We can't cope anymore, I'm 70 in a few months and my wife is 72, we have been caring for my Mil and FiL for the past 4 years. My FiL has Alzheimer's and my MiL is almost blind and now her short term memory is going and she is becoming confused and they are barely coping. They have refused to go into care and will not have care at home. They want to be very independent but are not coping well now. FiL has become abusive when I try to get him into clean clothes and also when I put the wheely bins out, he doesn't want them put out so when I have gone he fetches them back in before they are emptied. MiL from feeding the birds all kinds of food and seed has infested the house and their two neighbours houses with mice. I have had the environmental health officer onto me saying sort it or they will take action. I got pest control in and sorted it out, only to find rows of crumbled biscuits on four shelves in the lounge, I cleared this up read MiL the riot act again, only to find a few weeks later the washing machine door open (which they don't use) and crumbled biscuit crumbs inside. Because MiL can't see and FiL doesn't care the house is absolutely filthy but according to them its not so we are not allowed to clean anything. The latest problem is more serious they have and old gas cooker and recently have been setting fire to tea towels when removing saucepans from the cooker and we are concerned about them setting fire to the house and the attached two houses. When I approached SS 2 years ago and said they could self fund care they said well you organise it and did not want to know. FiL's DR has said get him into care at any cost how? If I didn't laugh at some of this I would cry, what can we do any suggestions? as its now causing us severe stress and making us ill we cannot cope much longer.