Mum was moved into a care home from hospital 10 days ago after we were advised that she had reached the point where she needed 24 hour care.
She is in a specialist dementia home which we were very happy with when we went to view it.
We were advised to let her settle in for a week or two before seeing her so our first visit was yesterday.
What we found was quite upsetting but I'm not sure, having no previous experience of this, whether it's what we should have expected or if we should have concerns. We haven't yet spoken to the staff and manager about this.
She was sitting in her room and was visibly distressed and upset. She claimed that the staff, when she saw them, were not very nice and were ill treating her but that she was being left on her own most of the time. Her underwear was damp (she was not wearing incontinence pants), she was quite "smelly" and did not look very clean. Her room also looked as if it had not been recently cleaned.
We have called the home almost every day since she went in and we were told that, after being upset on her first day, she was settling in quite well, although preferred to spend her time in her room, she was accepting help with washing and dressing etc.
Over the weekend we were told that she was complaining of back pain, refusing to get out of bed and eating very little so she was referred for a doctor's visit on Monday. He has prescribed antibiotics (in case of a UTI) and painkillers.
I must add that my mother can be very stubborn and awkward and she can be verbally aggressive.
I suppose what I would like advice on is:
Should we be concerned about her claims of ill treatment or is this something that other forum members relatives have said when they have first gone into a home?
Should the carers be making more effort with her with her personal hygiene and incontinence issues - are they only allowed to use persuasion if my mother refuses their help?
Our first reaction on seeing her was that we had made a mistake in moving her into a home and that we should have tried a care at home "package" but I realise that this could be a heart over head thing.
Any advice and comments would be much appreciated.
She is in a specialist dementia home which we were very happy with when we went to view it.
We were advised to let her settle in for a week or two before seeing her so our first visit was yesterday.
What we found was quite upsetting but I'm not sure, having no previous experience of this, whether it's what we should have expected or if we should have concerns. We haven't yet spoken to the staff and manager about this.
She was sitting in her room and was visibly distressed and upset. She claimed that the staff, when she saw them, were not very nice and were ill treating her but that she was being left on her own most of the time. Her underwear was damp (she was not wearing incontinence pants), she was quite "smelly" and did not look very clean. Her room also looked as if it had not been recently cleaned.
We have called the home almost every day since she went in and we were told that, after being upset on her first day, she was settling in quite well, although preferred to spend her time in her room, she was accepting help with washing and dressing etc.
Over the weekend we were told that she was complaining of back pain, refusing to get out of bed and eating very little so she was referred for a doctor's visit on Monday. He has prescribed antibiotics (in case of a UTI) and painkillers.
I must add that my mother can be very stubborn and awkward and she can be verbally aggressive.
I suppose what I would like advice on is:
Should we be concerned about her claims of ill treatment or is this something that other forum members relatives have said when they have first gone into a home?
Should the carers be making more effort with her with her personal hygiene and incontinence issues - are they only allowed to use persuasion if my mother refuses their help?
Our first reaction on seeing her was that we had made a mistake in moving her into a home and that we should have tried a care at home "package" but I realise that this could be a heart over head thing.
Any advice and comments would be much appreciated.