Hi everyone! New to this forum and I know you are all trying to navigate a difficult path but thought I’d just post to see if anyone else has a similar situation. My sweet dad had a major stroke exactly 3 months after my mom died (married 60 years) 5/2015 and he moved in with me after he got out of rehab. It was a left-sided stroke so unfortunately he is unable to use any of his right side, and speech was severely affected. Communication is very difficult...we tried communication devices but he really can’t use them and isn’t interested. He is incontinent and the only thing he can really do independently is feed himself (needs monitoring as he is an aspiration risk). Fortunately he attends an adult day care facility M-F and is picked up and dropped off daily at the house. He HATES it but he needs the routine and I need a break, and they are really good to him. I also have a busy 15 yo boy who plays ALOT of basketball. I retired in June as I could no longer juggle this circus and work. We have private pay aides who come in frequently so I can tend to other stuff. So here’s the thing.....he has a little dog PJ and they are glued at the hip. When he is here all he wants to do is sit in his recliner with his little dog on his lap. If the dog will not sit on his lap he’s constantly trying to get out of his chair to get the dog or the other two dogs as he wants all of them on his lap (broke his shoulder last year getting out of bed to let the dog out). He eats a breakfast before he leaves and has snacks and a hot lunch at the facility but once he gets home I cannot get him to eat anything other than a snack which he insists on sharing with the dogs. His physical health is good despite his status, and he has had no weight loss. We do nutrition shakes and push fluids. He sometimes becomes combative with the aids as he has started refusing toileting and getting a shower and is sometimes really rude to them....they are not offended but i sometimes have to help calm him down to cooperate. Since he can’t communicate he really has no control over anything in his life and we try to give him choices when the situation is appropriate. He seems to be sleeping more and wants to go to bed earlier, although with the time change it’s dark at 5:30 PM. He has never seemed to be upset about the stroke, losing his home and independence, or losing mom, but we don’t talk about those things other than reminisce and look at photo albums which he seems to enjoy. He has lots of family and friends who visit him and he enjoys visiting with all these people, and remembers them. I have no idea how to gauge his “stage” of dementia as it’s so difficult to determine his level of understanding due to the speech. Does anyone have an idea how I would determine this? I‘m assuming he’s progressing as he is sleeping more (he IS nearly 88 though), is eating less and more focused on the dogs....he has always (since stroke) focused on holding, petting and giving the dogs his food, but it does appear to be worse. Thanks for any feedback, sorry the post is so lengthy.