Hello - this is my first message. My mom has just gone into a care home. I had little choice about which home - as the circumstances overtook and overwhelmed me. I have been caring for her for 6years with alzheimers (whilst working full time) in the last year - she has had home helps come in to give food. I was so busy trying to fetch and carry and look after her house and her etc.. i didnt realize she was deteriorating so much. It was gradual but I didnt see it in a way. One day the home help said "you mom has gone off her legs, it took me an hour to get her upstairs - can you come over" When i got there - mom was on her own and had fallen upstairs and was taking rubbish (she may have had a t.i.a?) The paramedics were called, etc... and she ended up in hospital. She was dehydrated - but nothing much else transpired. I blurted out about not being able to cope - and now, 7 weeks later she has been put in a local residential home. (It isn't EMI) The hospital social worker advised this; but wasnt much else use really (what are they for?) It was where there was a place; its a bit shabby, and i feel guilty. The staff seem kind. It's all been a bit of a rollercoaster ride - and I dont feel in control at all. I visited another home - but it was a shared room ( at least this home has single rooms) Mom has been there since Wednesday - it is now Saturday. She is on a 4week trial. ( i am kidding myself it's just 4 weeks...) I looked at the CSCI report - it was average. I am not sure what to say to mom - do other people lie a bit? She doesnt remember being in hospital at all. I am saying - "you have to stay here until you get stronger" Some days she is more on the ball - others she is not. I don't really know what she knows or doesn't now - i get confused with memory and understanding - with alzheimer's...falling into trap of treating her as if she is stupid not forgetful! I feel tired, guilty, and emotional.What can you do?Any ideas or help or support please.