care homes and challenging behaviour

ADaughterInLaw

Registered User
Jun 29, 2015
7
I would really appreciate any advice about finding an appropriate care home for my mother in law. She first moved into a home in February but by June they said that they could no longer cope with her behaviour. The main issue is sexual disinhibition: she fixates on certain male residents, following them everywhere (e.g. to toilet) and tries to get in their room at night. She also will always seek to sit next to them and want to kiss, cuddle them. This led to a safeguarding alert as there were concerns that it was causing distress to the male resident. She can also become aggressive when staff try to distract her or move her away. We then moved her to a new home at the beginning of the month (with their full awareness of these issues) and they too are now saying that they cannot manage her (in particular the reduced staff ratio at night means that they cannot cope with her getting up and trying to go into his room).
So far I have not been able to find any single sex homes / wards. The home / ss and cmht don't seem to know of any in area either (surrey). Any recommendations or advice otherwise about managing this would be greatly appreciated. Really concerned that placing her after being asked to leave twice will now be really difficult. Many thanks
 

Margarita

Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
10,824
london
sounds outrages that they could ask your mother to leave another home, when your mother just showing symptoms of a dementia

so am wondering
Is this 2nd care home your mother in a specialised dementia care homes ?
 
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ADaughterInLaw

Registered User
Jun 29, 2015
7
sounds outrages that they could ask your mother to leave another home, when your mother just showing symptoms of a dementia

so am wondering
Is this 2nd care home your mother in a specialised dementia care homes ?
Thank you for your reply. It does specialise in dementia but not exclusively. We have been similarly dumbfounded - it is absolutely just a manifestation of dementia (combined with a desire for closeness to others) but it seems to somehow be too much trouble for them to cope with which seems related to the amount of more dedicated care she needs. It was particularly devastating as we'd moved her to the new place with their full knowledge and they had seemed so positive about managing it.
We just don't know where to turn now.
 

Patricia Alice

Registered User
Mar 2, 2015
179
I would really appreciate any advice about finding an appropriate care home for my mother in law. She first moved into a home in February but by June they said that they could no longer cope with her behaviour. The main issue is sexual disinhibition: she fixates on certain male residents, following them everywhere (e.g. to toilet) and tries to get in their room at night. She also will always seek to sit next to them and want to kiss, cuddle them. This led to a safeguarding alert as there were concerns that it was causing distress to the male resident. She can also become aggressive when staff try to distract her or move her away. We then moved her to a new home at the beginning of the month (with their full awareness of these issues) and they too are now saying that they cannot manage her (in particular the reduced staff ratio at night means that they cannot cope with her getting up and trying to go into his room).
So far I have not been able to find any single sex homes / wards. The home / ss and cmht don't seem to know of any in area either (surrey). Any recommendations or advice otherwise about managing this would be greatly appreciated. Really concerned that placing her after being asked to leave twice will now be really difficult. Many thanks
We have had to move mum to dementia nursing/challenging behaviour recently. She was in residential dementia and very low staffing levels. Since being moved to nursing dementia the staff ratio is much higher, along with nurses and entertainment staff.

My mum still has not settled and is still playing up, but we have not been contacted once to go in as they seem better prepared.

Although I was against moving mom to the higher category I can see the staff do interact more. We could put my mom in Buckingham Palace and she would still play up.

Also my mom six months ago was coming out with sexual comments which was very odd because she was never like this and the CPN said this does happen but couldn't say why when mom has never been this way.

I would suggest you check out the higher category and whilst you may be put off by it initially, you will see that there are usually more staff on hand to deal with your mother in law.
 

Onlyme

Registered User
Apr 5, 2010
4,995
UK
Mum is of an age when discussion of any aspects of a sexual nature was completely forbidden. It's as if her illness was digging up all the no go areas of her childhood and giving them voice. It was a phase that she has now grown out of.
 

Margarita

Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
10,824
london
We just don't know where to turn now.
When something similar happen to my mother, but at day care .

My first port of call was to get my mother dementia assessed from our local dementia nurse, as day care just wanted to know if was just the progresstion of my mother dementia.

My mother keep flirting with one of the workers , he found it uncomfortable.

My attitude was if he did not understand the progressions of the damage to my mother brain from the dementia he should not be working with people with dementia.
So he could go not my mother :)

http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents_info.php?documentID=129
As the 'control centre' for behaviour and emotion, the brain is in charge of sexual feelings and inhibitions. This means that in a person with dementia, sexual feelings can change unpredictably. Depending on which parts of the person's brain have been damaged, and what medication they are taking, a person with dementia may (but may not) experience any of the following:/QUOTE]

Maybe your mother does need a dementia nursing for challenging behaviours like Patricia Alice said .

I don't know if your MIL is self funded or State funded

If your mother in law is State funded then MIL will need a full assessment for her needs for a nursing care home .

You can get that done while your MIL is in her currant care home.

Socail services use to do the assessment for my mother to go into respite care homes that where for dementia nursing .

i don't know any nursing homes in Surrey .
but I found this one http://www.stjudesnursinghome.co.uk/dementia-care.html


Good luck with your search, don't move your mother in law until you find a dementia nursing home .
 

Margarita

Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
10,824
london
PS

Found this link which may help in finding the right home / nurseing for your MIL

We're the independent regulator of health and adult social care in England.

We make sure health and social care services provide people with safe, effective, compassionate, high-quality care and we encourage care services to improve.

http://www.cqc.org.uk/search/services/care-homes?f[0]=im_field_more_services%3A3659
 
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