Hi, My grandmother has dementia and my mum is her carer. My mum has 3 sisters but only one of them helps out on a regular basis. My grandmother still lives on her own at the moment. I was just wondering if anyone has any advice on how to look out for my mum? She takes the brunt of all the mood swings and sees the worst of her mum which her sisters do not see. So they think my mum is over exaggerating which she is of course not. The only trouble with my mum is that she puts herself last (always has done!) and as her daughter I can see how stressed out she is but if I suggest something to do differently she gets upset with me. For example, I found out that it’s likely my mum will likely be having my grandmother over for Christmas both Xmas day and Boxing Day cos her sisters already have plans (like my mum doesn’t!!) - I said that’s not on and she should insist one of her sisters helps out on one day but my mum excuses them all! So I said if she has to have her both days then don’t have her round all day - stay for dinner and presents and take her home. (My grandmother doesn’t like being around lots of people and there will be lots of us) My mum says she can’t because she’ll get lonely. While I completely understand my mums point of view as she is still her mum and will feel guilt about leaving her, I can also see that my grandmother being round all day on both days will be no good for either of them. Meanwhile I’m upset cos I know I’ve upset my mum by nagging her! It’s hard because I feel frustrated that my mum won’t help herself and I know that I come across as though I’m having a go at my mum. These sort of things happen all the time where my mum will take the burden of every chore, appointment, event and everything else, regardless of whether it is the best thing to do or not because I know she feels guilty all the time that she doesn’t see her every minute of the day. And I’ve given up mentioning having Carer’s come in occasionally to lighten the workload - she will not hear it! Thank you for reading and any advice is gratefully received, even if you tell me I’m wrong!!