Carehome Visits

anxious annie

Registered User
Jan 2, 2019
794
0
It's so hard @Quizbunny to keep up this fight. It really shouldn't be this hard to see our loved ones. I find it hard to believe that some of these managers/ owners really have their residents' best interests at heart, all I can think is that they are protecting funding. I know many people on Rights for Residents campaign group are frightened their loved one will be evicted if they say too much, but really there is enough evidence to show that mental health has been deteriorating due to this 9 month ban on meaningful visits. You could email with quotes from the new government guidance which says indoor visits with hugs and hand holding should go ahead with testing and ppe/ good infection control. IT certainly is not a decision to be made by the care home staff, irrelevant whether they are just shopping once a week! Once the homes have received the lateral flow tests and done training (online, pretty quick by all accounts) , if they still refuse it is time to get your local public health department to intervene. If you are on Facebook and haven't done so already please join John's Campaign and Rights for Residents. There is lots of support and suggestions of what to say/ argue etc.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,437
0
North West
Sending hugs @Kellyr @Palerider @Louise7 It really is so hard, and Christmas just makes it so much worse. I can imagine how upsetting it must be to visit behind the prison screen. Mum's home have already hinted about the tests being a lot of work and will take up staff time. I hope they get funding from the Government to support this, but if they don't use these tests for indoor visits at the beginning of January I will be emailing and phoning the local Public Health department quoting the new Government guidance.
"The local DPH and director of adult social services (DASS) have an important role in supporting care homes to ensure visiting happens safely , unless there is good evidence to take a more restrictive approach in a particular care home"
I would be asking them for good evidence to say the home is right not to do visits indoors, and not having the staff is an excuse , not a good reason as many others are doing this.
I shall be in campaign mode again !!

Thanks @anxious annie, I have stopped for this week and had to turn my attention elsewhere, but I will back to writing letters again and pointing out the disparities that are clear to the local authority and DPH mums home comes under
 

Lone Wolf

Registered User
Sep 20, 2020
126
0
It's so hard @Quizbunny to keep up this fight. It really shouldn't be this hard to see our loved ones. I find it hard to believe that some of these managers/ owners really have their residents' best interests at heart, all I can think is that they are protecting funding. I know many people on Rights for Residents campaign group are frightened their loved one will be evicted if they say too much, but really there is enough evidence to show that mental health has been deteriorating due to this 9 month ban on meaningful visits. You could email with quotes from the new government guidance which says indoor visits with hugs and hand holding should go ahead with testing and ppe/ good infection control. IT certainly is not a decision to be made by the care home staff, irrelevant whether they are just shopping once a week! Once the homes have received the lateral flow tests and done training (online, pretty quick by all accounts) , if they still refuse it is time to get your local public health department to intervene. If you are on Facebook and haven't done so already please join John's Campaign and Rights for Residents. There is lots of support and suggestions of what to say/ argue etc.


I have heard nothing from Ann's nursing home about visitor testing, but care homes are supposed to be receiving their test kits in December and the online registration portal becomes available tomorrow, as per guidance dated 8 December issued by The Department of Health and Social Care. See the following quote from the Introduction to that guidance.


"The Department of Health and Social Care (DHSC) will order test kits for your care home in December and send them to you automatically.

Please do not commence testing until 14 December 2020, when the online registration portal becomes available."


 

Attachments

  • Guidance__Care home LFD testing of visitors guidance__Published 8 December 2020.pdf
    126.1 KB · Views: 38
Last edited:

anxious annie

Registered User
Jan 2, 2019
794
0
I think the tests can be delivered anytime up to December 18th @Lone Wolf and sadly mum's home have already said this won't give them enough time to set up indoor visits with contact for Christmas. I think it's a bit of the manager now has another excuse for delaying opening up the care home as the guidance you have attached tells care homes to start getting ready and setting things up ready for rolling out the tests. It's not going to happen before Christmas, but I do hope so for the New Year. I hope you get a visit soon and we all have more contact in 2021
 

Lone Wolf

Registered User
Sep 20, 2020
126
0
I have had two phone calls today with Ann's blanket - in the morning and again in the evening. When I phone, the carer puts the phone on speaker, takes it into her room and then leaves it with her, which I prefer because otherwise it tends to be a conversation with the carer, not Ann. However, because her cognition has declined so much over the 9 months of lockout, both times today, as soon as the carer left the room Ann wrapped the phone up in her blanket. And despite keeping the call going for about 25 minutes each time, and hearing the phone being bumped about occasionally, Ann could not hear me or respond and I could not hear her other than very faintly a couple of times. I normally phone at least every couple of days but always every Saturday and Sunday because I know that the nursing home is always short staffed on weekends and I just like to hear her voice to know that she is OK. But the longer this lockout endures, the more Ann's cognition declines and the more difficult it is to speak with her. This is just one small story among so many about the myriad and devastating emotional impacts of this continuing inhumane visitor lockout. And I cannot accept that the low risks of carefully controlled key visitors outweigh the certain (yes certain, not just risk) impacts upon the quality of life not just for the care home residents but also for their family from this continuing enforced separation.
 

Kellyr

Registered User
Aug 8, 2020
174
0
I had a very uncomfortable conversation over the phone with the manager of mums CH yesterday. Basically she is not willing to allow any family members into the home because “ the staff will not allow it, we are doing everything to keep COVID out “. Apparently the staff do nothing other than shop once a week and spend no time with their families. The Pod that has been talked about for months is now ready to be rolled out next week, but as it is a roofless bodge up construction in the conservatory everyone who uses it will need to be dripping in PPE. Mum has poor vision barely any speech and needs contact to have any chance of a meaningful visit, so this is definitely not going to end well. In fact I really don’t think I can face it.
@Quizbunny the pod at my Mums home is a fully sealed booth and we still have to wear full ppe! These rules feel like theyre designed to wear pple down which is really shocking. The manager rolled out the old chestnut the other day ' we're keeping your mum safe from covid'. I was so upset I said 'for what?! Stopping her from seeing most of her family. What life is it..whats the point?!' It really feels like a prison visit and its the only time Ive got upset through all of this. Hope you cope 🤞
 

Lynmax

Registered User
Nov 1, 2016
750
0
No sign of tests or vaccines at my Mums care home but they do have a visiting pod which we can book. Only one household is allowed in it at a time even though it is totally sealed with an intercom for talking so no possible infection risk. I am in a support bubble with my sister as I live on my own and she sometimes has to help me due to my reduced mobility. But they will not accept support bubbles as one household, no idea why.

I am going to try and get a slot but I am not looking forward to going on my own, it’s much easier with two people to keep the conversation going.

Time for a conversation with the manager I feel!
 

Lone Wolf

Registered User
Sep 20, 2020
126
0
I think that because the care home visitor lockout has been going for so long now, care homes have become accustomed to having no visitors. Consequently many care home managers and staff now seem to have little or no understanding of just how devastating the continuing emotional impact is upon residents' family members. And the longer this lockout endures, the worse the emotional impacts become, aggravated by so many dashed hopes of meaningful visits recommencing any time soon.
 

anxious annie

Registered User
Jan 2, 2019
794
0
I'm afraid I have nothing new to add , but just wanted to check in with all my fellow sufferers who , like me, are still being denied a visit. I hear of people planning to get together with different households in their Christmas Bubble, and some who intend to "stretch this" too. I imagine some care home staff will be mixing households, and potentially returning to work with covid infection, and then the residents will suffer again. It makes me sad to think of my window visit with mum next weekend, especially as we had been promised indoor visits with contact. If some homes can manage to open up, this should be possible for all, it shouldn't be a lottery. I feel that no one in power, home manager, DPH, government and MPs etc is listening. The home manager seems to close her ears to anything she doesn't agree with, and seems to think allowing window visits (pretty useless as they are) is doing family a huge favour.
Sorry for moaning, just feeling pretty down today.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
3,141
0
Southampton
they did those pilot schemes in devon and cornwall as well as a home in winchester in hampshire that opened up after rapid test. they said it would be rolled out to rest of the country. why has that not been done yet? its wrong to play with precious lives like this. they are more likely to get infections if they are down because they cant see their families.
 

Wildflowerlady

Registered User
Sep 30, 2019
425
0
I am so sorry to hear how many people are still struggling to see their loved ones in CH's. Dad has only been in the CH for three weeks and we must be lucky as they are now using the tests so we are able to see dad. I don't have another visit to dad now until 29th December and he has gone downhill and poorly with UTI and Oral Thrush caused by the antibiotics so I do wonder what he will be like two weeks from now. I realise how lucky we are to have been able to see dad and can't begin to imagine how I would feel if had been weeks and months as it is for many. Visit was in a room there was no separation or screens so my only concern is that hopefully anyone visiting is definitely free of covid and it doesn't get into the home.
 

tdb

New member
Dec 14, 2020
1
0
Hi everyone. I’ve only just joined the forum so I might be asking what’s already been asked before but are there any others who have loved ones in a dementia care home who are denied visits of any sort. Indoor, outside or window even if they currently do not have any positive Covid cases.
My Mum is in a council run home and during summer we had a few outside visits (zipped up in a tent ?) but only weather permitting. They stopped & indoor visits with screens etc were meant to happen. They never have! No outdoor visits now as no tent & I wouldn’t want her dragged outside anyway.
I got to see her on an indoor visit last week but only because it was a police interview as she has been physically assaulted by an agency worker who is now under investigation. I can’t even begin to explain how awful that’s been.
This week again we’re back to no visits of any kind as in spite of being a very grand new build with all modern facilities they cannot set up even a window visit as there’s no safety catches on the ground floor windows. I assume they think I’m going to steal her out of the window or fling it open and breathe all over her !!!! Needless to say my offer of buying and fitting catches was declined. Is this the only home doing no visits of any kind or are there others.
I’m ready for the fight but I want to be well informed beforehand. None of this makes any sense..........
 

anxious annie

Registered User
Jan 2, 2019
794
0
Hi @tdb , so sorry to hear of your mum being physically assaulted, such a distressing situation. I hope the home is supporting you and your mum with this.

There are several threads on this site about visits during covid, which you may find helpful to read.
If you do Facebook there are two fantastic campaign groups John's Campaign and Rights for Residents. Members are very supportive. You can also access support in the way of advice/ documents/ template letters to email to your MP, care home, local Director of Public Health etc.

My mum's home allowed garden visits in the Summer, but too cold now so we have closed window visits as they haven't got round to having a pod.

According to the guidelines, you ought to be having at least window visits so I would email the home again and get them to put it in writing exactly what the "safety aspect " is because if it's not safe for the resident they need to make it safe.


I expect you have read the new Government guidance which stresses the importance of visits to mental well being. The guidance explains to use the Lateral flow tests, plus ppe etc, as no test is completely reliable, but with good infection control etc the risk is minimal. You must email the home, quoting the guidance.
Mum's home haven't received the lateral flow tests yet, and the manager is already hinting at excessive workload, but other homes are managing to overcome this.

If you get the answer still no visits, you must email your DPH ( council) to get them to intervene.
Some on the campaign group are frightened of their loved one being evicted if they complain, but what is the alternative? Vaccines are still a long way off for many and time is not on the residents side.
 

miltonlew

New member
Mar 9, 2020
2
0
64
rustington
I had a very uncomfortable conversation over the phone with the manager of mums CH yesterday. Basically she is not willing to allow any family members into the home because “ the staff will not allow it, we are doing everything to keep COVID out “. Apparently the staff do nothing other than shop once a week and spend no time with their families. The Pod that has been talked about for months is now ready to be rolled out next week, but as it is a roofless bodge up construction in the conservatory everyone who uses it will need to be dripping in PPE. Mum has poor vision barely any speech and needs contact to have any chance of a meaningful visit, so this is definitely not going to end well. In fact I really don’t think I can face it.
dont worry Quizbunny..i was in a similar situation with the same misgivings.But seeing my partner more than made up for it,giving co vid restrictions i was so pleased to have the communication.I went home with a slight crumb of comfort and reassurance
 

Kellyr

Registered User
Aug 8, 2020
174
0
dont worry Quizbunny..i was in a similar situation with the same misgivings.But seeing my partner more than made up for it,giving co vid restrictions i was so pleased to have the communication.I went home with a slight crumb of comfort and reassurance
The pod at my Mums home is a sealed unit and we still have to wear full ppe, its utterly ridiculous and tbh I found it really upsetting. Its a really inhumane type of visit if someone has dementia but the only thing is it at least allows you to see your mum in the flesh. Carehome managers seem to be taking tips off each other in how to be as lacking in compassion as possible. The way they make you feel guilty for asking for even minor concessions and you must be greatful for even seeing your relative through a window. Its quite incredible and just demonstrates how far the homes have moved from actually caring to becoming prisons run by prison officers!
 

Lone Wolf

Registered User
Sep 20, 2020
126
0
At my partner's care home there is neither pod nor perspex screen. Not even a hint of any lateral flow testing. They did however push the boat out & install an inadequate heater in the open sided gazebo in the garden. I did try it once on a thankfully mild day in early December. Luckily the sun came out during the visit. But otherwise totally unsuitable in winter for my frail wheelchair bound partner, not to mention the muddy lawn to be traversed. Now since mid-December all visiting has been stopped completely. Not even window visits allowed. T'was indeed a Merry Christmas. A Happy New Year to all for 2021.
 

Kingsdaughter

Registered User
Dec 27, 2020
15
0
It's so distressing, reading the distress so many of you are suffering through this very hard time. My mum and dad are both in a care home. I had seen them both in the summer, two half hour visits each, in the garden, 2 mtrs apart and in ppe. Both times were very distressing. Dad cried because he couldn't hug me. Mum was angry, suspicious of the 'prison wardens', upset because she couldn't even hold my hand and thought it was all because she was being punished for something.
I hadnt seen them since then but had a visit last week in their new pod. At first, they said I could have 15 mins each parent but I politely argued that it would be barely enough time to sit down and say hello. Apparently it was because I had two parents and although all other single residents had half and hour, mine were only allowed 15 mins each...
It takes me two hours on public transport to get there and costs me £50 as my son has to accompany me as I have disabilities. Eventually they relented and I was allowed half hour each parent.
Dad was fairly ok although he was tearful as he could see me but not hug me. He also couldn't hear very well through the perspex as the intercom distorted my voice. He said he didn't know what I was saying.
when mum came to the door and saw me, her face lit up and she rushed to hug me. She didn't see the perspex and banged into it. She was understandably upset and tearful. She cannot understand why she cant hug her own daughter. She hated being in the pod. She kept putting her fingers on the glass to 'touch mine'. It was so sad and took all my strength not to dissolve into tears. When it was time to go, mum sadly stood up and asked the carer to take her back. It was extremely upsetting. All you want to do is hug them, but you're not allowed. When my sister visited her, mum just screamed at her to go away to her own family and not bother coming back. These screens are so traumatising for those with dementia.

Makes me so very angry. These lockdowns are unlawful and cruel. I long for the day when those responsible for this trauma and heartache, are locked up themselves. They have stolen our families from us, taken the precious time we should have with them. It's criminal what's being done. Our relatives shouldn't be imprisoned like this, locked away for nearly a year, held hostage, it's inhumane. I petition the mps, the barristers and lawyers etc. I post on radio shows and many sites, trying to get something done, but until the gov is made to unlock, or until they are removed, there seems to be no intention to unlock the care homes. I will keep going. There are a growing number of MPs speaking out about the fraud that is being committed, the injustice that is being inflicted on so many. I live in hope that something will change soon and the truth will be revealed and we can be with our loved ones again.
 

Kingsdaughter

Registered User
Dec 27, 2020
15
0
At my partner's care home there is neither pod nor perspex screen. Not even a hint of any lateral flow testing. They did however push the boat out & install an inadequate heater in the open sided gazebo in the garden. I did try it once on a thankfully mild day in early December. Luckily the sun came out during the visit. But otherwise totally unsuitable in winter for my frail wheelchair bound partner, not to mention the muddy lawn to be traversed. Now since mid-December all visiting has been stopped completely. Not even window visits allowed. T'was indeed a Merry Christmas. A Happy New Year to all for 2021.
It's very sad. I hope your new year brings some joy for you both x
 

Kellyr

Registered User
Aug 8, 2020
174
0
It's so distressing, reading the distress so many of you are suffering through this very hard time. My mum and dad are both in a care home. I had seen them both in the summer, two half hour visits each, in the garden, 2 mtrs apart and in ppe. Both times were very distressing. Dad cried because he couldn't hug me. Mum was angry, suspicious of the 'prison wardens', upset because she couldn't even hold my hand and thought it was all because she was being punished for something.
I hadnt seen them since then but had a visit last week in their new pod. At first, they said I could have 15 mins each parent but I politely argued that it would be barely enough time to sit down and say hello. Apparently it was because I had two parents and although all other single residents had half and hour, mine were only allowed 15 mins each...
It takes me two hours on public transport to get there and costs me £50 as my son has to accompany me as I have disabilities. Eventually they relented and I was allowed half hour each parent.
Dad was fairly ok although he was tearful as he could see me but not hug me. He also couldn't hear very well through the perspex as the intercom distorted my voice. He said he didn't know what I was saying.
when mum came to the door and saw me, her face lit up and she rushed to hug me. She didn't see the perspex and banged into it. She was understandably upset and tearful. She cannot understand why she cant hug her own daughter. She hated being in the pod. She kept putting her fingers on the glass to 'touch mine'. It was so sad and took all my strength not to dissolve into tears. When it was time to go, mum sadly stood up and asked the carer to take her back. It was extremely upsetting. All you want to do is hug them, but you're not allowed. When my sister visited her, mum just screamed at her to go away to her own family and not bother coming back. These screens are so traumatising for those with dementia.

Makes me so very angry. These lockdowns are unlawful and cruel. I long for the day when those responsible for this trauma and heartache, are locked up themselves. They have stolen our families from us, taken the precious time we should have with them. It's criminal what's being done. Our relatives shouldn't be imprisoned like this, locked away for nearly a year, held hostage, it's inhumane. I petition the mps, the barristers and lawyers etc. I post on radio shows and many sites, trying to get something done, but until the gov is made to unlock, or until they are removed, there seems to be no intention to unlock the care homes. I will keep going. There are a growing number of MPs speaking out about the fraud that is being committed, the injustice that is being inflicted on so many. I live in hope that something will change soon and the truth will be revealed and we can be with our loved ones again.
loneIm so sorry you are being put through this. Found out today theres a 'suspected' case of covid in my Mums c/home so all visits stopped (no scientific reason for this given the visits were in pods). This will no doubt segue into the next national lockdown in the new year which will conveniently stop all visits everywhere. I wish I could find a positive but I cant.
 

anxious annie

Registered User
Jan 2, 2019
794
0
So many residents are still not having the promised indoor visits, and only vaccines for the larger homes it seems. Good news about the Oxford vaccine, but it seems that the 2nd jab could be up to 12 weeks after the initial jab, and some homes are saying no room visits until after both "doses" so potentially this could be mid April onwards. I have given up asking mum's home about the Lateral Flow tests for indoor visits, the last I heard a few days before Christmas was that they "needed a bin to dispose of the tests"!
I expect they must have sourced a bin by now, and trained staff etc, just in time for Matt to announce they will move to Tier 4 so conveniently indoor visits no longer allowed .... it will just be mum's luck for this to happen, will be listening to the update later, but as numbers are rising in her area I don't hold out much hope of them staying in tier 3.
Am feeling that my hands are tied if in Tier 4, tho why tests and ppe etc wouldn't be as safe as for tier 3 I don't know.
Someone had commented on the care home Facebook page yesterday that they were glad to have done a phone call instead of a window visit as they had snow fall overnight. Maybe I'm not the only one complaining as the manager says!