Care plan review

[ANDOVA]

Good morning and all the best for the New Year.
My wife, I am her carer, over a month ago had a care plan review, to date we have not received a copy of it, is this normal? From the conversation with the social worker the prevision of respite will be offered. But my wife point blankly refuses to go into resident care for a weekend to allow it to take place, in her mind she is perfectly capable of staying at home and looking after her self. More importantly she resents the idea of my going off on my own, to do something interesting and leaving her at home all by herself.
The social workers attitude was basically that, if she would not stay voluntarily, they would put an order in place (sorry I forget its name) which would lock her in the residential care facility.
I tried to explain, that if this was tried how badly it would be for me, firstly getting her ready for the respite would be a nightmare and after the respite, well words could not describe how much grief she would give me. I do not understand why the social worker could not or would not understand this?
On a similar vein why do 'officials' always seem to ask you what problems there are care of your loved ones in front to the person you care for??
please any comments of advice welcome, just writing it down is good, problem shared, as they say.
Take care.

 

[fizzie]

Sorry you are having such a bad time - the disease is horrible enough without feeling that professionals are treating you poorly.
Yes, you should have a copy of the care plan.
You should be able to speak to the social worker away from your wife and when you phone to request a copy of the care plan it might be a good idea to ask to have that conversation between you and her but certainly to make a note on the record that you would like as part of the assessment to speak to the social worker alone (I can never believe why they do that, I think it is very rude of them and they don't do it with children so why do it with adults - there should always be an opportunity to speak separately for both parties.

I don't know what to advise you about respite - others will have experienced similar problems to yours and may have a solution - it sounds as though you really really could do with the break but to come back to a lot of grief would be very hard. Would she go if you told her the doctor says she must because he thinks she is unwell and needs this to get fit? That would make it all about her rather than about you?

just a thought x

 

[ANDOVA]

Thanks for the comments it feels better to know some one else shares my views. Your idea about the Doctor is a nice one, it is an approach I had not thought of. You are so right about forgetting things but not feelings. I still get the silent treatment and it can take ages to figure out why. mind you, mostly I deserve it.
Take care

 

[fizzie]

No, you don't deserve it - you are doing a cracking job of caring --I reckon it is one of the hardest jobs in the world. However, we all try to find out the best ways of doing things to make our lives easiest. With my Ma I stopped trying to work out what I had said or done to upset her I just got on with the next bit - it reduces the strain

I hope you get that break!