Hello Amy
A number of questions cos I am getting a little mixed up and can't remember your situation fully.
1) How old is your mum? [/B][/COLOR] 82
2) How far does she live from you, and how far from your brother?
About 2-3 hours by public transport
3) Does your mum want to move house? If yes, does she want to live independently, or would she prefer to be in some type of Home?
Yes, she wants to live independently.[/B]
4) I remember you saying that your brother thought that mum should go into a nursing home . Does he still think this now there has been some improvement in your mum's condition?
Sometimes better, sometimes worse
.
5) You mentioned that your health is not good, what about your brother's health?
Better than mine, but he gets tired.
6) If your mum is having difficulty living independently, and you yourself are not well, might it not be worth trying to find a nice Residential Home for your mum, where you and your brother would know that she was safe and well cared for. If it was close to you, you would be able to see her and be her daughter, without the stress of being her carer, and worrying that she was safe.
I think she will be able to live independently in the sort of retirement apartments I have been looking at, with careworkers coming in. Of course no-one can predict how anyone will be after a few months, or years.
6) Is there no way that you and your brother can reach some sort of compromise;
you both seem to want to sort out your mum's situation, but at the moment have different ideas. The one thing for sure is that the continuing tension cannot be doing any of you any good. What is it that your brother wants for your mum? Let your friends on TP see if they can see any positives in his solution that you might not be able to see because you are so close to the situation.
I am sure that eventually we will come to some sort of compromise.
Take care.
Amy[/QUOTE]