• Expert Q&A: Rare dementias - Tues 3 March, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of rare dementias. It will be hosted by Nikki and Seb from Rare Dementia Support. If you have any questions about rare dementias, they will be here to answer them on Tuesday 3 March between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

carer s in my home


Registered User
Dec 22, 2005
hi my name is wendy my hubby john has had ad for 3 mabe 4 years things are getting hard john needs a lot of care as i work 12 hr shifts in a care home i have been told today we have got to have cares come to my house 7 days a week wich i will have to pay for hopefully i will get a discount dose any body no how much it will cost i hate the tharght of them comming but what can i do if i pack in my job i will loose the house my kids still live at home the yougest 16 i feel so down dont no what s next


Registered User
Jan 4, 2006
Hiya Wendy,
Sorry you are feeling so low tonight. Social Services will do an assessment of your income and your outgoings and your husband's requirements. Take all the help that you can get to support your husband - you cannot do it on your own. You are doing brilliantly working long hours, raising your family and caring for your husband. Remember Norman's motto, day by day. Hopefully you will feel better in the morning.

Nutty Nan

Registered User
Nov 2, 2003
Dear Wendy,
You sound so desperate - I am sure there is some help out there for you!
Unfortunately, I don't know what 'laws' apply where you live, but I will tell you how it works for us.

First of all, who told you that you'd need carers in seven days a week? Have you and your husband had assessments (separate for patient and carer)? Has anyone explored alternatives with you, such as Day Centres, Befrienders, etc?

Once the amount of care needed is assessed, your husband will have a financial assessment. In our case, he had to declare all his income, savings and expenses. If his savings are below a certain threshold (I think it is around £12000, but you need to check this figure out: the Citizen Advice Bureau would probably be able to help you with this, or even your Care Worker), he will qualify for funded care, which means you will not have to pay for it. This is obviously very important if you are working hard to keep a roof over your head and also to feed your family.

I felt just like you: I could not imagine having someone else in our home to look after my husband while I went out to work. But I have got used to it, and I recognise that it is the best compromise for us both!

To begin with, we had someone in for an hour a day to help hubby with lunch, a drink, and to make sure he was ok. Over a period of 6 months our situation deteriorated considerably, and we now have a care package of 20 hours per week (as assessed and funded by Social Services). In addition to that, our daughters pop in and help out while I am at work, and occasionally, I use a private care agency to cover an extra hour here and there .....

We have a lovely CPN (Community Psychiatric Nurse) who visits every fortnight and knows that before long, we may need to ask for the care package to be reviewed in the hope that they may add a few hours.

Very important: there are other financial benefits you need to explore.
1. Does your husband receive Attendance Allowance? (You can apply on his behalf if he can't do it, and a CPN or Care Worker should be able to help you with this).
2. Have you applied for Council Tax Relief? You should get 25% off - every little helps.

I hope this has given you a few tips and a little bit of hope. You are facing endless forms and a heap of beaurocratic red tape, but it's worth it in the end!
Please keep us posted, and 'good luck'.


Registered User
Mar 7, 2004
Hi Wendy, hope you feel a bit calmer this evening.

Our situation is that Lionel has to pay for his own care :too much money at present. So he pays for 1.1/2 hours care each morning (7 days a week) to help me wash and dress, toilet, and breakfast him. This costs approx £150. per week.

He does go to day centre 3 times a week, at a cost of £66.00 per month.

Do claim all your allowances, and enlist the support of your Social worker, or CPN

Best of luck,


Registered User
Oct 15, 2005
Hi Wendy

Have pm'ed you.

Carers have justed started coming to my Mum & Dad's and although Dad was 'sniffy' about it before they started, he's now a convert!
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Registered User
Feb 6, 2006
Hi Wendy

Take a look at the Sheffield CC website. Heres a link to their charging policy for social services http://www.sheffield.gov.uk/safe--sound/social-services/getting-help-from-social-services/help-for-adults/charges-for-non-residential-care

The links at the bottom of the page are also useful and the second one gives the actual hourly charges for home care.

Have to say that it is hugely complicated much more so than our local authority. We are in Scotland and effectively my MIL had to complete a one page document of income and certain expenditure. On the plus side for you, the hourly home care charge of £3 is about one third of what my MIL is charged! She doesn't pay for all the 15 hours of care she has been assessed as needing though as the local authority pay the difference between what it actually costs and what she has been assessed as being able to pay.

Once the ball starts rolling it won't be half as daunting as it sounds.


Registered User
Feb 6, 2006
Just wanted to add that we have applied for Disability LIving Allowance for my MIL - haven't heard yet whether she qualifies but the SW thought she had a good chance of getting it. This would help offset the cost of her care package.

As you are posting on the younger person's board is this something that your husband is receiving already if under 65? If not, it is definitely worth pursuing a claim. (As I understand it, DLA is for people under 65, Attendance Allowance is for those over 65).


Registered User
Dec 22, 2005
cares in my home

hi all thanks for the advice john goes to day care 5 days a week from next week dont no when the cares will come in has we dont have savings i think it could be free by sound of things i hope so john gets middl rate DLA my socal worker says that money will have to pay for his care not his share of the morgage but i will look in to it feeling a lot better today just knowing i can get advive on hear helps alot

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