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Caring for your partner whilst they are in hospital

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by technotronic, Jan 13, 2018.

  1. technotronic

    technotronic Registered User

    Jun 14, 2014
    226
    Looking at the level of n non knowledge of hospital staff in caring for dementia patients while in hospital, i am so glad that i was able to spend as much time day n night seven days a week (eventually allowed by an understanding Sister) being with n caring for my wife (walking with her and feeding her) while she was in hospital, as i was there with her anytime she needed me so she didnt need to feel frightened, scared or feel alone as hospitals can be frightening places to those with dementia. More carers of partners n loved ones should be allowed the amount of access that I was allowed to be with them when they are in hospital. It can help the hospital staff who don't always have time to sit n feed them or time to walk with them, negating need to give them drugs to make them calmer or to sleep. Carers can be an invaluable help like i was as staff later told me with my wife in hospital, as there aren't always enuf staff to care for them or trained properly to care for them. ☹
     
  2. Mudgee Joy

    Mudgee Joy Registered User

    Dec 26, 2017
    74
    I totally agree and spent as much time as I could with my husband in hospital 6 months ago - the nurses overall were very pleased I was there to help him eat, talk him into the medicine and walk him to the bathroom. The head nurse would sometimes say - “thank heavens you are here to settle him down” - and as soon as I spoke to him he would settle and be content. The staff just can’t do it and are time poor - and have little real interest - I was able to be helpful to the other 3 blokes in the ward too - so a good experience overall!
    It’s probably the sane the world over :) .
     
  3. DollyBird16

    DollyBird16 Registered User

    Sep 5, 2017
    793
    Female
    Greater London
    Hi
    I totally agree the need to be with the patient to give security, reassurance, comfort and love.
    I found out about John’s campaign. Which many trusts are signed up to, enabling carers to be present at any time. X
    http://johnscampaign.org.uk/#/participants
     
  4. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    64,743
    Kent
    I agree with you 100% @technotronic .

    Sadly this was not allowed for me and I ended up having to make a formal complaint against the hospital. I don't think it will happen again for others.
     
  5. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    54,024
    Dundee
    During Bill's last week in hospital I stayed with him all the time. They gave us a side room and I got a fold down bed which was alongside Bill's bed. I appreciated that more than I can say. It allowed me to be with Bill in the early hours of the morning when Bill passed away.
     
  6. Mudgee Joy

    Mudgee Joy Registered User

    Dec 26, 2017
    74
    That’s lovely.
     
  7. love.dad.but..

    love.dad.but.. Registered User

    Jan 16, 2014
    1,356
    Maidstone.Kent
    I agree and not just partners as well. Mindful that not everyone can do it though. I actually stayed in with dad for 10 days when he had to have an emergency operation...he was very feisty with any intervention even having temp taken as he didn't have any understanding and became quickly frightened and he would have escaped. Then again for 7 days at end of life before he went back to NH to pass away a week later. It was tiring and uncomfortable trying to sleep on a hospital chair and most nights I would take myself for a walk around the corridors if dad was asleep but for me worth every minute as I was able to help dad albeit at times having to physically hold him for procedures which you hope never having to do and to bring things to staff attention so dad was well monitored. I felt sorry for other dementia patients on his ward who had no one visiting and did alert staff to some things for them as well if needed.On both occasions straight from A and E through to the wards all staff accepted readily that I would stay....yes it helped them and I was happy for them to see it that way but most importantly it was for dad as he couldn't verbalize and was very frightened and resistant, I realise that this is impossible to do for many carers and hopefullyI never have someone else close to me with dementia but I wouldn't hesitate to do again. Dementia awareness and understanding amongst staff whilst improving in some areas in some hospitals, from my experience for dad, still has a very long way to go.
     
  8. baxter1

    baxter1 Registered User

    Mar 8, 2014
    159
    derbyshire

    I absolutely agree. However, some, like me, have loved partners/spouses in secure mental health units, aka 'hospitals', where visiting is strictly controlled. As a result, bending the rules and stretching a point about being there to help them, that is the staff, and your loved one are only likely to happen when the end of their awful struggle is nearing.
     
  9. technotronic

    technotronic Registered User

    Jun 14, 2014
    226
    I fully understand what you say that in this situation it's not possible to do a similar thing that I did as where they are makes it all the more difficult for you to be able to, which is a shame really as despite the affects of the condition I do feel the person that you knew is still in there n though they may not show it still has some small cognisance of the real world they live in n feel sorry that they are unable to have n miss out on the sort of full time contact that I had with my wife in hospital. My thoughts are with you n your loved one
     

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