Difficult to know what to do. We did have support from the admiral nurse but there most be more demanding cases and they said my sisters and I were doing well looking after dad.
My dad has Alzheimer’s. Our world changed from July when my mum had a stroke and unfortunately never recovered. She was dads main carer and had retired as a mental health nurse to care for him. She kept him going and was able to get him to do so much. Wish we had seen how good mum was. We all used to support her if I am honest not as much as we should have. I miss her everyday and so feel guilty that I didn’t reach out as much as I could.
Now I and my younger sister looking after dad as my youngest sister has gone back to London. As her work has called her back. We have caters mon - wed and Fri in the day when we are at work. I have Thursdays off so have devoted that dad for looking after dad. Luckily I only work 4 days a week but it still hard at times but keep going.I stay in the week or weekends to look after dad. As I am 40 and my sister is 30 so don’t want her to miss out on having some sort of social life. I am very lucky to have a supportive husband. My dad has recently asked a lot about mum. I take him regularly to put flowers on her grave. He remembers for those minutes but he won’t remember we ve been . So I take pictures of him there so when he asked where she is I tell she has passed away and that he’s been to see her. Which seemed to work.
This week, dad has been convinced he seem mum on several occasions.He has actually seen me as i have had to him with things. I can’t sit on the chair mum used to sit on as did this once and he was convinced she was here. We agreed that we say she had gone on holiday . As my sister said if we said mum had passed he wouldn’t cope. As he was adamant he had seen her. Just feels wrong lying. Hope I am doing the right thing. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
My dad has Alzheimer’s. Our world changed from July when my mum had a stroke and unfortunately never recovered. She was dads main carer and had retired as a mental health nurse to care for him. She kept him going and was able to get him to do so much. Wish we had seen how good mum was. We all used to support her if I am honest not as much as we should have. I miss her everyday and so feel guilty that I didn’t reach out as much as I could.
Now I and my younger sister looking after dad as my youngest sister has gone back to London. As her work has called her back. We have caters mon - wed and Fri in the day when we are at work. I have Thursdays off so have devoted that dad for looking after dad. Luckily I only work 4 days a week but it still hard at times but keep going.I stay in the week or weekends to look after dad. As I am 40 and my sister is 30 so don’t want her to miss out on having some sort of social life. I am very lucky to have a supportive husband. My dad has recently asked a lot about mum. I take him regularly to put flowers on her grave. He remembers for those minutes but he won’t remember we ve been . So I take pictures of him there so when he asked where she is I tell she has passed away and that he’s been to see her. Which seemed to work.
This week, dad has been convinced he seem mum on several occasions.He has actually seen me as i have had to him with things. I can’t sit on the chair mum used to sit on as did this once and he was convinced she was here. We agreed that we say she had gone on holiday . As my sister said if we said mum had passed he wouldn’t cope. As he was adamant he had seen her. Just feels wrong lying. Hope I am doing the right thing. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.