My mum has recently been placed into permanent care for just over two months now. It was heartbreaking and really stressful to find a home for her. She was a self funder for a couple of months only but the local authority have agreed to her funding to stay there which would start next month. I visit and call everyday to check on her. However there have been a couple of issues since being there and a big decline in her confusement to what she was when we took her in. I mentioned this to staff and manager. Recently I noticed Bruises/urine soaked floor in the afternoon/no covers on the bed in the evening. I haven’t ever had a meeting with the manager since discussing her becoming a resident. They didn’t seem interested. Eventually after perseverance I managed to get a meeting but it got cancelled so I thought I would email her some of my concerns. She replied by stating a huge list of negative behaviour from my mum and they think she should move to a more secure dementia unit and we should have a meeting next week to discuss. I was so shocked and appalled to hear this news. Not one care manager or senior staff informed me of any of these issues. I always ask for an update and they’ve never said anything to me. I also have LPA. So myself and social worker are meeting with them next week. This will break my mum if she has to move but maybe it’s for the best if she’s not receiving the correct care. I think my mum’s behaviour is sadly true but I don’t understand how a care home can say they treat dementia care but then can’t. The respite home said the same and I don’t want to put her through it again. Also is it suspicious that her funding is coming to an end too. Is this a factor?
Carehome says they can’t meet her needs!
- Thread starter MichYvonne
- Start date
I feel like they cherry pick their residents. They just keep moving them on under the guise of ’she‘ll be happier in another unit.’
Yes,I'm afraid that lots of care homes, even the ones who say that they specialise in dementia care, do indeed cherry pick the ones they want. What they want is usually people in the early easy stages of dementia and as soon as there is more challenging behaviour they will give notice. This challenging behaviour is usually normal dementia progression like wandering, incontinence and resistance to personal care.
It is no good trying to persuade them to keep your mum on. Much better to find somewhere that can actually cope with it all. When you contact a care home ask them what sort of behaviour they would not accept. Be brutally honest about your mums behaviour and ask them how they would deal with it - wooly answers probably mean they have little experience. It sounds to me as though your mum probably needs an EMI unit/home.
It is no good trying to persuade them to keep your mum on. Much better to find somewhere that can actually cope with it all. When you contact a care home ask them what sort of behaviour they would not accept. Be brutally honest about your mums behaviour and ask them how they would deal with it - wooly answers probably mean they have little experience. It sounds to me as though your mum probably needs an EMI unit/home.
I agree.
It`s no credit to the care home that they have now decided your mother`s dementia is not what they feel they can manage but once that seed has been sown, a feeling of anxiety will develop in you @MichYvonne and a loss of trust.
I hope you will be able to find a better home for your mother with staff who will be more understanding of her needs.
It`s no credit to the care home that they have now decided your mother`s dementia is not what they feel they can manage but once that seed has been sown, a feeling of anxiety will develop in you @MichYvonne and a loss of trust.
I hope you will be able to find a better home for your mother with staff who will be more understanding of her needs.
Hello @MichYvonne
I’m sorry you are going through this. My mum has gone now but I had to move her from one care home to another because her dementia often caused her to behave in a very challenging way. It was not easy and I only found one care home in the area willing to look after her. Things did not always go well but the staff genuinely cared for mum and loved her, not in spite of her fiery nature but because of it. They were used to residents behaving in “challenging” ways and were able to deal with it in a competent, good natured and compassionate way, despite many of them sustaining minor injuries.
The current care home does not sound a great place for your mum unless they can radically improve things. Rather than break your mum as you fear, a move to somewhere that can provide the care she needs will probably make her life much better.
Good luck.
I’m sorry you are going through this. My mum has gone now but I had to move her from one care home to another because her dementia often caused her to behave in a very challenging way. It was not easy and I only found one care home in the area willing to look after her. Things did not always go well but the staff genuinely cared for mum and loved her, not in spite of her fiery nature but because of it. They were used to residents behaving in “challenging” ways and were able to deal with it in a competent, good natured and compassionate way, despite many of them sustaining minor injuries.
The current care home does not sound a great place for your mum unless they can radically improve things. Rather than break your mum as you fear, a move to somewhere that can provide the care she needs will probably make her life much better.
Good luck.
Thank you for advice. We have a meeting with the manager tomorrow. The Social worker thinks that CHAD should be involved and we try and keep her there before moving her on. I don’t think the manager wants this. There’s not a lot I can do if this is the case. I dread looking at other care homes and think it will damage my mum to move her. Can the manager refuse CHAD and give notice of a couple of weeks or do they have to try reviewing her first? Also could it be that she wants the room for a self funder?
Care homes always want self-funders because self-funders pay significantly more than LAs pay for the people they fund and actually subsidise LA funded residents.
Now my mum has used her money and down to the capital, she has become LA but now I don’t have the same choices of care homes now.
That sounds like a big coincidence. Was your mum self funding in the home she is in now, and does she only now h=need LA support?
If they are being underhand and moving people on so that the care home doesnt have to keep LA funded residents, then I dont think I would want a relative to stay there - they would only be thinking about profits, not people.
I do think she has got worse very quickly but that’s what happens with dementia isn’t it and if they say they are a res/dementia carehome then why are they asking her to leave?
