My mother-in-law is currently living in privately owned/self funded sheltered “independent living” accommodation, receiving 4 times a day visits from the residential care team. However the care she receives is no longer sufficient for her needs ( not just for her dementia/reducing mental capacity but also her very limited mobility and incontinence).
She originally said she wanted to move nearer to us and recognised/realised she needed more care.
After a lot of extensive research, my husband and I found an excellent care home for her, that is near our home. We very feel confident she will be a lot happier, safer and well looked after there.
All was going great until we took her for a viewing of the care home last Sunday (under strict Covid conditions/precautions of course).
Sadly she is now resisting wanting to leave where she currently lives - we have tried to explain that this decision may get taken out of her hands anyway as social services may say she has to leave due to her increased care needs but she isn’t understanding the situation. She does not realise she has dementia so doesn’t understand that her needs are going to increase as her mental capacity declines further.
Despite the dementia she is a very strong woman and also we are having feelings of guilt about placing her in the care home/making her leave her current home now that she is resisting. The frustrating thing is we feel that when she moves to the care home she will be a lot happier ( more company with high level of living care) and will be much safer (24 hour care).
She can’t live with us as we aren’t able to accommodate her immobility needs and paid live- in care isn’t an option either.
Has anyone experienced a similar situation with their loved one and/or any advice on how to handle this - we feel like it’s a race against time to get her in the care home as fear the longer she stays where she’s living currently means there’s an increasing danger of her falling/going in hospital and not coming out again ? - the care provided there is NOT/NO LONGER right for her needs anymore. Do we get social services involved?
She originally said she wanted to move nearer to us and recognised/realised she needed more care.
After a lot of extensive research, my husband and I found an excellent care home for her, that is near our home. We very feel confident she will be a lot happier, safer and well looked after there.
All was going great until we took her for a viewing of the care home last Sunday (under strict Covid conditions/precautions of course).
Sadly she is now resisting wanting to leave where she currently lives - we have tried to explain that this decision may get taken out of her hands anyway as social services may say she has to leave due to her increased care needs but she isn’t understanding the situation. She does not realise she has dementia so doesn’t understand that her needs are going to increase as her mental capacity declines further.
Despite the dementia she is a very strong woman and also we are having feelings of guilt about placing her in the care home/making her leave her current home now that she is resisting. The frustrating thing is we feel that when she moves to the care home she will be a lot happier ( more company with high level of living care) and will be much safer (24 hour care).
She can’t live with us as we aren’t able to accommodate her immobility needs and paid live- in care isn’t an option either.
Has anyone experienced a similar situation with their loved one and/or any advice on how to handle this - we feel like it’s a race against time to get her in the care home as fear the longer she stays where she’s living currently means there’s an increasing danger of her falling/going in hospital and not coming out again ? - the care provided there is NOT/NO LONGER right for her needs anymore. Do we get social services involved?