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Caring for partner with early onset Alzheimers

Terrtel

Registered User
Mar 22, 2017
6
0
Hi all.
I'm a 48 y/o carer for my female partner who was diagnosed last year with early onset Alzheimers at the age of 49.
We live in different counties in central England and she splits her week with me and her home town which is where her family (kids, grandkids) live.
We have been together for just about 2 years, I was widowed before we met, I lost my previous partner to cancer, she was only 47.
I love her to bits and felt I'd never love again after losing my partner. Neither of us was expecting this diagnosis and she gave me the freedom to walk away as I had not long been through the trauma of bereavement. I couldn't do that though, despite knowing what is ahead.
Lately I have been feeling a grief though just as I had those years ago, it doesn't help that we aren't together full time as much as I would love us to be. So at times I feel quite alone with my thoughts and feelings.
Anyway, I have found this forum now so that is a bonus I hope.
 

Amethyst59

Registered User
Jul 3, 2017
5,777
0
Kent
Hello, @Terrtel...welcome to Talking Point, but what tragic circumstances have bought you here. I too, was widowed, and now my current husband has dementia, but he is much older than your partner. What a terrible thing for you both to be going through. I think, whether we have our loved ones with us, or not, this is all a very isolating experience and Talking Point is a godsend. The members are very welcoming and I’m sure you will find it a source of support.
Take time to have a read round, and feel free to post questions, or just use this as a space to reach out to others, or to have a good moan.
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
6,266
0
N Ireland
Hello @Terrtel, you are welcome here.

You are correct when you say you are feeling grief again as what is know as anticipatory grief is often experienced by all involved after a diagnosis. I felt this when my wife was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's but got through it by getting busy with getting our affairs in order before my wife lost legal capacity (wills, POA, etc). You will get understanding and support here so I hope that that helps you both.
Have you both been given details of support available and has medication like Donepezil been prescribed?
You may want to do a bit of research on the site as it's a bit of a gold mine for information. A good place to start may be the AS Factsheets and they can be found by following this link https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets-full-list

For example, anticipatory grief is covered by the factsheet that can be found via this link https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/sites...oads/factsheet_grief_loss_and_bereavement.pdf
 

Terrtel

Registered User
Mar 22, 2017
6
0
Hello, @Terrtel...welcome to Talking Point, but what tragic circumstances have bought you here. I too, was widowed, and now my current husband has dementia, but he is much older than your partner. What a terrible thing for you both to be going through. I think, whether we have our loved ones with us, or not, this is all a very isolating experience and Talking Point is a godsend. The members are very welcoming and I’m sure you will find it a source of support.
Take time to have a read round, and feel free to post questions, or just use this as a space to reach out to others, or to have a good moan.
Thank you for your reply, I will take time to read any replies and also check out any links or areas that have been suggested. I'm glad I have made contact, my partner and her daughter have been to a group but again as we don't live together full time I feel a little 'out of it' though I have been able to go to a couple of her consultant appointments and one speech and language one.
 

Terrtel

Registered User
Mar 22, 2017
6
0
Hello @Terrtel, you are welcome here.

You are correct when you say you are feeling grief again as what is know as anticipatory grief is often experienced by all involved after a diagnosis. I felt this when my wife was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's but got through it by getting busy with getting our affairs in order before my wife lost legal capacity (wills, POA, etc). You will get understanding and support here so I hope that that helps you both.
Have you both been given details of support available and has medication like Donepezil been prescribed?
You may want to do a bit of research on the site as it's a bit of a gold mine for information. A good place to start may be the AS Factsheets and they can be found by following this link

For example, anticipatory grief is covered by the factsheet that can be found via this link


Hi, thanks for the reply.
We met someone from the Alzheimer's Society in her local area, she put her in touch with a few things. She went to a group for younger people along with her daughter. I was unable to go due to working full time and being 80 miles away. I feel I am the one who knows more about her condition, I see her on her good and bad days, I've fought her corner with a gp (who thought she was just tired and anxious) My late (previous) partner was a carer of 30 years for the elderly specialising in Dementia care so I have an insight.. but at times I'm feeling a bit left out. I often can't go to things, where her daughter can. Gp visits, hospital appointments, groups. I just would love to be there to support her.
I will check out the links, and look around the site. Thank you again.