MIL has continence issues which she vehemently denies if I attempt to discuss it with her. She soils her bedding and nightclothes and sometimes can have accidents in one or both bathrooms. Most recently she poo'd in my husbands car! We had a lovely carer supplied by the local council for 2 x 2 hourly visits weekly who understood the problem and MIL. This carer would pretend to go to the toilet and whilst out of the room she would strip off the bedding and put it in the wash without MIL noticing, so MIL was happy ,and she was clean and cared for. Despite 5 years post diagnosis she is very good verbally and socially. Unfortunately this carer has had to leave due to family responsibilities. The council carers supervisor has refused to add the changes that worked to the care plan, despite them working well for the last 18months with the previous carer. They say that was an 'individual agreement" and we cannot expect new carers to do the same. New carers are supposed to just ask if she needs anything doing - of course she says no as she believes she does it all herself. This just means extra visits for me to change the bedding as OH can't cope with this.
They totally believe MIL's confabulations that she is not incontinent and needs no help with laundry. They believe she has competency to decide re hygiene despite the fact that she has only changed and washed her bedding a couple of times in the last 5 years. When I first started caring for her the bedding was so rank I thew it away and replaced with new. Initially she was my only problem but now mum also has alzheimers and dad (89) is blind and deaf and I'm feeling overwhelmed at times.
All I want is for MIL's carers to believe me so they do their job and I have some time to care for my parents. I pointed out that MIL cannot possibly have competency to decide re washing her bedding when she thinks she does it herself every week. The person on the phone seemed inclined to believe me but the councils solution is to have a care review with MIL present!!! How on earth do I get the care she needs and discuss the actual situation in front of her? MIL just thinks I am lying and she tells everyone to ignore anything I say as its nothing to do with me. At the moment I am "HER" , according to MIL she would not recognise me if she sees me as I never visit , and when I go with OH he is constantly telling her I am doing things he has asked me to do to keep her calm.
I would withdraw totally from this situation if OH did not need help and support.
They totally believe MIL's confabulations that she is not incontinent and needs no help with laundry. They believe she has competency to decide re hygiene despite the fact that she has only changed and washed her bedding a couple of times in the last 5 years. When I first started caring for her the bedding was so rank I thew it away and replaced with new. Initially she was my only problem but now mum also has alzheimers and dad (89) is blind and deaf and I'm feeling overwhelmed at times.
All I want is for MIL's carers to believe me so they do their job and I have some time to care for my parents. I pointed out that MIL cannot possibly have competency to decide re washing her bedding when she thinks she does it herself every week. The person on the phone seemed inclined to believe me but the councils solution is to have a care review with MIL present!!! How on earth do I get the care she needs and discuss the actual situation in front of her? MIL just thinks I am lying and she tells everyone to ignore anything I say as its nothing to do with me. At the moment I am "HER" , according to MIL she would not recognise me if she sees me as I never visit , and when I go with OH he is constantly telling her I am doing things he has asked me to do to keep her calm.
I would withdraw totally from this situation if OH did not need help and support.