Caring During Corona

formymom

New member
Mar 29, 2020
5
64
Florida, USA
Hi,
I am new here, but so glad I found you. I have looked locally in Florida, USA, even before this mess and couldn't find any support groups! Unbelievable given our population. Anyway, I moved here almost 5 years ago, mostly to help out my almost (now) 93 year old Mother. She has had a heart attack, TIA and a myriad of other issues since I've been here. And before I came, I could tell her memory was starting to fail. I am a retired paramedic, so am familiar with medical issues. It has gotten worse in the last year, but she refuses to believe it or see someone. I am alone in my caring for her and we have always had a difficult relationship which makes it hard to 'force' her to go to a doctor about this all.
Now that this virus is rampant, I feel she is doing behaviors that could be dangerous to herself for sure. She always liked to walk, although I had finally gotten her to work out in the little gym in her apartment building. Oh, BTW, she still lives by herself not far from where I live. But they have closed that now. Now she has insisted on walking on a main road, which I feel is dangerous for many reasons, especially since they are advising people like her should be staying inside. No matter what I say, or how I say it, she doesn't seem to understand the dire consequences of this virus; especially to her population.
I do understand that it gives her pleasure to walk, but I also know that if she falls, or has another heart attack or even catches the virus; all these scenerios are probably going to have terrible outcomes.

Has anyone else had a hard time explaining the situation to their loved ones? Any suggestions?
Thanks,
Amy
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
5,510
N Ireland
Hello and welcome @formymom

This is a very difficult time and I know that other members of the forum have raised concerns similar to yours.

There is a separate sub-forum about these issues and you may see useful comments there.

Just follow this link

I hope that helps you.
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
9,132
Yorkshire
hello @formymom
a warm welcome to DTP
such a difficult time right now and sadly, I don't think you will be able to explain in a way your mom will grasp and retain
might you hide a card in her coat or bag/purse with an explanation that she has dementia and doesn't understand the current restrictions withbyour contact number ... at least then someone who tries to help her will have a reason she's out and be able to contact you
 

formymom

New member
Mar 29, 2020
5
64
Florida, USA
Hi and thanks for the welcome. I have convinced her to walk on her 'roof' instead of on the roadway. It's still don't a wonderful option because she has to go up this windy stairway to get there and could easily fall, but at least she isn't touching the elevator and doors to go outside. She had stopped walking up there to workout in her little gym, but that is closed for now. :( Unfortunately, my mom isn't really in full dementia...and if she found a note like that in her pocket, she would flip out at me. I had convinced her to put a note in with her name and my phone number though! :) I think she will totally not understand that the US restrictions have now been extended to the end of April. She IS confused enough to think this is all overblown, but apparently many elderly people feel that way. All very sad and unfortunate because they are at such risk.

Thanks for your help and reaching out. It's just great to know there are others in my situation. xo