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Care homes refusing dad. Mum at end of her tether.

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Kvet, Jan 10, 2015.

  1. Kvet

    Kvet Registered User

    Jan 10, 2015
    3
    Very long story, will keep it short. Dad has been in a care home for a year and a half. Quite settled but recently mum wasnt happy with his care so removed him week before Christmas (against my and my sisters wishes). She found some carers to look after him (as she works still even though is retired) but they fell through last minute. She has tried all week to find a care home for him (she is primary carer and power of attorney and all that lot) but nowhere will take him (even if they have spaces). He has middle to advanced dementia and alzheimers and needs 24/7 help and supervision. Last. Ight my mum did something silly but it made the police come round and the dr and they got dad admitted to a hospital to try and get him in a psychiatric place. Today he is being discharged as he shouldnt be sitting in a hospital. There is no bed in any psychiatric place for him.
    What can be done? Care homes refuse him and mum cant stay with him as she worksand she is up in arms as she had to stay off work all this week. I work and live 3 1/2 hours away and my sister lives in London. We are in scotland. Any help would be vital before my mum does something silly again :/
     
  2. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    5,860
    Female
    Scotland
    Your Mum sounds very headstrong making hasty decisions which come back to bite her. If he was settled at the original CH would they take him back or has she burnt her boats?
     
  3. Kvet

    Kvet Registered User

    Jan 10, 2015
    3
    This is what my sister and I think. She didnt have a proper plan set up. I doubt the original care home will take him back,she went to the press about them. Plus she would never send him back there.
     
  4. jeany123

    jeany123 Registered User

    Mar 24, 2012
    19,049
    Durham
    #4 jeany123, Jan 10, 2015
    Last edited: Jan 10, 2015
    She could approach a private agency and arrange for carers for the hours she is working, this takes time though I don't know if it can be organised straight away,
     
  5. Katrine

    Katrine Registered User

    Jan 20, 2011
    2,850
    England
    It can be organised quite quickly but isn't cheap. PM me if you want details of the care agency I use for my mum.
     
  6. Rageddy Anne

    Rageddy Anne Registered User

    Feb 21, 2013
    5,990
    Cotswolds
    Poor Mum, poor dad, poor you! So worn down.What a horrible disease this is!
     
  7. Kvet

    Kvet Registered User

    Jan 10, 2015
    3
    Thanks all. Driven up to give a hand and got a few days off work from my boss to help. Will try to get something sorted.
     
  8. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,739
    So sorry to hear your story. Your mum must be under huge stress. I really hope that you can find a solution. Carers in the house do sound like quite a good idea although if your mum is so stressed will she be able to cope when they are not there?

    All this must be making your Dad even more unwell.

    I really hope you find a solution and will be thinking of you

     
  9. jeany123

    jeany123 Registered User

    Mar 24, 2012
    19,049
    Durham
    I hope you get something sorted for your dad and mum, come back and tell us how you get on,
     

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