Well, Mum is in a Care Home. 5 weeks. It isn't the greatest in the world, but which one is?
I think once mum gets her new hearing aid, she will realise that the woman she has made friends with, isn't all that nice. Should I cancel the new hearing aid?
She's getting used to the home. I like the staff, they know her, they have a good grasp of the kind of person she is, and they like her. Now that sounds good to me. They are respectful, and kind. And ordinary folk.
She likes them too. That also sounds good.
They don't seem to have much time to sit and chat with individual residents, or if they do it is only certain care workers who do that, cos they enjoy it personally.
She didn't like the food at first, now it is fine.
She says she doesn't get bathed, but they have a set schedule for bathing, which I have seen. Of course, it goes wrong at times, and mum doesn't always remember if shes had a bath or not.
The trip out this week got cancelled cos the bus driver was ill.
The activities co-ordinator could only come 3 days cos her baby was ill.
The hall and stairs are being painted, so there is a paint smell.
Does all this matter?
I am still worried about my choice of home. But there isn't really another, and mum is getting increasingly confused about things like where she is. She can just about find her way now from the lounge to her bedroom to apply her cream to her sore bottom. In the alternative care home, she couldn't have done that, no way.
She also uses her own room if she wants the toilet, and knows how to get there. That is important I think. She seems to have no idea that she is on the first floor in the home, and that the dining room is on the ground floor. Residents are taken down in batches in the lift. But last week when we went into the dining room for her to write a birthday card she said "Oh, I havent been in this room before". So if I move her somewhere else, is it going to be too confusing for her? I really thought she'd be quite mobile around this home, and she isn't. It now seems obvious that apart from her regular trips to places around her home, she couldn't cope with anything else at all.
A couple of weeks go, we drove into Buxton town centre. She has been there many times with my dad, perhaps once a fortnight before he died. She had no idea where she was. She tripped up on a stone that had nothing wrong with it, we went to Boots and she had no idea where her purse was, we then went to Waitrose for some Cranberry juice, and she tipped the entire contents of her handbag on the floor while searching for her purse (which she'd just used). She seems to have gone downhill so fast, she was in such a muddle, she couldn't even fasten her handbag up again. I am just glad she is safe.
I thought she'd be delighted about the trip into Buxton. We'd only been there half an hour. I thought she'd like a cup of tea in one of the cafes. I suggested it to her. No, she said, I think we'd better be getting back.
Is this what others have experienced? I just didn't expect all this. I thought she'd be keen to settle into the home, watch the telly as she used to, talk about the news, football, Gordon Brown, like a trip into town, but it has all gone. She is now just a little woman sitting in a chair doing nothing. Has the care home done that to her, or has she just deteriorated. I don't know. It frightens me that I have done it to her by putting her there. Hey, here am I telling other people on this site not to feel guilty, and I am feeling guilty. Not guilty really, just that I don't understand how my mum has gone from looking after herself 3 months ago, to doing nothing at all now, other than sitting in a chair all day. It isn't what I expected and not what I wanted, but what can I do?
She used to be a churchgoer, every Sunday a driver from the church would pick her up, take her, and bring her back. This was a little parish church. Buxton has a big church with two schools attached to it. I asked the priest to visit her. He has managed one visit in 3 months. I asked if they had a scheme to take the housebound to church. Answer No. I suggested they try it once a month. No response.
Such a shame.
Anyway, I am waffling as I do late at night. Sorry all.
Love
Margaret
I think once mum gets her new hearing aid, she will realise that the woman she has made friends with, isn't all that nice. Should I cancel the new hearing aid?
She's getting used to the home. I like the staff, they know her, they have a good grasp of the kind of person she is, and they like her. Now that sounds good to me. They are respectful, and kind. And ordinary folk.
She likes them too. That also sounds good.
They don't seem to have much time to sit and chat with individual residents, or if they do it is only certain care workers who do that, cos they enjoy it personally.
She didn't like the food at first, now it is fine.
She says she doesn't get bathed, but they have a set schedule for bathing, which I have seen. Of course, it goes wrong at times, and mum doesn't always remember if shes had a bath or not.
The trip out this week got cancelled cos the bus driver was ill.
The activities co-ordinator could only come 3 days cos her baby was ill.
The hall and stairs are being painted, so there is a paint smell.
Does all this matter?
I am still worried about my choice of home. But there isn't really another, and mum is getting increasingly confused about things like where she is. She can just about find her way now from the lounge to her bedroom to apply her cream to her sore bottom. In the alternative care home, she couldn't have done that, no way.
She also uses her own room if she wants the toilet, and knows how to get there. That is important I think. She seems to have no idea that she is on the first floor in the home, and that the dining room is on the ground floor. Residents are taken down in batches in the lift. But last week when we went into the dining room for her to write a birthday card she said "Oh, I havent been in this room before". So if I move her somewhere else, is it going to be too confusing for her? I really thought she'd be quite mobile around this home, and she isn't. It now seems obvious that apart from her regular trips to places around her home, she couldn't cope with anything else at all.
A couple of weeks go, we drove into Buxton town centre. She has been there many times with my dad, perhaps once a fortnight before he died. She had no idea where she was. She tripped up on a stone that had nothing wrong with it, we went to Boots and she had no idea where her purse was, we then went to Waitrose for some Cranberry juice, and she tipped the entire contents of her handbag on the floor while searching for her purse (which she'd just used). She seems to have gone downhill so fast, she was in such a muddle, she couldn't even fasten her handbag up again. I am just glad she is safe.
I thought she'd be delighted about the trip into Buxton. We'd only been there half an hour. I thought she'd like a cup of tea in one of the cafes. I suggested it to her. No, she said, I think we'd better be getting back.
Is this what others have experienced? I just didn't expect all this. I thought she'd be keen to settle into the home, watch the telly as she used to, talk about the news, football, Gordon Brown, like a trip into town, but it has all gone. She is now just a little woman sitting in a chair doing nothing. Has the care home done that to her, or has she just deteriorated. I don't know. It frightens me that I have done it to her by putting her there. Hey, here am I telling other people on this site not to feel guilty, and I am feeling guilty. Not guilty really, just that I don't understand how my mum has gone from looking after herself 3 months ago, to doing nothing at all now, other than sitting in a chair all day. It isn't what I expected and not what I wanted, but what can I do?
She used to be a churchgoer, every Sunday a driver from the church would pick her up, take her, and bring her back. This was a little parish church. Buxton has a big church with two schools attached to it. I asked the priest to visit her. He has managed one visit in 3 months. I asked if they had a scheme to take the housebound to church. Answer No. I suggested they try it once a month. No response.
Such a shame.
Anyway, I am waffling as I do late at night. Sorry all.
Love
Margaret
) so eventually shopping expeditions were a thing of the past. If you can go into one shop, that's okay. But the big shopping centres are a definite no-no - too many people, too much noise (think of all the different music blaring out of different shops) too much everything. Too much stimulation that an AD person cannot process.
