Carer for my Dad with Dementia

[Noonie]

I am really struggling to keep up with my Dad’s needs. He has Alzheimer’s that has been very well managed for about 4 years but for the past 3-4 months it has become progressively worse.
I have cared for him for 10 years and I am only 34 now so I have spent some of my most important years caring for him which I was always happy to do but I just don’t think I can do it anymore. I have recently been diagnosed with early menopause so I am trying to cope with accepting that as well as the physical and emotional symptoms of adjusting to HRT and realising that I have missed the opportunity to have my own family. Things are just really hard at the moment

 

[Cat27]

Welcome to TP @Noonie
You do have a lot to cope with. Do you have any help from carers?
Please keep posting as you’ll get lots of support here.

 

[Noonie]

I have no help at all, I’ve been doing it on my own because I was able to but I just don’t feel like I can anymore. I’ve tried getting help from social services but they never get back to me either

 

[Bunpoots]

Welcome from me too @Noonie . Are you still living with your dad? That does seem to make it harder to get social services to offer support. If I were in your shoes I’d phone again and tell them I was suffering from carer breakdown. Tell them what you’re going through yourself and say you can’t cope with your dad’s needs anymore. Say he’s a “vulnerable adult” and that you know they have a “duty of care” to look after him.

Keep posting here, as Cat27 says, there are people who will help support you through this.

 

[Grannie G]

Hello @Noonie

Have you seen your own GP? If not that would be my first port of call. You may have spoken to them about your early menopause and HRT but have you discussed your caring overload.

It really is unfair you have spent 10 years of your young adulthood as a primary carer with no help at all. However sincere the love you have for your father it is too much to expect from you.

Unfortunately, in life, if you don`t ask you won't get and I imagine you may have not been persistent enough with Social Services.

Please see your GP again and tell them clearly how you feel.

Stay with us here on DTP. There will be good advice from people who are more up to date with procedures than I am.

 

[Izzy]

Welcome from me too @Noonie.

I agree with Cat and Bunpoots - keep going back to Social Services until you get somewhere. As already said ‘duty of care’ and ’vulnerable adult’ and ’carer breakdown’ are words to emphasise. You might find this link useful but do keep posting here.

The care needs assessment: support for people with dementia

This page looks at how a person with dementia can get a care assessment, who does an assessment, how they are carried out, who makes the decision, and tips for making the most of the care needs assessment. It also explains the eligibility criteria.

www.alzheimers.org.uk