1. Miss Marple

    Miss Marple Registered User

    May 10, 2018
    17
    #1 Miss Marple, Jul 17, 2019
    Last edited: Jul 17, 2019
    Hi all

    Introduced a carer this week. We are starting slowly at 3 hours a week. I'm finding it a bit hard to relinquish a bit of my responsibility at the moment. How can I make this easier for myself as mum is generally accepting of it?

    Secondly, any tips on her not losing the famous keys in the house? I have no idea where she puts them but they miraculously turn up eventually. However, I spent over a hour looking to no avail which is somewhat stressful, just glad we have spares!!
     
  2. Bunpoots

    Bunpoots Registered User

    Apr 1, 2016
    2,806
    Nottinghamshire
    Hi Miss Marple,

    I know what you mean about it being difficult to get used to carers but, if you’ve found the right ones, it’ll soon get easier - it did for me anyway.

    When my dad kept losing his keys, or leaving them in the lock, I changed his front door lock for a thumb turn lock so they a key didn’t have to be used from the inside of the door so that he could get out and answer the door without his keys (I later had to change it back so he couldn’t go walkabout in the early hours). This was on a modern UPVC door.

    I don’t know how to stop her losing them though. I hid most of dad’s and had extras cut so I could always find one..
     
  3. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    5,738
    Female
    Scotland
    Both we and my SIL have key safes for a spare set of keys. These have proved invaluable. Last week she was taken into hospital with pneumonia and I went down to her flat to clean it. By the time I had spent 2 1/2 hours and thrown out several bags of rubbish i was ready to go home pushing my husband in his wheelchair - problem, no keys. I was too tired to think by that stage and used the ones in the key safe. Overnight I realised I must have thrown the keys out with the last bag of paper. Back to her flat and into the bins and yes the keys were there.
     
  4. jaymor

    jaymor Volunteer Moderator

    Jul 14, 2006
    12,400
    Female
    England
    There are key finder fobs that can be attached to a key or key ring. A simple wireless control will locate the lost keys. No idea of the range of these. Amazon have a large selection, I’ve never used one but have needed one many times in the past. Perhaps I should have one now because I’m dreadful for putting my car keys down just about anywhere.
     
  5. Sirena

    Sirena Registered User

    Feb 27, 2018
    1,414
    Female
    As jaymor has said, you can get key fobs which let you find the key. As long as you can also find the locator control of course, which your mother would probably 'hide', possibly in the bin! So you would need to put the control somewhere she couldn't find it. And you would also need to depend on your mother not removing the key fob ("what's this? don't recognise it, so I'll remove it").

    I never entirely solved the problem of my mother's lost keys. They were always found eventually (under her pillow was a good place to look). So in the meantime, the care agency kept a set of keys at the office, a neighbour had a set, and we also installed a keysafe. So the quick easy option would be a keysafe to keep a spare set, which will give you time to find the originals.

    She had a Yale lock so she could always get out without the keys (which of course then meant she left the house without the keys and lock herself out ... hence the multiple spare sets available).
     
  6. northumbrian_k

    northumbrian_k Registered User

    Mar 2, 2017
    709
    Male
    Newcastle
    I used a key finder/locator fob to find my wife's keys and bag (which is where the keys most often were found). The one I had did not need a separate control unit. I attached one fob to my set of keys and a second one to hers. By pressing a numbered button I could then search for her keys. A flashing light and beeping sound told me that they were nearby, but the fact that they were in her bag often muffled the sound so it was still a bit of a hunt. The only problem was that the battery needed to be checked and changed. If it had gone flat then the key finder was of no use.
     
  7. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    13,478
    Ireland
    What is it with keys?? My husband lost a large bunch of keys years ago, somewhere at home or in the garden. House keys, car keys (don't ask me why he needed keys for the car. He hadn't driven in 20 years, and had no license!) keys of his shed..... And to this day, I've never found them! Had to get another spare car key cut, and I've had the door locks changed anyway over the years. But it beats me where his keys went!
     
  8. RosettaT

    RosettaT Registered User

    Sep 9, 2018
    193
    Female
    Mid Lincs
    My hubby used to lose/hide keys, they would disappear for weeks then I would find them hanging up on the hook. When I asked where he found them he would always say, I haven't they've always been there.
    The worse was when one of the car keys went walk about, it was missing for 3mths. I bought another £125 eek! + £25 to have it coded. Guess what..... within 4hrs of being back home the prodigal key returned and was sat on the side next to the kettle.:confused:

    That's when I got key finders.
     
  9. jugglingmum

    jugglingmum Registered User

    Jan 5, 2014
    5,021
    Female
    Chester

    Lots of good suggestions re keys. As mum is accepting of it, can you plan what you are doing whilst the carers are there. It depends what time of day they are coming. You want your mum to rely on the carers as well as you so I'd plan to keep out of the way whilst they are here. You could do some gardening so you are out of the house, or go to the shops or just a walk round the block. Or even have a book to sit and read somewhere out of the way when the carers are there.

    After a while you will feel more settled with it.
     
  10. Miss Marple

    Miss Marple Registered User

    May 10, 2018
    17
    Thank you for all your suggestions. I think the fob is the way forward as key safe is in place. There's a smart fob out there so will check that out. Yes I will have to use the carer time as time out for me and initially keep super busy. Plenty of weeds in my garden so I can start there! Thank you all x
     

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