Angielou-I feel for you. It is a hard row to plough and it can be very lonely and scary.
My husband was 49 years old and I was 48. Our youngest son was 11. (we had three older ones all at uni at the time 18 20, and 22)
My husband had early on set Alzheimer's part of the difficulty was it was all very subtle in the early years. He was extremely forgetful and anxious. Having been a executive in industry, he had a very hard time adjusting to life with no responsibilities and the indignity of not providing for his family. From the beginning he was getting lost, so I hired people to walk with him and it kept him very fit and healthy and provided him kept him in the beauty of nature, and someone to talk to 3 hours most days.
I worked full time as we got no disability payment from my husband's company, as the diagnosis came after he lost his job because of non performance (at that time his delayed diagnosis was unusual and the company got away with it!) I went back to work fulltime.
I have to say that sadly my children struggle to remember their father as a capable business leader and manager, a driven and hard working man. For our youngest son, it was a great struggle-as it was my husband who helped the others with homework and the sciences and maths. I was useless to help the youngest. We gave up a privileged lifestyle and home for a drop in status and financial means.
But we made it. All the children finished their university educations and for that I am grateful. the three eldest are now married and we have seven grandchildren. (unfortunately my husband does not know these children, nor recognize his own)
But my youngest son, is a great help to me now. Thankfully, he does not live with us and has a place of his own. He comes on Sundays and whenever I need him to help me with his father or something around the house.. He has grown into a compassionate young man....a little socialistic for my background, as he saw how his father was treated by the corporate world and capitalistic thinking that only rationality is valued in the western world. He is not the young man he would have been had his father not had his illness, yet he is a wonderful young man.
There were plenty of times when I did not think I would make it , but I did. I just kept going one day at a time. Doing the next right thing, as best I could. Coming here and getting great advice from Granny G and Marionq and others. I am not always perfect as a carer or as a mom doing it alone really. But I must say where the kids are concerned it is all ok. And despite terrible financial worries, today all is well and I have enough. Not extras but enough. I am grateful my husband's siblings and mother have been supportive and understanding from a distance.
Good luck, come here and moan and get it off your chest. I am sure you are doing a "good enough" job on all fronts.
Take care.