Mum has had Alzheimer's for nearly 4 years, she'll be 84 in May. She is immobile, can't do anything just sts in her chair all day, due to problems with her legs. She is in sheltered housing and carers go in four times a day to see to her needs. She is now wears pads as is urine incontinent. I live a long way away, other end of the country. Couple of times Mum has had urine infactions which knocked her for six, never been the same since the 1st one. Recently the carer has found Mum on the bedroom floor a couple of times, unhurt, but no idea how long she had been there. Mum does have an alert pendant, but it's hard to tell if she still knows to use it. In a seperate incident she also rang the police to say she felt trapped, shocked that she remembered how to ring them as she does not now use the phone. She told SIL about the police but I thought someone must have said something, didn't know how police would be involved because we were't informed officially by the housing association or the police, the SIL found out from HA it was true I have been the one who wanted Mum to stay in her own home, knowing she would hate a CH, has said in the past she will leave her flat kicking and screaming. But I'm so sick with worry, there just seems to be no end to this, and it is made worse being so far away. I think if she did go into CH that would be it, no one would go to see her, only me one or twice a year. My SIL is the main contact point and I find her hard to deal with, brother doesn't want to know. Now I think it is probably time for a C H, but how do I do it to my Mum? I think if I don't do it will go mad. I feel so sad I've lost my Mum but she's still alive, is it terrible to wish it to end?