I have very much appreciated people’s supportive replies in the past so time for an update! Mum has now been in the care home just over 2 weeks. There ARE positives, she loves her room and en-suite and has definitely joined in various activities. The home manager and staff have been very responsive and I am satisfied with the activities on offer and their kindness and efficiency. My mother however is constantly saying when is she going home, phones me and my sister on the warpath and has been packing things (not every day though) into any bag she can find! Some of my visits have been ok and she never makes a fuss when I leave, beyond a token objection. I am always trying to emphasise positives and distract from the ‘home’ repeats. She’s had another memory assessment and we’ve definitely been told “right place, right time” by the nurse. A lot of what she says makes no sense at all and she doesn’t really have an idea of time and place and doesn’t seem to think where she is is a care home.
HOWEVER, it’s just hard isn’t it? I hate the idea that my mum is confused and unhappy, and I have spent the last 3 years doing anything I could to help her feel better and now I am saying ‘no’ to her repeatedly. I KNOW we’ve done the right thing and that taking her home with a 24/7 carers team ISN’T an alternative, so this is definitely the permanent solution now, but does this all get easier emotionally??
HOWEVER, it’s just hard isn’t it? I hate the idea that my mum is confused and unhappy, and I have spent the last 3 years doing anything I could to help her feel better and now I am saying ‘no’ to her repeatedly. I KNOW we’ve done the right thing and that taking her home with a 24/7 carers team ISN’T an alternative, so this is definitely the permanent solution now, but does this all get easier emotionally??