Care Home Visits & Price Increases

[Meggiemoo]

I have seen my mum for 1/2 hour in a year, no hand holding, no hugging, no helping her when she was handing me the blanket, no giving her a chocolate button, her only treat. We get told that restrictions are lifted on the 8/3/21 and we can visit. Not our care home, where ever they can they seem to block us visiting. This time its someone testing positive so our visits are on hold until the 12/3/21 at least. Then the weekend when we are not allowed to visit because there is not enough staff to facilitate a visit. So we get to the 15/3/21 when we book a visit. Four visit slots per day are available for 1/2 each. 60 odd residents in the home so how many visits are we likely to get each.
Promised a visiting pod but that has never materialised. The home has had a complete decor overhall whilst we haven't been allowed in except that is in the residents rooms? The fees have gone up 8.5% from 1/4/21! For what, my mum is bed bound, she gets changed twice a day, she has puree food (well that's what they call it) and someone to give her her medicine. She's lucky to see a carer that will sit with her, read her book to her, wash her hair, clean her nails, give her a drink etc.. What are we paying for - their decoration? Where is the fairness in all this, where are her and our human rights to see each other. Carers/staff can bring covid into the home and that doesn't matter and will continue to do so so we end up in a vicious circle of the home closing each time and another 28 days of closures.... this is soul destroying... sorry but not a good day and feeling useless as the MPS don't listen, papers only reporting the 'good visits', all the charities fighting for us but just being given lip service...no wonder we all have mental health issues...

 

[karaokePete]

It is a terrible situation. I hope your mum and you get a visit soon.

I'm sorry that all I can offer is a virtual ((((HUG))))

 

[Meggiemoo]

It is a terrible situation. I hope your mum and you get a visit soon.

I'm sorry that all I can offer is a virtual ((((HUG))))

thank you ... much appreciated

 

[Bikerbeth]

I was complaining about my Mum’s and I am angry but Mum’s Care Home could be considered brilliant compared to your Mum’s. I hope you do get a visit really soon.
I feel for you and wish I could offer something more constructive but do join some of the campaigns going on.
???

 

[Lynmax]

My sister is going to be my mums nominated visitor and has a half hour visit booked for this Sunday. They will be in a seating area in reception, as area that residents do not normally go si I assume the receptionist will be supervising the visit.

We can also have pod visits but these are not good, mum can’t cope with using the microphone and it’s impossible to keep a conversation going while mum gets angrier and angrier. I’m wondering if the pod visits are just upsetting mum and maybe we should stop them.

 

[Jan L]

Due to the struggles I am now having with caring for my Husband, friends tell me that I should put him in a Care Home, then I read these sort of posts and it makes me realise that I must carry on trying to care for my Husband at home, while my own health allows me.

@megglemoo I hope things improve for you and your loved one soon.

 

[Duggies-girl]

I couldn't have coped with this if dad had been in a home, I would have gone out of my mind. I hope you get a good visit and very soon @Meggiemoo

I have seen some of the visits shown on TV and they have bought me to tears, it's inhuman to deprive people of contact.

 

[Banjomansmate]

I wonder what would happen if all the families of self funded residents got together and refused to pay these Care Homes until they put a workable system in place?

 

[Bikerbeth]

I wonder what would happen if all the families of self funded residents got together and refused to pay these Care Homes until they put a workable system in place?

We had a relatives meeting last night and I challenged the length of the 1 hr visit as it includes the time to take the LFT and wait for the results. I stated that this in reality meant perhaps a 30 min visit if all went smoothly. Not one other relative supported me. So my gut feeling is they would not ‘get together’ as they seem scared that their relative will be asked to leave if they kick up a fuss about anything

 

[She-Luna]

It seems that there are as many different rules for visiting as there are care homes! A couple of homes in this area started LFTs ages ago and allow contact visits, another has a 'single relative in a bubble' policy. I was due to see my Mum about 2 weeks ago, a 45 min. session, with the half-hour to have the LFT outside that time. Unfortunately, the room used for visits is on the ground floor, and they needed to get Mum into a wheelchair. This caused her a lot of distress, long story, but the visit was cancelled and she has been bed-bound ever since. She seems to be approaching the late stages as she is on a liquid diet and has trouble swallowing, plus a chest infection which is being treated. I have now been allowed to visit in her room, going in this Friday, which is good. I just hope things ease up in the near future for all residents and their visitors.

 

[Meggiemoo]

thank you all for your good wishes. I have joined all the campaigns going but still we get no commitment from the government. Every now and then they tease us with a date, like christmas, now mothers day, but then he gets taken away. The care homes are abiding by government rules but they interpret them for their own benefit. I can't believe that the Human Rights bill is not able to help us make it against the law to shut us out of seeing our loved ones for a year!