Carers Assessment

[hendy]

Hello to all
If it is means tested then we wont be entitled to anything. I was thinking the kind of help that would make a difference, would be things like during the school holidays being able to take the children to a play centre or some such thing, so I could spend more time with Dad. Also when emergencies happen, to be able to not worry about child care and to be able to visit consultants, attend review meeings etc There is no doubt these events are likely to happen more often as dads condition becomes even more advanced. Does anyone have experience of this kind of support being available? Also some emotional support(counselling) of some kind might be also helpful? I did have some counselling a few years ago, I had only one session and felt that it didn't provide me with the help I thought I would get. I think the circumstances were too much even for the counsellor to cope with!!
bye for now
hendy

 

[Margarita]

If it is means tested then we wont be entitled to anything. I was thinking the kind of help that would make a difference, would be things like during the school holidays being able to take the children to a play centre or some such thing, so I could spend more time with Dad. Also when emergencies happen, to be able to not worry about child care and to be able to visit consultants, attend review meeings etc

Really your taking about child care, in your area ? would that not be your local authority that would proved that , as I don't think carer assessment cover that . even thought it does seem to be needed .

is your father going to be going back to live in his own home or with you ?

As I never new a carer could have an assessment done on they need , while the person with dementia is in a full time care home

 

[hendy]

Hi Margarita
No Dad doesnt live with us, he's in hospital at the moment. The childcare situation, is that we have childcare organised during the school term. But during the hoidays it can be problematic. Child care organisations, tend to want regular business, not adhoc, which is what would be really helpful. When my youngest was very little, we used a child minder and she was great and very flexible. Unfortunately she doesnt do it anymore.
I think what I need to do is look about for a childminder who is prepared to take my two on a flexible, adhoc basis. A bit of a tall order really. We would be quite happy to pay for the care, I was hoping ss might be able to find a suitable provider perhaps??
take care
hendy

 

[Clive]

I think I must have been very lucky. I asked for Respite Care and actually got some.

When mum was diagnosed with AD I was advised to have the Social Services Assessments. The Social Services lady just told me mum would have to pay for everything; so I might as well go to a Private Agency as SS were short of Carers. SS gave me some telephone numbers to ring.

Eventually I bit the bullet and rang one agency. The lady came from the Agency, which was an offshoot of a religious / ethnic charity, to assess our requirements. I explained that what I really really wanted was for someone to sit with mum so that I knew she was both safe and occupied. The result was that I was allocated two hours of Respite Care which was free of charge.

As time went by our requirements for Care increased until we were taking 20 hours a week of Care, of which 8 were free of charge “Respite Care”.

I think it is a case of being in the right place at the right time and saying the right words. Do have an Assessment and ask for what you want.

Clive

 

[Skye]

Hendy, I'm pretty sure you couldn't use your carers' assessment to pay for childcare -- at least, I've never heard of it, though someone may prove me wrong.

It might be worth ringing SS though and ask if they have a list of approved childminders. they do provide them as cover for parents with disabled children, and some might operate privately as well. Or it might be worth asking at the local library.

 

[lesmisralbles]

I must not be putting my case

What we want. Ron and I is to choose who we have to look after him.
I, Barbara, do not want respite. Been there, done that. With other relatives. Horrible. I am his carer. I am his wife, and I am the one who loves him. You all know, LOVE.
But I also know, I will CRY in the toilet, hall, car. No one see's me, or for that matter hear me. And let us be honest, no one, unless they are in this situation will care.
Barb X

 

[hendy]

Hi Hazel
Thanks I think you're right. Its given me something to think about. I will make some enquiries.

Dear Barb
Its a very pessimistic thought, but you're right. We want to cry all the time really, but I feel nobody does really care that much, they are sympathetic yes. But as carers I think we do 'cry alone'. Thank god for TP, because we all understand about crying in cars or toilets. We've all been there.
take care
hendy

 

[lesmisralbles]

Thank's Hendy

laugh and the world laugh's with you
Cry, and you cry alone.
Not with TP
Thank's to all of you, and I mean it, Thank's
Barb XX

 

[TinaT]

I know just what you both mean. Reaching the depths of despair is my speciality, don't you know? I find it very hard when speaking to other people, friends, relatives, to put on a 'brave' face and pretend that all is well in my world, when the reality is, I'm breaking into pieces. No point in telling them the truth of my situation, but as you say, thank God for TP and the wonderful, caring people who understand.

xxTinaT

 

[Norman]

Hi Karen
Does this make it any clearer?
Norman


http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/factsheet/418

 

[Margarita]

It might be worth ringing SS though and ask if they have a list of approved childminders.

yes that sounds like a good
idea .

as social services do have a list of register child minders .

As they are the one that regulate all the child minders, they register to them SS .

when my children where younger I was a register child minders, I had to go on a training course run by social services. This was in the 80s.

 

[heartbroken]

What we want. Ron and I is to choose who we have to look after him.
I, Barbara, do not want respite. Been there, done that. With other relatives. Horrible. I am his carer. I am his wife, and I am the one who loves him. You all know, LOVE.
But I also know, I will CRY in the toilet, hall, car. No one see's me, or for that matter hear me. And let us be honest, no one, unless they are in this situation will care.
Barb X

In that case Barb Direct payments would be good for you. My step mum get payments to pay me to go in and help look after her. you do have to keep accounts but they are easy to do and there is lots of help if you need it. we wasn't means tested to get it either, dad and Edna didn't won't a stranger in their home and felt better doing it this way, it could be worth you taking to your sw about it.

 

[lesmisralbles]

Wouldn't you know, letter today - he is ill the SW

Informed today the SW for Ron is ill.
But given an emergency tel number.
Well,we have not got an emergency. But I think I am going round the bend with lack of sleep. I cannot give over control of my Ron to people I do not know. How do I know they will treat him right ? That is my problem. I cannot trust. Seen far to much with other relatives who have had Alzheimer's.
Barb

 

[hendy]

Dear Barb
You are going to have to trust somebody with Ron at some point tho Barb? Its so hard to find reassurance about anything to do with this vile disease.
take care
hendy

 

[lesmisralbles]

hendy,
you are right. But, I cannot let go, cannot. I look at his face, and the love I have for him. Many moon's ago, I said I had to kiss a lot of frog's before I met my prince - and that is what he still is to me - my Prince.
Barb X

 

[hendy]

Dear Barb
Your Ron is so lucky to have you. I hope you can find 'suitable' help soon.
take care
hendy