Caring for mum

Starting on a journey

Registered User
Jul 9, 2019
440
@DILhelp
Thanks for the good wishes. We all just carry on in our own way. We just ignore the dementia elephant in the room and get on with what we can.
No1 daughter will be here soon, cross questioning me on what I have packed, booked etc.
No 2 daughter gets married next year and they will be sitting down with diaries to make sure that I get a proper break. She wants me to go on her hen do but that will take some Organization. I am a bit old fashioned I do think that ladies should be helped by ladies in matter of bathroom and washing etc so would have to find someone to help my son whilst we are away!! Another problem for another day!!
 

Starting on a journey

Registered User
Jul 9, 2019
440
Mum survived my mini break last week. My daughters said she was ever so good. Even bought a new wheelchair for me to push (thanks mum)
So on Saturday no 1 daughter nipped in to use printer, mum says look it’s both your girls...I was concerned as I was talking to No 2 on the phone. Unfortunately mum had confused my 6’4 son in law with my daughter!

Todays confusion was actually quite funny. My sister rang to tell her that her sister in law was a grandmother again and after the call we had a nice chat about baby weights. The only problem was that by this time mum had decided that the 60+ sister in law had been the one having the baby!!
I said it must have been her daughter but I am not totally sure mum understood!!
I just keep documenting these things so that I don’t fall into the trap of thinking there is nothing wrong with mum
 

Starting on a journey

Registered User
Jul 9, 2019
440
Mum has had an upset tummy since Sunday night so I called the doctors this morning and got a telephone appointment. Mum slept most of the morning whilst I washed and recovered from washing and cleaning yesterday.
A doctor rang me at 3pm and after discussion said he was worried that mum might be dehydrated and should be seen by a doctor. One will call within 6 hours . It’s now after 10pm , mum has gone to bed, I can’t stay awake. I hope she has a better night than last night. I don’t think she’s too bad but it worries me that they don’t come when they say they will.
 

imthedaughter

Registered User
Apr 3, 2019
507
Mum has had an upset tummy since Sunday night so I called the doctors this morning and got a telephone appointment. Mum slept most of the morning whilst I washed and recovered from washing and cleaning yesterday.
A doctor rang me at 3pm and after discussion said he was worried that mum might be dehydrated and should be seen by a doctor. One will call within 6 hours . It’s now after 10pm , mum has gone to bed, I can’t stay awake. I hope she has a better night than last night. I don’t think she’s too bad but it worries me that they don’t come when they say they will.
Oh no I hope they aren't going to call late, are they? Probably just give up and see if you get a call in the morning. how has mum been other than that? I always enjoy reading your posts, you are always so jolly and your family sounds lovely x
 

Starting on a journey

Registered User
Jul 9, 2019
440
I have just got up to find a card saying they called at 22:45!!! We were all in bed ! We all wear hearing aids so can’t hear the door.
My daughters have just said that seems a bit late for a non urgent visit for a 90yr old who has a tummy upset. Maybe we are just old fashioned and everyone else is up much later.
Mum is still asleep so I am hoping it has stopped and she has had a better night and I am not doing more washing!
When the children were little they had a nine o clock bedtime which continues to this day, unless out on a social occasion they are all in bed by nine!!
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,787
South East
That is bonkers ! We would all be in bed by then too , Mum wouldn’t be awake and up for being prodded /poked at that time of night . Hope it passes soon and mum is feeling better and you get a break from washing /cleaning 🤞 Could you try some diarolite ? I find it’s the loss of salts that effect me most , (Mum used to get us drinking Andrews) I agree with @imthedaughter, I look forward to seeing your posts😊.
 

Starting on a journey

Registered User
Jul 9, 2019
440
Mum feels a lot better!
I rang the doctors and they were quite sympathetic that I had fallen asleep. Told them I didn’t think mum needed a visit and we agreed that I would contact them if necessary or doctor could ring if he wanted. Remembered to tell her to thank doctor . Ok I am old fashioned but ....
Now need to build mums strength up. The dreaded virus seems to be building in our area again (we have never been out of some form of lockdown) . We both need new winter shoes (me need, mum desire) so hopefully we will get those early next week. I don’t think internet shopping and shoes work.
I have to be fairly light hearted; if not the alternative is a mire of despondency which is so easy for me to fall into!!
 

imthedaughter

Registered User
Apr 3, 2019
507
Good idea @Woo2 - I think also any sports hydration tablets or drink would do the trick - we always have 'High5' tablets in the cupboard for sports but they are a salt mix and may work out cheaper than Dioralyte. Other brands are available including 'nuun'. Worth ordering some online (try wiggle, the online sports place or any bike shop) and keeping on hand!
Interestingly they give you those before you give blood now, they think it helps rehydrate better and possibly prevents some people from fainting after(?)
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,711
Yorkshire
Glad your mum is feeling bit better today, hope she continues to improve, dioralyte is a good suggestion and the sports drinks. I used to have lucozade a lot as a kid when I wasn't well, I loved the orangey colour and the bottle.
How silly a DR calling at that time, and it would have been out of the 6 hour slot they said too, of course you were in bed:rolleyes:
We once had police come for a statement after 11 at night, hubby and I were in our pjs just thinking of going to bed and our hearts were in our mouths when door bell went so late. Hubby didn't even open the door just shouted 'who is it' and looked through the voile curtain in porch. He got a right shock when saw police and they said who it was. They'd been to neighbours that morning over an attempted break in and said they'd cometo take a statement off us later, we didn't realise later meant after 11pm.
Hope your mum is ok today x
 

Starting on a journey

Registered User
Jul 9, 2019
440
Then it got worse!! It started again and I phoned doctors.
They called back, stop her water tablet , take dioralite, report any abdominal pain and bring a stool staple.
I said she has abdominal pain, ok will tell doctor...and ring you back
No call back it’s POETS day and all gone home early!!
This morning missed call at 08:30 ; from doctor (I was trying to unravel mums thoughts) phoned back receptionist had given doctor wrong message !!! Told them had sample and mum seems better but it is in the Alzheimer’s loop and getting an answer is impossible. She is focused on poo and nothing but poo(oh my) she says I know it’s not nice and then continues chatting about it.
If she really is a bit better me and son are escaping for lunch and some quick food shopping. Blooming Alzheimer’s drives you mad sometimes. I will get her out of the loop maybe Sunday if she’s been clear for 48 hours!!
 

Susiejewel

New member
Sep 9, 2020
2
You're not alone, although it feels like it, yesterday I was ready to explode, and that is only day 3 being stuck at home and no carers coming in. Every little thing she argues about, says I am lying etc. Won't believe that she has had her morning pills because the carers haven't arrived yet (they suspended services). Gave me a slap last night for saying it was nearly dinnertime.
She knows about the virus but thinks everything is an overreaction.

It's so hard but we WILL get through it!
Wow.. completely wrong way to put it but I am so relieved right now to see so many issues I’m faced with being talked about here. New to the forum and I’ve already learned so much from others on here. I’m not alone!! My mum has also began to accuse me of lying about many things, hope all is going ok.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,787
South East
Oh no, hope the stopping of water tablet helps soon 🤞 The lunch and shopping with son sounds good, and a welcome short break . Really human error is a part of life but it is annoying . I explained to Dr’s receptionist just yesterday that I don’t have an hour to hold trying to get a telephone consultation , she says well everyone else manage it , I appreciate that but It would be nice if just occasionally there was a small concession for carer’s . Hope mum feels better soon. Can you give her eggs ? Mum used to say they bind you up . Sorry not sure if it’s that that is a problem or the other way .
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,711
Yorkshire
Sorry mum got worse again, hope she stays better this time and stopping water tablet helps. Did you get sample to DRs or did they decide not to bother if mum seems bit better? Did mum eat yesterday and it set upset tummy off again afterwards? Could be tummy not totally settled and recovered yet. After a bad bout of diarrohea my stomach can feel like been punched and mum who has had tummy troubles for years would often say her tummy was tender and got pains with and after it. Have you tried the BRAT diet for after had an upset stomach/vomitting? Its bland low fiber food in small quantities that help firm up your poo and calm your stomach. B-banana R-rice A-applesauce T-toast. A slice of bread with just a little margarine on and rich tea or arrowroot biscuits are something I have too.
Hope she is better soon x
 

Starting on a journey

Registered User
Jul 9, 2019
440
Thankyou all for your kind concerns.
Physically mum is quite a bit better but stuck in a loop....she’s ill, it’s bad, she needs antibiotics why can’t I give her any? So I told her I haven’t got any!!
@annielou great suggestion re diet but that would require understanding....no it’s a normal high calorie diet for mum. She had oven fish and chips for tea and whilst I was calling no 1 son for his tea out of the corner of my eye I found her putting whisky on her fish!!!
At bedtime she suddenly turned to me and said she wouldn’t leave any money to me if I gambled..... I just looked at her and told her strongly that I go not, have.not and will not gamble!!
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
13,672
South coast
Physically mum is quite a bit better but stuck in a loop....she’s ill, it’s bad, she needs antibiotics why can’t I give her any?
A little trick that I was told if they insisted on having tablets that they did not need was to buy tic-tacs. Dont let them see the packaging, but give them a couple and tell them that they will make them feel better.
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,711
Yorkshire
I’ve heard of beer battered fish but not whisky battered Lol 😊maybe she thought it looked same colour as vinegar Bless her.
You could tell her DR has put her on special diet cos she’s ill but you’d probably have to keep reminding her over and over so if she’s starting to get better physically its probably not worth it. Good suggestion with the tic tacs @canary made or a vitamin tablet, hope your mum feels better soon.X
 

Starting on a journey

Registered User
Jul 9, 2019
440
I am just brushing it off. Personally feeling quite strong at the moment so “it’s water off a ducks back” to me and I tell her sternly “no” which she responds to. If I’m not in a good place then oh my!
Tic tacs are my secret weapon