I would very much appreciate any advice anyone could give on how to handle my Father in Law whilst his wife is in hospital.
I would say that he is suffering moderate symptoms, and certainly cannot be left alone, which is why my wife, his daughter, and I will stay with him whilst his wife is away.
I know that we will be faced with anxiety/anger issues as we faced this a few years back, and then he was accusing her of not telling him that she was going in.
However, this time, I fully expect him to be waking up, panicking, and wanting to go and look for her. What also complicates the matter is the fact that he does have access to a car, so I expect him to want to jump in that to search for her as well.
I have had a few thoughts, namely.
1. Rather than hide the keys and risk him turning the house upside down, just disable the car.
2. Would it help to print off a number of sheets just saying that she is in hospital for a short stay, that we will be visiting her in the afternoon, and that we are in the house as well if he needs us, placing these in prominent positions.
3. Keep him busy as much as possible. I know that he loves visiting the countryside, and that this seems to chill him out completely.
4. Do we lock the doors, and hide the keys?
Any views, and other ideas would be very much appreciated.
I have been looking at the huge amount of info on the web, and I don't suppose it will surprise anyone that my Mother in Law confidently breaks every "don't do" rule in the book. We simply don't seem to be able to get it through to her that she is making it worse for him as a person.
Unfortunately, he is met with a daily tirade of "I just told you that", "stop asking", and " I don't want a cup of tea, I just told you".
I know that it must be difficult living with someone who has this hideous condition day in and out, but it upsets my wife to see this happen to him, and it annoys me to see my wife, and my father in law subjected to the unnecessary mental anguish.
She has, however managed to take it to another level as well.
A while back, we arrived on a visit to find them both searching the whole house frantically. Obviously concerned, we asked what was wrong. Her response was " We went out this morning, so I told your father to hide his wallet".
We obviously asked if she had watched him do it, to which she replied "No I just told him to hide it, and now he can't remember where he put it".
I would never wish to make fun of anyone with such a terrible affliction, but you have to smile when an able minded person tells an Alzheimer's sufferer to hide something, without watching what they do!
We have tried several times to get the message across to her, but it just seems to fall on deaf ears. Is this a form of denial, or is it just ignorance of the facts?
Thank you for looking at this thread, and I look forward to any ideas that anyone may have.
Kind regards
Mark
I would say that he is suffering moderate symptoms, and certainly cannot be left alone, which is why my wife, his daughter, and I will stay with him whilst his wife is away.
I know that we will be faced with anxiety/anger issues as we faced this a few years back, and then he was accusing her of not telling him that she was going in.
However, this time, I fully expect him to be waking up, panicking, and wanting to go and look for her. What also complicates the matter is the fact that he does have access to a car, so I expect him to want to jump in that to search for her as well.
I have had a few thoughts, namely.
1. Rather than hide the keys and risk him turning the house upside down, just disable the car.
2. Would it help to print off a number of sheets just saying that she is in hospital for a short stay, that we will be visiting her in the afternoon, and that we are in the house as well if he needs us, placing these in prominent positions.
3. Keep him busy as much as possible. I know that he loves visiting the countryside, and that this seems to chill him out completely.
4. Do we lock the doors, and hide the keys?
Any views, and other ideas would be very much appreciated.
I have been looking at the huge amount of info on the web, and I don't suppose it will surprise anyone that my Mother in Law confidently breaks every "don't do" rule in the book. We simply don't seem to be able to get it through to her that she is making it worse for him as a person.
Unfortunately, he is met with a daily tirade of "I just told you that", "stop asking", and " I don't want a cup of tea, I just told you".
I know that it must be difficult living with someone who has this hideous condition day in and out, but it upsets my wife to see this happen to him, and it annoys me to see my wife, and my father in law subjected to the unnecessary mental anguish.
She has, however managed to take it to another level as well.
A while back, we arrived on a visit to find them both searching the whole house frantically. Obviously concerned, we asked what was wrong. Her response was " We went out this morning, so I told your father to hide his wallet".
We obviously asked if she had watched him do it, to which she replied "No I just told him to hide it, and now he can't remember where he put it".
I would never wish to make fun of anyone with such a terrible affliction, but you have to smile when an able minded person tells an Alzheimer's sufferer to hide something, without watching what they do!
We have tried several times to get the message across to her, but it just seems to fall on deaf ears. Is this a form of denial, or is it just ignorance of the facts?
Thank you for looking at this thread, and I look forward to any ideas that anyone may have.
Kind regards
Mark