Hi, my first time posting on here, and really just trying to sort out what we should do at the moment. My Gran was diagnosed with Alzheimers a number of years back, and before anything progressed she sensibly put in place a POA with my dad (her son) and myself named on it for both financial and health matters.
We live in North Wales and my Gran in Oxfordshire so there is a fair distance and popping down to check if things are okay is obviously difficult (my dad tires with long car journeys and I have a car-hating toddler which makes it more difficult too). We bring her up to stay for a week in the Summer and had her here for a week at Christmas too, plus visits when possible between. So a lot of our understanding of how she is we have to based on twice weekly phone calls.
When here over Christmas it was clear that she had deteriorated a lot since her Summer visit. The repetition was constant and it was obvious she could no longer cope with the basics. When we took her home a quick look in the fridge showed food out of date from months before (this was after she said she had cleaned out the fridge and only kept the good stuff). I'm pretty sure food wise she now lives on things that can be cooked in the micro - porridge, ready meals etc - and sandwiches.
We sat down and discussed with her having a carer come in each day and she point blank refused, saying she would decide when and she wouldn't let them in. Over the next week I phoned her pretty much most nights until she agreed to a lady she has known for a few years coming in twice a week for a start (so not an official carer, but better than no one).
Today she couldn't get out of the bath and thankfully it was a day the lady comes in, but she was stuck there for three hours. Then she couldn't remember how to phone any of us (numbers all saved in the phone) or find her address book.
Obviously as well as the memory issues she is struggling physically and we are worried about what to do next. Her GP is calling me on Monday and I am thinking we will need to start the ball rolling for a carer to come in daily - but what if she still refuses? How do we progress this? Before the Alzheimers she was stubborn, but her refusal to listen is making it very hard to make sure she has proper care. Although she does have friends near it isn't fair for us to keep relying on them to keep us updated.
Moving her in with us (or my parents) isn't an option, plus she would be unwilling to move from her locality. We want her to be able to maintain her independence for as long as possible as we know how much she wants to avoid any form of care home - although we do know somewhere not too far down the line this will have to be considered.
So if we arrange a carer can she then refuse access? How can we deal with this? I feel we are flapping around at the moment just not sure what to do next!
We live in North Wales and my Gran in Oxfordshire so there is a fair distance and popping down to check if things are okay is obviously difficult (my dad tires with long car journeys and I have a car-hating toddler which makes it more difficult too). We bring her up to stay for a week in the Summer and had her here for a week at Christmas too, plus visits when possible between. So a lot of our understanding of how she is we have to based on twice weekly phone calls.
When here over Christmas it was clear that she had deteriorated a lot since her Summer visit. The repetition was constant and it was obvious she could no longer cope with the basics. When we took her home a quick look in the fridge showed food out of date from months before (this was after she said she had cleaned out the fridge and only kept the good stuff). I'm pretty sure food wise she now lives on things that can be cooked in the micro - porridge, ready meals etc - and sandwiches.
We sat down and discussed with her having a carer come in each day and she point blank refused, saying she would decide when and she wouldn't let them in. Over the next week I phoned her pretty much most nights until she agreed to a lady she has known for a few years coming in twice a week for a start (so not an official carer, but better than no one).
Today she couldn't get out of the bath and thankfully it was a day the lady comes in, but she was stuck there for three hours. Then she couldn't remember how to phone any of us (numbers all saved in the phone) or find her address book.
Obviously as well as the memory issues she is struggling physically and we are worried about what to do next. Her GP is calling me on Monday and I am thinking we will need to start the ball rolling for a carer to come in daily - but what if she still refuses? How do we progress this? Before the Alzheimers she was stubborn, but her refusal to listen is making it very hard to make sure she has proper care. Although she does have friends near it isn't fair for us to keep relying on them to keep us updated.
Moving her in with us (or my parents) isn't an option, plus she would be unwilling to move from her locality. We want her to be able to maintain her independence for as long as possible as we know how much she wants to avoid any form of care home - although we do know somewhere not too far down the line this will have to be considered.
So if we arrange a carer can she then refuse access? How can we deal with this? I feel we are flapping around at the moment just not sure what to do next!
Because she told social services that she didnt need any help she was crossed off their books and was left with no help at all. She started wandering around during the night, in the cold, wearing only night clothes. By now I was tearing my hair out. Eventually the crisis arrived - she had a TIA and went into a care home from the hospital.
