Hi everyone,I care for my ex partner and friend, he was diagnosed Dementia with Lewy bodies last August
2022,I realised he was having hallucinations when he kept seeing people in the, also one day he thought I was dead on the settee with no arms or legs, he rushed into the street to my friend she wasn't inch then phoned my sister and said I was legless on the settee, he then phoned and said your dead on the settee and that he had phoned my sister, at that stage I could say to him go to the settee and feel around I'm not there I'm talking to you on the phone,I then phoned my sister and said I was okay, she said her and her husband were just going round as they something was amiss.
It has got to the stage he has now been taken into hospital he has lost all sense of reality, talking to his imaginary friend while I'm there, the other nightI sleep on a put you bed in his sitting room,I heard him shuffling down the hall he said can you help me King Charles is in my bed,I got up and pulled back the duvet and there is no-one there he said shush you'll wait the king,I made him a cup of tea it took two hours before I could persuade him to go back to bed.An hour later he came back I'm queuing for a prescription for King Charles for his COPD, my friend has COPD he said come and see the queue, he was looking at the reflection in his bedside table, stainless steel base.
I was getting a bus to his Tuesday morning, I had phoned at 10am as usual he didn't answer so I was worried,I met a friend who lives nearly opposite him she said I saw D trying to get out the front door with only his tee shirt on but not sure what he did after that.When we got off the bus and I arrived at his flat I found him on the floor on the landing outside,I made sure he hadn't broken any bones and then got him up, it was difficult quite a big chap 17.5 stone, anyway managed to get him up ,he didn't want to go into the flat,I didn't want him going back down the stairs, quite a struggle.
Trying to keep him on the bed to stop him falling down the stairs was no mean feat,I phone my sister in tears she was on the bus coming back to the town where we both live, she said you should an ambulance as he looks taking care of,I phoned an ambulance, credit to them they arrived in 40 mins, they were brilliant with
him, they said they would take him to the hospital as he was a danger to himself and me.
While we were waiting for the ambulance crew to make arrangements which hospital had the least ambulances waiting to unload patients, his old neighbour bless her climber the stairs with his glasses in her hand and said he had rang her doorbell at 1am to ask where I was,I said I am so sorry, she said no she was just worried about D.0ne of the ambulance crew called the crisis team and said they wanted him assessed at the hospital as he wasn't safe to go home, if discharged from hospital.they asked me to go in the ambulance with him to keep him calm.I stayed most of the day looking after him in a side room, going home about 8.30 pm,I had been trying to keep him on the bed as he wanted to go to wee but wouldn't use the bottle they brought to mess they put pads on him, which he didn't want to go to a wee in,I was exhausted by that time and a friend collected me from hospital.
I visited him yesterday and his arms were black and blue from his fall from yesterday,I asked if he had been assessed by the mental health team they said I could speak to a Dr who was dealing within,I have a lasting power of attorney for Health and Welfare and property and finance,I was upset when the Dr said he will be with us for a while yetis I feel he needs to be in a secure unit, horrified i thought about something with wire security netting all round,the Dr said I know it sounds awful but he is a danger to himself and possibly you,I said he would never hurt me,he said he wouldn't but this terrible illness might cause him to harm yo, if he had pushed you down the stairs when you were trying to get him up it could have been tragic.
He said you will be consulted every step of the way,and I know its a big responsibly and sad decision you have to make,of course I thought I would sleep better knowing he was safe, but I was awake 4am yesterday morning and again this morning hence this long post,I feel so guilty when he says I think they will let me out probably this week,I know this won't happen but part of me thinks maybe I should take him home and move in and look after him all the time so I can keep him safe,I feel so consumed with guilt, he was so pleased to see me yesterday he cried when I got there for visiting time.
He was my partner for two years them he was unfaithful to me for about 18 months, neither G or me knew about the other it wa so well orchestrated by him, when they broke eventually ,I became his friend again,I care deeply about him but couldn't go back to being his lover, something was broken, so the added complication is he loves me dearly and I just want to look after him as my best friend,I feel this resentment every time I get out the put u up bed.
I used to go to his at 10am until I went home in a taxi at 9pm not really spending anytime in mown property,I cleaned, cooked for him, did all his finances, made sure his pills were ready weekly, arranged property repairs, did his garden ,and all his hospital appts, as i mentioned above he has COPD and gout as well as his Dementia.
Yet I still feel guilty that if he goes in a secure unite will not see his birds in the garden, he will not be able to take walks round our beautiful town albeit quite slowly and he doesn't really want to go out much these days.
I am 77 and he will be 79 this year not sure how much longer I could sleep on a put u up bed or walk the 30 minute from my place to his,I don't drive and never have, any bodies views on what I should do would be appreciated.
Thank you for letting me go on with my thoughts but there they are all laid .
Mo xx
love to all in similar and worse positions than me
2022,I realised he was having hallucinations when he kept seeing people in the, also one day he thought I was dead on the settee with no arms or legs, he rushed into the street to my friend she wasn't inch then phoned my sister and said I was legless on the settee, he then phoned and said your dead on the settee and that he had phoned my sister, at that stage I could say to him go to the settee and feel around I'm not there I'm talking to you on the phone,I then phoned my sister and said I was okay, she said her and her husband were just going round as they something was amiss.
It has got to the stage he has now been taken into hospital he has lost all sense of reality, talking to his imaginary friend while I'm there, the other nightI sleep on a put you bed in his sitting room,I heard him shuffling down the hall he said can you help me King Charles is in my bed,I got up and pulled back the duvet and there is no-one there he said shush you'll wait the king,I made him a cup of tea it took two hours before I could persuade him to go back to bed.An hour later he came back I'm queuing for a prescription for King Charles for his COPD, my friend has COPD he said come and see the queue, he was looking at the reflection in his bedside table, stainless steel base.
I was getting a bus to his Tuesday morning, I had phoned at 10am as usual he didn't answer so I was worried,I met a friend who lives nearly opposite him she said I saw D trying to get out the front door with only his tee shirt on but not sure what he did after that.When we got off the bus and I arrived at his flat I found him on the floor on the landing outside,I made sure he hadn't broken any bones and then got him up, it was difficult quite a big chap 17.5 stone, anyway managed to get him up ,he didn't want to go into the flat,I didn't want him going back down the stairs, quite a struggle.
Trying to keep him on the bed to stop him falling down the stairs was no mean feat,I phone my sister in tears she was on the bus coming back to the town where we both live, she said you should an ambulance as he looks taking care of,I phoned an ambulance, credit to them they arrived in 40 mins, they were brilliant with
him, they said they would take him to the hospital as he was a danger to himself and me.
While we were waiting for the ambulance crew to make arrangements which hospital had the least ambulances waiting to unload patients, his old neighbour bless her climber the stairs with his glasses in her hand and said he had rang her doorbell at 1am to ask where I was,I said I am so sorry, she said no she was just worried about D.0ne of the ambulance crew called the crisis team and said they wanted him assessed at the hospital as he wasn't safe to go home, if discharged from hospital.they asked me to go in the ambulance with him to keep him calm.I stayed most of the day looking after him in a side room, going home about 8.30 pm,I had been trying to keep him on the bed as he wanted to go to wee but wouldn't use the bottle they brought to mess they put pads on him, which he didn't want to go to a wee in,I was exhausted by that time and a friend collected me from hospital.
I visited him yesterday and his arms were black and blue from his fall from yesterday,I asked if he had been assessed by the mental health team they said I could speak to a Dr who was dealing within,I have a lasting power of attorney for Health and Welfare and property and finance,I was upset when the Dr said he will be with us for a while yetis I feel he needs to be in a secure unit, horrified i thought about something with wire security netting all round,the Dr said I know it sounds awful but he is a danger to himself and possibly you,I said he would never hurt me,he said he wouldn't but this terrible illness might cause him to harm yo, if he had pushed you down the stairs when you were trying to get him up it could have been tragic.
He said you will be consulted every step of the way,and I know its a big responsibly and sad decision you have to make,of course I thought I would sleep better knowing he was safe, but I was awake 4am yesterday morning and again this morning hence this long post,I feel so guilty when he says I think they will let me out probably this week,I know this won't happen but part of me thinks maybe I should take him home and move in and look after him all the time so I can keep him safe,I feel so consumed with guilt, he was so pleased to see me yesterday he cried when I got there for visiting time.
He was my partner for two years them he was unfaithful to me for about 18 months, neither G or me knew about the other it wa so well orchestrated by him, when they broke eventually ,I became his friend again,I care deeply about him but couldn't go back to being his lover, something was broken, so the added complication is he loves me dearly and I just want to look after him as my best friend,I feel this resentment every time I get out the put u up bed.
I used to go to his at 10am until I went home in a taxi at 9pm not really spending anytime in mown property,I cleaned, cooked for him, did all his finances, made sure his pills were ready weekly, arranged property repairs, did his garden ,and all his hospital appts, as i mentioned above he has COPD and gout as well as his Dementia.
Yet I still feel guilty that if he goes in a secure unite will not see his birds in the garden, he will not be able to take walks round our beautiful town albeit quite slowly and he doesn't really want to go out much these days.
I am 77 and he will be 79 this year not sure how much longer I could sleep on a put u up bed or walk the 30 minute from my place to his,I don't drive and never have, any bodies views on what I should do would be appreciated.
Thank you for letting me go on with my thoughts but there they are all laid .
Mo xx
love to all in similar and worse positions than me
