Care home selection on cost?

[Pots and Pans]

Sadly we are now definitely at the point where OH needs to move Into residential as it is too much for just me at home. We are self funding, but because OH would not even consider respite I had to involve social services as I was told we might need a best interests meeting or similar. We saw a social worker for the first time yesterday and it was totally clear to her that he needs lots of help.... I had sent her brief notes beforehand listing care needs criteria and what he was unable to do. Then at the meeting he could not identify me as his wife to her, nor remember what he had done earlier in the day, was very unstable on his feet ( I had to help him sit on a chair), lost his temper at one point ( and bruising on my arms evident as he punches out quite a bit,) and declared he needed very little help. Finally he did agree that he would try a very short respite break.
My aim is for respite to become permanent once I can get him there and I have been looking at homes and am on waiting lists for 2 where I feel he would be happy ( both very homey in old buildings he would feel comfortable in and with outdoor accessible space and low staff turnover - but no beds right now,. My fave also has EMI and challenging behaviour is a factor ) plus one other very near which does have vacancies right now but which I didn't like so much ( I need a second look as it was just lack of activity I saw but it may look very different at other times of the day - all else looked fine). But I got clear messages from the SW that:
1. A week respite is agreed... and if it works, it could happen again later ie: I get a week, then back to struggling, then another week sometime... I felt this was her preferred option ( despite safeguarding concerns for me) probably as OH's funds then are spent much slower. Currently I get one day a week funded from carer assessment and OH gets AA that pays for dayclub and other activities but otherwise no other help.
2: not keen on the homes I had looked at since although we are paying, OHs funds will run out after about a year and then the LA would have to pay - she made a definite point of this - so better if I choose a home they have a contract with or he might then have to move.
I pointed out that this was something I had asked each home I visited and the 3 possibles all said they did get LA funding once residents funds ran out and did not need to move anyone or get top-ups. SW did not agree... though did not deny.
Clearly I wouldn't want OH to get settled then have to move, but should I stick to my guns and go for the home I like best now? Is it possible the care homes are not entirely truthful? Or the situation changing as more and more people need care paid for? Or is council just thinking 100% of money so aiming for cheapest and not my OHs best interests? If his Alzheimer's progresses rapidly in the next year or once he is in care, would it even matter much if he then moved? I am thinking of right now finding best for him and fight battle over funding in the future if necessary. But would I be better looking at LA-funded home nearby ( I know the one she wants and it may well be fine so I won't rule out till seen) so no future battle required. Hate to feel I have to choose based on cost at this point ...
Will talk to helpline adviser about this but wonder if others had similar experiences with social workers?

 

[Sarasa]

I have no experience with social workers when it comes to choosing a home. I naively just found one I liked and moved mum there. I didn't consider the implications around capacity. As it was the Deprivation of Liberty Safeguarding procedure determined that mum no longer had capacity. It sounds like your husband is much more advanced than my mother was, and you also have the issues around your own safety, so I'd try to get something sorted as soon as possible.
I wouldn't dismiss the place the social worker mentioned, go and have a look at it. I'd also be concerned that not all homes would take him. Nice homes are 'nice' for the reason they often only take easy to manage residents. Also some homes want to see proof of three years worth of funds, so again might not take him.
I'm sure those who have sorted out a home using social workers will be along with their experiences very soon.

 

[canary]

This is a complicated situation @Pots and Pans
My mum went straight from hospital to her care home via reablement and a Best Interest meeting at the end decided that she should stay there, so I dont have the same experience, but may I make a couple of comments?

is council just thinking 100% of money so aiming for cheapest and not my OHs best interests?

The council will have a set rate for care homes, so will pay exactly the same whether it is the cheapest care home or the most expensive one. Not all care homes will accept this rate, so will either not accept LA funding at all, or will require "top-up" fees. If you have got three care home who will accept LA funding and not require top-ups, then it will make no different to the council which one he ends up in.

We are self funding, but because OH would not even consider respite I had to involve social services as I was told we might need a best interests meeting. - [my bold]

This may well be the reason why the SW is pushing for respite to start with, as it is probably considered the "least restrictive option"

have been looking at homes and am on waiting lists for 2 where I feel he would be happy ( both very homey in old buildings he would feel comfortable in and with outdoor accessible space and low staff turnover - but no beds right now,

If there are no beds, then he cant go there, whether its permanent or respite and it sounds like you need respite now.

Why not take a look at the care home the SW is suggesting and see what you think? You could accept respite there to give you a break now while you wait until the time when a bed is available in your preferred home.
You might even decide that, actually, it suits him very well and decide to keep him there. The home my mum ended up in was one that I had mentally discounted when I was originally looking at care homes, but by the time she reached the end of the reablement period it was obvious that this was actually the best place for her.

 

[Pots and Pans]

This is a complicated situation @Pots and Pans
My mum went straight from hospital to her care home via reablement and a Best Interest meeting at the end decided that she should stay there, so I dont have the same experience, but may I make a couple of comments?


The council will have a set rate for care homes, so will pay exactly the same whether it is the cheapest care home or the most expensive one. Not all care homes will accept this rate, so will either not accept LA funding at all, or will require "top-up" fees. If you have got three care home who will accept LA funding and not require top-ups, then it will make no different to the council which one he ends up in.

This may well be the reason why the SW is pushing for respite to start with, as it is probably considered the "least restrictive option"

If there are no beds, then he cant go there, whether its permanent or respite and it sounds like you need respite now.

Why not take a look at the care home the SW is suggesting and see what you think? You could accept respite there to give you a break now while you wait until the time when a bed is available in your preferred home.
You might even decide that, actually, it suits him very well and decide to keep him there. The home my mum ended up in was one that I had mentally discounted when I was originally looking at care homes, but by the time she reached the end of the reablement period it was obvious that this was actually the best place for her.

Thank you. Yes, will look. Maybe u am looking with abate in knowing my husband as was, not as now is. Si I know which environment he would have preferred... but he is no longer that man, so if needs met..
Slight confusion still though as I looked up home recommended and their site says self funders and then LA with topups! Will need to clarify . .