care options for my mum

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by zoho, Feb 6, 2016.

  1. zoho

    zoho Registered User

    Feb 6, 2016
    1
    Hello everyone,

    3 years ago my dad (then aged 74) was diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment and a few months later he was sectioned and he now lives in a care home. Unbelievably my mum (aged 68) now appears to be developing dementia and it's very possible she's in the early stages of Alzheimer's.

    She currently lives with her partner and is selling her flat in London because living there alone was becoming too much for her. To make matters even worse her partner has terminal cancer.

    My siblings and I had a terrible time with my dad for many reasons and would like nothing more than to be able to prepare for the time when her partner dies and she gets more ill.

    Does anyone know if there are any assisted living or sheltered housing places in London specifically for people with dementia? If so does anyone have any experience of them (in London or anywhere?) My mum has always been an incredibly independent woman (to the point of refusing to live with her partner for the last 15 odd years!) and although we don't know how her illness is going to progress we can't imagine her being in a home and are keen to find out what other options might be while she's still functioning fairly well.

    TIA and sorry for the long post!
     
  2. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    8,022
    Yorkshire
    Hi zoho
    a warm welcome to TP - sorry you have reason to come to the forum but glad that you've found such a brilliant place to share ideas and experiences and information
    Your family is really being put through the mill - much sympathy
    I don't have the specific info you're looking for - but someone will have some ideas
    I do think you're all wise to make as many preparations as you can - I'm sure you'll know about these but do think of arranging for POAs, claim a decrease in Council Tax, apply for Attendance Allowance when your mum is eligible
    Are you going to start the process of getting a diagnosis? Maybe begin contact with her GP so s/he knows your mum's situation and your concerns - and so that you can build a relationship for the future - would your mum agree to have a note on her records that you are to be party to discussions about her health?
    It's definitely worth looking at other possible reasons for any confusion - a vitamin deficiency for example
    Your mum sounds a wonderful lady and she's fortunate to have you all looking out for her
    best wishes
     
  3. jugglingmum

    jugglingmum Registered User

    Jan 5, 2014
    5,178
    Female
    Chester
    My mum is in sheltered extra care, sometimes referred to as assisted living. The support in sheltered would not have been enough for her.

    It is not dementia specific and they will not continue to support her if she starts wandering or upsetting other residents - but for now for her it is perfect so worth a look for something like this if you think your mum would accept it.

    I was aware of some dementia specific developments in the planning stage in the North West (through my job) but don't know if they have progressed.

    I used this website to find my mum's flat so it might be useful - you have to set a borough so I put in Barnet - but you can change it in top left drop down box


    http://www.housingcare.org/housing-...ondon&ca=Barnet&stp=1&dtp=2&sm=&vm=list&rp=15
     
  4. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,739
    i have just sent you a private message re housing
     
  5. hvml

    hvml Registered User

    Oct 10, 2015
    300
    North Cornwall
    I'm not sure exactly what they offer, but in London, I have been made aware of a Care organization called Anchor. If you google it, may be of interest.

    Best wishes

    Heidi
     

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