Carers to change or not to change?

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Azay28, Feb 16, 2018.

  1. Azay28

    Azay28 Registered User

    Nov 21, 2015
    Hi everyone, its a while since my last post but I do keep dipping in and out. I have had carers in to mum for over a year now calling twice a week just to check shes eaten/ had meds etc and do a couple of other bits. How ever from the start I've had issues with them about sending a regular carer for both visits or even the same one Tuesday and another one Thurs but at least the same 2 people each week. it just doesn't seem to happen for long,a few weeks and then its all over the place again with different people. I'm not informed if someone is sick or away on holiday and there will be a different carer. I'm in regular contact with the coordinator via email/phone calls and receive plenty of apologies and assurances about this issue and others but they are still happening. Do I change them? The majority of staff do seem to be lovely people but I find all this checking up etc so stressful. The thought of a new company coming in to assess Mum's needs and dealing with the "but I don't need a carer" routine again. Better the devil you know and all that. At present mum does seem to have accepted that they will call midweek because when i tried to add a weekend visit recently she was adamant and said no"it's bad enough Mon-Fri". As she also has a cleaner visit once a week i thought maybe 3 people in a week was enough for her,even though she doesn't always remember them coming. Thoughts appreciated ;)
  2. Rosettastone57

    Rosettastone57 Registered User

    Oct 27, 2016
    My mother-in-law has carers all week but when she first started two years ago it was only for three visits initially and the care agency would send whoever was available on an ad hoc basis. The agency we use send out a roster in advance giving who's coming and the times but they do not inform us if anyone's going to be sick or who in fact is going to come instead because they don't feel they need to. The only time the agency speak to me if the carers are going to be very late or is an emergency matter. Now with a care visits all week she gets the same three or four people all week. I personally would stay with the devil you know. I'm afraid that my husband and I just ignored my mother in Law's protests about weekend visits and just organised it anyway she's self funding.
  3. gotanybiscuits?

    gotanybiscuits? Registered User

    Jan 8, 2017
    the beautiful south
    I had similar problems....
    I'm now using a small, local care co., and there is a much smaller pool of carers in rotation.
    At the moment (I'm on-site) we generally see two regulars (no thumbs-up smiley to put hereo_O) for Weekdays.
    Weekend cover can be random, likewise for sick/holiday time.
    When I was trying to run things from 2hrs away, with 2or3 visits a day(using a different company), things were chaos & un-reliable.
  4. Jessbow

    Jessbow Registered User

    If Someone has a carer 5 or 7 days they are more likely to get the same one, because your mother only having two days will get whoever can fit her in.
    If Jenny came on Tue and Thur to your Mum, what would she do Mon, wed and fri? Chances of your mothers calls dovetailing with someone else are slight
  5. myss

    myss Registered User

    Jan 14, 2018
    My Dad has a carer that comes round twice weekly and it is the same one person each day, each week. The only time that has changed is when the first one took long-term sick and we were told about this beforehand and about the second one who would take over from her.

    The second one is on holiday and the care manager arranged a third one to shadow her a week before she went so that my Dad got to know her. Other than that, there's been no changes.
  6. yak55

    yak55 Registered User

    Jun 15, 2015
    Everyone is different I know.
    My Mum could not live on her own with carers popping in.
    She has Alzheimer’s.
    She doesn’t like being alone.
    I feel guilty that she has now been in a wonderful care home for two weeks.
    I feel I’ve let her down and betrayed her.
    I sometimes think “could she have lived on her own?” But I know in reality she could not.
    She would if left the house and got lost.
    I feel I’ve taken away her liberty.
    The guilt will stay with me forever.
    I tried to do the best for mum but it was not enough.
    In the care Home there are people there 24/7 to care for her.
    She doesn’t sleep at night.
    She’s still my mum but different.
    Sometimes I doubt the Alzheimer’s diagnosis.
    Other times I know it’s true but I still can’t believe what’s happening to her.
    If I think about it too much it kills me inside.
    In the space of months I’ve lost my mum to Alzheimer’s and my dad died. Their home is up for sale and all of their possessions gone.
    I feel
    Like a lost child even though I’m 62 years old.
    I want my mum and dad back

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