My mum has Alzheimer’s she was diagnosed last June they said that she has had it for at least 10 years. My mum has lived with us all our married life 31+ years she may not have been the easiest person to live as she was a strong willed person and in some whys still is with but the Alzheimer’s it's like the last straw its only after they diagnosed it that you realised how some of her behaviour fits in. I give up my job when she before she was diagnosed as the pressure of work and what you were walking into after work was to much running hot taps, gas left on doors front and back left open and her out off the house you didn’t know if she had just left or had been out all day so something had to give and it was my job. Just before Christmas was really hard, sleepless nights mum up 3 or 4 times each night fully dress thinking its a new day, my husband and daughter then having to face a days work it was telling on us all. The social worker came to assess mum and between us we thought best to look at care homes. Its not a choice taken lightly and again you then have more sleepless night worrying if its the right decision, are if the home we chooses will be the right one and as for crying well I am sure everyone who reads this understands. My husband and I have been to see numerous EMI care homes. Some were good and some were bad it has been a hard and upsetting job to do having star ratings counts for nothing and the lack of understanding of some of the people working in the care home is unbelievable. It has been distressing to see the residents in the care homes and to see how mum will end up with the residents at different stages of Alzheimer‘s. I wish that there was a place to be able to find out more information on the care homes I mean from the families of the people in them I have looked at the homes on the internet I have visited them and I have read the council reports but some times you would like to speak or even read about them from family and friends of the residents in them. If I was buying a car or going on holiday you can go to sites and review them independently from people like ourselves and then make are decisions but this is such a big decision I am making on someone else behalf who can't make that decision themselves its so wrong. It is hard not to let your heart rule you head. I some times feel that I may be throwing in the towel to soon and when my mum has her good days I feel so bad but I don’t know how long my family can go on I know the guilt won’t go away but I must think of my family and my mum and try not to forget myself as I won’t be much good to any of them If I become ill with stress.