Carers and Employment

[swithun]

Hi,

I'm really keen to hear about people's experiences juggling caring and work.
Did you have to give up your employment to care?
Did you have to reduce your hours?
Did flexible working and employer understanding allow you to continue?
If you experience of combining the two, what helped you to do this?

It would be fantastic to hear peoples' thoughts on this!

Thank you

 

[Brucie]

Moderator note:

Hi swithun

I have moved your thread into students/research.

Your topic is an important one however we are defining a policy with this sort of research, and this is how it stands at present:

Please will you send to talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk:

1. a short synopsis of your study

and

2. a copy of your university’s/institute’s ethics approval form.

We will then make our own decisions as to whether we feel the research is appropriate to Talking Point, a carer's forum, or not.

Many thanks, in anticipation.

 

[Tender Face]

Hi Swithun - I would be happy to help (have sent you PM).

Having once given up paid employment to 'care' and now trying to juggle work and caring commitments once again I hope I might have some useful input for you.

I personally believe this 'topic' is of great relevance to a carers forum - the 'lot' of working carers I am sure is as varied as any individual case of dementia .... I think it might be very useful for carers to share experiences whether it is in pursuit of studies or not ..... I don't think I have seen 'Employment rights' aired on TP before .... could be very useful ....... I guess the only reason I haven't raised it before myself is that I feel very fortunate at present with my employers' flexibility around my caring responsibilities ..... but I am sure there are many others not so lucky who would benefit from shared learning.

Regards, Karen

 

[Brucie]

Hi Karen

I absolutely agree, and the Alzheimer's Society is aware of the benefits of research into many areas, of course.

The Society is also aware that, on a public forum such as TP, we all have to be very careful, since we have no idea, in reality, of the identity of people who post here.

Universities and colleges should necessarily have rules on ethics for their students and staff, and these should of course be implemented by them for any research.

I think it is only sensible to post in more detail the study in question, at the time of posting, otherwise how can members judge to what they may be replying?

Of course, communication using private messaging is totally acceptable, though even then, I believe each member doing so needs to remind themself of the nature of Internet forums, and the sense of learning as much as possible about any situation and person.

Once swithun has posted more information, I would wish to pass on my own experiences of 10 years of balancing my work with caring for Jan.

 

[Tender Face]

Brucie - my ignorance here .. and something I would be glad if you could explain ......

If Swithun had posted as a 'carer' who was perhaps having difficulties with an employer, rather than as a student ..... what difference should it/could it make to how people respond?
Who is to know how many students or others are scouring the forum at any time in pursuit of 'research' for professional rather than personal use? If Swithun has publicly declared (on personal profile) that they are asking the question for research purposes, does not that make them more 'bona fide' than 'Joe Bloggs' (with apologies to Joe Bloggs) who might pose as a carer or sufferer to gain insight from the forum?

I am either totally missing something here or being completely naive ...... (as well as paranoid!!!!! )

Thanks, Karen,

 

[amberence]

f/o Moderator, Alzheimer's Forum

Registered as new member on the forum, but unable to start a new thread. Able to reply to threads, but nothing shows or displayed to start a thread. Please delete or move this thread once seen and query answered.

Thanks.

Keith.

 

[Grannie G]

http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/talkingpoint/site/scripts/documents_info.php?categoryID=6&documentID=45

This link should help you post a new Thread.

 

[Brucie]

Although people include a fair amount of personal detail in their profile, not everyone looks there.

Indeed we feel sometimes that some new members post a heap of detail in their profile in the belief that everyone will automatically see it, a bit like a post can be seen.

If someone new is posting, no matter what their status, it is good to explain why they are posting.

Not mandatory of course, but it helps those who might respond.

There is of course a difference between a carer posting to ask for help, and a researcher [of any status] who does so for a project.

People who post their information on this forum normally do so in the expectation that their audience will be others in a similar situation. They don't post as part of an ongoing research project, where their words or TP identities may be made public at some time, if appropriate rules are not observed, understood or even known about.

Researchers should have ethical rules by which they work, and those rules are to protect them, and anyone who helps them. For a student to have the rules is important because universities are in the business of teaching the right way to approach whatever topic is being studied.

There is also a key difference between a member of Talking Point, and a Moderator. A Moderator has some degree of responsibility for the membership generally, and in protecting their interests, whether they be carers or students. They have a wider remit.

 

[Grommit]

Hi Tender Face,

I also am lucky enough to work for a Company which has both understanding for and acceptance of my present circumstances.

However, because of that, I feel the need to go the "extra mile" at work. Getting there early, leaving late, reduced lunch break, taking work home with me etc.

It might just be a "me" thing but it would be interesting to find out how other people feel about it.

The bottom line is, of course, that most Companies are in business to make profits and while that is taking place,no problem.

I am under no illusion about who will be the first to go if necessary.

 

[Brucie]

Methinks that 'good' companies may be a bit like 'good' care homes - that is, there are more of them about than one might be led to believe by media and scuttlebutt.

If this conversation brings that fact out then it is all to the good.

I feel the need to go the "extra mile" at work

yes I recognise that feeling well.

I am under no illusion about who will be the first to go if necessary.

with a caring company, there is often room for negotiation of the terms of leaving, for an employee they value.

My company was exemplary for the best part of ten years, but then the MD's father had had dementia and he knew what his mother went through.

 

[Tender Face]

Thanks, Brucie (will put my paranoia back to bed now! )

Grommitt/Brucie/anyone else .... - I wonder how many 'extra miles' carers do unpaid for their employers? Because you never know when you might next need to take leave at a moment's notice ...... because you are going to have to ask to switch your hours AGAIN .... to accommodate an appointment ........ to attend to something ......less transitionally, to fit around day care plans perhaps? ...... so you bring work home to complete, you claim a lunch break when all you actually did was gag on a sandwich trying to complete something at your desk ......you always try to 'bank' time in case you need to beg a favour? ....... yes, it's nice to have their flexibility - but you have to be very bendy yourself too!

Karen, x

 

[Brucie]

you have to be very bendy yourself too

and isn't that a great description of how a carer has to be outside work too!

Maybe that is one description of a carer vs non carer:

Carer: bends themselves to fit circumstance and needs of cared for

Non carer: inability to bend requires circumstances to rearrange themselves or through lack of personal experience expects that to happen in all situations

Now we would all like to be/have been in the situation of the non carer - all help falls into place automatically, all outcomes are positive outcomes.

Where the caring kicks in is when that doesn't happen, and where the carer needs to do things they never thought they would have to or even be capable of.

 

[AJay]

Hi Swithun

I'm happy to help also as I've had 2 very different experiences from different employers if this would be of any use? One local authority whose carer policies only covered people with children and my present employer whose policies at first sight looked pretty inflexible but who have been absolutely brilliant.

Let me know, I'm sure I could go on for ages!

AJay

 

[Tender Face]

and where the carer needs to do things they never thought they would have to or even be capable of.

If I ever spotted a cue for a rousing 'pat on the back' for every carer here - this is one of them ....... working or not (as in paid employment - we obviously all work hard at 'caring' in some capacity or other).... the 'carer' has one advantage over the 'non-carer' ....;. that they might find and utilise inner strengths and skills which otherwise may have been left dormant forever .......

Not much of a silver lining amongst the storm clouds, but one to hold onto nonetheless .....

Karen, x