Caring for mum

Starting on a journey

Registered User
Jul 9, 2019
440
Mum was so good yesterday! She wanted bathroom towels. We went out, socially distanced ourselves and bought them. She washed her hands without complaining. It was a good day and I was quietly thinking to myself “maybe they were wrong with the diagnosis “
Then we had dinner ..spaghetti bol which she said was superb!!!
After dinner sitting quietly before the one show.....”was that spaghetti bolognaise or cottage pie, it was very nice” I calmly replied that cottage pie had potato and spaghetti bolognaise had pasta . “Oh yes, so what’s shepherds pie? “ After explaining that involved carrots and onions she said oh no I don’t like that.
It would be understandable but she has had cottage pie all her life and spaghetti for the last 60 years!!
Oh well Fish tonight!!
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,712
Yorkshire
Those little things pop up and remind us that yes unfortunately there is something wrong don’t they. 🤗
Glad you had a good day overall apart from the disappointing reminder x
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,792
South East
I can’t work out if its cruel to show us these little moments of lucidity in our PWD or joy . Mum will flat out turn her nose up at a meal she has made and enjoyed for donkeys years , another day she will eat something that she has never had and I wouldn’t anticipate she would like . Glad you had an ok day .
 

Starting on a journey

Registered User
Jul 9, 2019
440
Mum is constant in her likes and dislikes, it’s just those days when she doesn’t know what things are.....especially when she has been eating them for years. I had “flat egg but not fried “ ...... ah.....poached, but most days not sure how to do it.
 

Starting on a journey

Registered User
Jul 9, 2019
440
So mum had a letter to say she was no longer shielded. She wants to go out so we had a couple of outings. Me with my heart in my mouth as some people didn’t seem to follow the rules.
Now the Home Secretary says they are considering locking down the city.... oh no ....not again
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,712
Yorkshire
I wouldn’t be surprised if we end up in full on lockdown again in a while as now things are easing some people think its a free for all and have stopped being careful. Its gonna be hard to explain to our loved ones why could do things then have to stop again.
 

Starting on a journey

Registered User
Jul 9, 2019
440
@annielou at least with the publicity today I have been able to warn mum we might not be able to go out tomorrow. We went to a garden centre yesterday that was perfect...all laid out and signposted but more importantly people were following the instructions and being careful!!
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,792
South East
It’s so frustrating as there a minority that will ruin it for the majority , there are a few here that seem to have completely disregarded the social distance and act like pre lockdown . Glad you have had a couple of trips out , I haven’t braved taking Mum out yet , I perhaps should but it fills me with dread and anxiety but she really does need to get out .
 

Starting on a journey

Registered User
Jul 9, 2019
440
Luckily mum was really good and accepted all the changes. I think because other people were doing the same.
I am wary about where I take her and it has done her good although I am not sure we will ever get back to her normal. Mum liked shopping , never overspent, just likes to buy.... and always coffee or a light lunch out ....now I am not sure what we will do. At 90 and not that robust I want her to get out and about this summer as she may not be able to do much next year.
Hopefully if there is no further lockdown I can take her out more with the support of her grandchildren.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
13,685
South coast
now I am not sure what we will do. At 90 and not that robust I want her to get out and about this summer
Mum liked to be pushed in her wheelchair along the prom, or in a park and we would eat ice-cream. She used to like going to a cafe for lunch or tea and cake too, but it might be difficult for a while. Could you pack a picnic that you could share?
 

Starting on a journey

Registered User
Jul 9, 2019
440
I think we will have to when we go out on trips. It is the day to day entertainment...we used to lunch/coffee out 5 days a week...never expensive just supermarket or charity cafes... she really misses that and there’s no sign of any of them opening. We spent many a pleasant cup of coffee in Asda people watching..it was soothing for both of us.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
13,685
South coast
What about a flask of coffee and some cake on a bench somewhere people watching there? It doesnt have to be a big day out, it could be in a square, on a high street, outside the town hall. There are loads of benches dotted around within walking distance of where I live. Im sure there must be quite a few near you too.
 

Starting on a journey

Registered User
Jul 9, 2019
440
So we were sitting watching a programme on the Sahara desert.
Mum says, “do you remember that decorator who was a policeman and we had to lock the cat in, you met him?“
“Not sure mum it was a long time ago “(think sister met him) says me
Mum continues, “he and his wife were walkers and crossed the Sahara desert with one bottle of water each and then went mountain climbing in Nepal.“
“Oh my “says me .“...they must have been busy “
I do remember her saying before that they walked but don’t think the Sahara was within their capabilities!!
 

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
1,790
cornwall
So we were sitting watching a programme on the Sahara desert.
Mum says, “do you remember that decorator who was a policeman and we had to lock the cat in, you met him?“
“Not sure mum it was a long time ago “(think sister met him) says me
Mum continues, “he and his wife were walkers and crossed the Sahara desert with one bottle of water each and then went mountain climbing in Nepal.“
“Oh my “says me .“...they must have been busy “
I do remember her saying before that they walked but don’t think the Sahara was within their capabilities!!
Dementia is a funny thing. I often wonder what my dad is going to say next.
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,712
Yorkshire
So we were sitting watching a programme on the Sahara desert.
Mum says, “do you remember that decorator who was a policeman and we had to lock the cat in, you met him?“
“Not sure mum it was a long time ago “(think sister met him) says me
Mum continues, “he and his wife were walkers and crossed the Sahara desert with one bottle of water each and then went mountain climbing in Nepal.“
“Oh my “says me .“...they must have been busy “
I do remember her saying before that they walked but don’t think the Sahara was within their capabilities!!
😁😁
 

Starting on a journey

Registered User
Jul 9, 2019
440
So, my girls will stay with their nana so mum can have two nights and three days away.....whoopee!!
off tomorrow and can’t wait! Had a weekend last November so this is long overdue!!
Was trying to explain to daughter how mum had changed and she came out with us a couple of times. She realised that you have to be alert and guide and help her all the time which she thinks an enormous change. Owing to lockdown she hadn’t had much contact other than a few words and smiles
It’s hard to explain...mums memory is still reasonable, she will remember that she has the disabled pass in her bag or that she wants me to wear a specific dress. Then she will just get confused, can’t work out how to get out of the car, will ask for help to put a jacket on, it will be totally confused watching a tv program wondering who the character’s are. She sees things, she remembers things but she often does not understand.
So tomorrow the girls are going baby shopping so nana will buy a baby outfit for their friend ....we had a decent discussion about what shop to go to , and when she has chosen it she will reach in her bag, retrieve her card, and then stand there with no idea!! Now my daughter has been with us she knows to step in and tap it!!
Two and a half days off... can’t wait!!
Thankyou my beautiful daughters!!
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,792
South East
Ah a well deserved break , have the best time ! Your two lovely daughters will be just fine and will learn very quickly when help is needed I’m sure , there’s nothing like learning on the job . Baby shopping sounds great and pizza and pasta . See you back soon refreshed and raring to go . Take care
 

DILhelp

Registered User
Jan 31, 2016
118
London
So, my girls will stay with their nana so mum can have two nights and three days away.....whoopee!!
off tomorrow and can’t wait! Had a weekend last November so this is long overdue!!
Was trying to explain to daughter how mum had changed and she came out with us a couple of times. She realised that you have to be alert and guide and help her all the time which she thinks an enormous change. Owing to lockdown she hadn’t had much contact other than a few words and smiles
It’s hard to explain...mums memory is still reasonable, she will remember that she has the disabled pass in her bag or that she wants me to wear a specific dress. Then she will just get confused, can’t work out how to get out of the car, will ask for help to put a jacket on, it will be totally confused watching a tv program wondering who the character’s are. She sees things, she remembers things but she often does not understand.
So tomorrow the girls are going baby shopping so nana will buy a baby outfit for their friend ....we had a decent discussion about what shop to go to , and when she has chosen it she will reach in her bag, retrieve her card, and then stand there with no idea!! Now my daughter has been with us she knows to step in and tap it!!
Two and a half days off... can’t wait!!
Thankyou my beautiful daughters!!
Aw I'm so happy you will get some respite. God bless. You totally deserve it. You are totally amazing. I read how you have been looking after your mum for 6 yrs. Me..5yrs with my MIL. I'm so sorry you suddenly became a widow. You are a true angel.