Just wanted to come home. One day care place said he would need one to one for them to be able to have him there. We go to singing for the brain once a fortnight which is o.k. At the moment I still help to run a bowls club but I don't enjoy bowling anymore as he keeps getting cross and walking out.I feel lonely and that there is no point to living anymore. The thing that keeps me going is our precious dog.
     
  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,719
    Kent
    Hello Casbow

    Being a primary carer is most isolating and I really don`t know what can be done to make it easier. I believe I was virtually housebound for years even with a good care package of 21 hours weekly.

    I got this through Direct payments because my husband refused day care. I had an agency carer in to be with my husband on the pretext it was to help me. This enabled me to go out by myself while my husband was kept safe.

    It did mean I had to go out when i would have liked some `me time` at home but it was the only way out.

    Have you considered applying for Direct Payments.

    http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/services_info.php?serviceID=44
     
  3. Lindy50

    Lindy50 Registered User

    Dec 11, 2013
    5,287
    Cotswolds
    Hello Casbow and welcome to TP :)

    It sounds as though you've done a brilliant job of caring, but that you now need much more support. It would be very difficult, I think, for anyone to carry on as you are.

    Has your husband had a needs assessment from social services? Or you a carers assessment? These are your basic routes into getting more support, in addition of course to seeing your GP if it seems appropriate. In some areas, a referral to social services from a GP may carry more weight than if you phone them yourself.....this is wrong, I know, but if needs be.....

    Do please try to get more help, it really sounds as though you need it. I understand that your husband didn't take to day care. But that's all the more reason to get someone batting on your side to sort something out.

    Good luck :) And hope we see you posting here again.

    Lindy xx
     
  4. Casbow

    Casbow Registered User

    Sep 3, 2013
    980
    Colchester
    I am trying to reply but do not know how this works.If you get this message I must first say thankyou for your comments. I have been through all of the steps you mentioned. The latest thing to happen is I am going to get an appointment with the mental health people that originally diognosed him. I had a phone call this morning from an Alzeimers lady and she is trying another route to try to get him taken out for trips with a person trained in dementia. The Day care will only take him back on a one to one basis. Which is expensive. If you get this message thankyou.
     
  5. pamann

    pamann Registered User

    Oct 28, 2013
    2,635
    Kent
    Hello casbow l play bowls for our village club, my hubby can no longer play as he doesn't understand the game anymore, he was a brilliant bowler, l take him with me to watch, but he does get very bored after an hour, wants to go home such a nightmare, l enjoy the company, and enjoy the bowling so much, but l think l will have to give it up, too stressful knowing that hubby is becoming such a problem. Most matches are weekends, so can not get any one to look after him. Thinking of you
     
  6. Casbow

    Casbow Registered User

    Sep 3, 2013
    980
    Colchester
    I thankyou for your comments. I'm not sure what Direct payments are. I get some financial help from two sources but it is to be used for daycare or someone to sit in our house with him. Neither have worked so far. A lovely person from Alziemers kis trying to sort out something else like getting him taken out. Fingers crossed they will find something. Thankyou.
     
  7. Casbow

    Casbow Registered User

    Sep 3, 2013
    980
    Colchester
    My husband was diognosed 6 years ago and at first it was ok at bowls club. As time has gone by it has just got worse and worse. He used to make and keep in good repair, lots of equipment. Now he doesn't know how to lay out the mats or equipmment and gets cross with himself and other people.We used to play in the league and loved it but that isn't possible now. I am the clubs treasurer so I am hanging on in there for the sake of the club. Its almost impossible to off load being treasurer. I too feel that we are spoiling a bowls session with his disruption. He often walks out so has to be encouraged to come back in. I no longer enjoy going to bowls except for the company and just to get out.Thankyou.
     
  8. pamann

    pamann Registered User

    Oct 28, 2013
    2,635
    Kent
    My hubby can not play anymore he thinks he can but it is not fair to others bowlers, l do let him have a roll up twice a week as our local club is only down the road, it is sad as l still enjoy playing, as you say it is company for us, hope l can continue.
     

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