Hi. I am new to this and so introduce myself. My husband has vascular dementia together with numerous other conditions including diabetes. He has a catheter as a result of prostate problems andis incontinent as a result of bowel surgery. He refuses to visit a day centre and made it very clear he would not tolerate a crossroads visitor for 3 hours a week. I am finding things increasingly difficult as he is abusive at the slightest problem. I ffind it diffi ult to distract him and wonder how others deal with such behaviour.