• All threads and posts regarding Coronavirus COVID-19 can be found in our area specifically for Coronavirus COVID-19 discussion.

    You can directly access this area >here<.

Care Home Problems

Di*

Registered User
Sep 25, 2015
37
0
Cornwall
`Hubby was taken into hospital for assessment for a month and the care he received was outstanding. The hospital were in constant contact , firstly finding out all about him, his history, likes, dislikes, the lot.

Then he has been moved to a care home. He has been there a month and my last visit he looked so neglected that I was shocked. I didn't recognise him, until he spoke. He hadn't had a shave for about a week (and I used to let him go about 4 days before spending some time cajoling him into a shave, so know what 4 days growth looks like) he was in pyjamas, no slippers, his nails needed cutting and he wasn't wearing his hearing aid ... again!

I've been in touch with the CPN and the Home Manager and told them I was very concerned about the neglect that I could see and was now worried about what I couldn't see. They are being addressed, but quite honestly I can't find any reason for it that is acceptable. I'm taking it further with Safeguarding and CQC.

I'm constantly asking about the hearing aid and off the staff disappear to look and never reappear. When I was talking about it they said he didn't arrive at the home from the hospital with his hearing aid, but I've seen it in at least once ... and I've seen a different one in once .. and thought that he had been taken to audiology and received a new one ... but now realise it must be someone's elses

Has anyone had this happen and how did you resolve it and how.

I'd be very glad of your input.
 

deepetshopboy

Registered User
Jul 7, 2008
488
0
Can you start looking your self at a nee place ? I think if yout self funding you can easily move
Cqc for complaining and local safeguard team in council
Did you raise it with the manager he should be shaved and clean
do social services pay ? can you raise it with social services
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
73,412
0
Kent
Hello @Di*

whatever happens from now re safeguarding and you report to the CQC. I doubt you’ll ever feel sure about the care home now and I can only suggest you try to find somewhere better as soon as possible.

I moved my mother when I was unhappy about her care and it was the best decision I could have made
 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
1,473
0
Hello @Di*

I am not excusing the care home, and I of course do not know what your husband is like, but it might be useful for me to approach this from a different angle. I know that residents can resist personal care at times and wonder if this is the reason for your husband's disheveled appearance. My mum has at times looked terrible but I know that sometimes she just refuses to let anyone wash her hair or go anywhere near her nails. She will also sometimes scream if anyone tries to shower her and the staff know to normally do a "strip wash" at her bedroom sink, as this is what she prefers. An occasional bath takes place when mum is in the mood. There is a male resident at mum's care home who will only let the manager shave him (the manager is male) and he has to pick his time very carefully.

I also know that residents sometimes swap hearing aids or put them in odd places.

Personally, I would give the care home time to address your concerns and chance to improve if your husband seems happy there. If he does not, then yes looking for an alternative may be a good idea.
 
Last edited:

Susan11

Registered User
Nov 18, 2018
3,665
0
`Hubby was taken into hospital for assessment for a month and the care he received was outstanding. The hospital were in constant contact , firstly finding out all about him, his history, likes, dislikes, the lot.

Then he has been moved to a care home. He has been there a month and my last visit he looked so neglected that I was shocked. I didn't recognise him, until he spoke. He hadn't had a shave for about a week (and I used to let him go about 4 days before spending some time cajoling him into a shave, so know what 4 days growth looks like) he was in pyjamas, no slippers, his nails needed cutting and he wasn't wearing his hearing aid ... again!

I've been in touch with the CPN and the Home Manager and told them I was very concerned about the neglect that I could see and was now worried about what I couldn't see. They are being addressed, but quite honestly I can't find any reason for it that is acceptable. I'm taking it further with Safeguarding and CQC.

I'm constantly asking about the hearing aid and off the staff disappear to look and never reappear. When I was talking about it they said he didn't arrive at the home from the hospital with his hearing aid, but I've seen it in at least once ... and I've seen a different one in once .. and thought that he had been taken to audiology and received a new one ... but now realise it must be someone's elses

Has anyone had this happen and how did you resolve it and how.

I'd be very glad of your input.
I found my Mum's hearing aids went astray regularly in her otherwise excellent Care Home. I built up a relationship with the NHS audiologist . She had extra moulds made. Two she kept and 2 were kept in the Care Home office. I found it easier to arrange spares as it's almost impossible to stop them going missing especially as Mum would play with them so they often fell out. I'm afraid things do go missing in Care Homes. It's a continual problem.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
4,407
0
Southampton
it might get dislodged when they take his clothes off. its very easy to hide it in clothing. you need to talk to the manager and find out how he is with the carers and the routine. i dont like my husband unshaven so can emphasize with you
 

Di*

Registered User
Sep 25, 2015
37
0
Cornwall
Can you start looking your self at a nee place ? I think if yout self funding you can easily move
Cqc for complaining and local safeguard team in council
Did you raise it with the manager he should be shaved and clean
do social services pay ? can you raise it with social services
We aren't self funding and I'm trying to contact the people responsible. Think it could be the CPN, but not 100% sure. A learning curve that's for sure.
 

Di*

Registered User
Sep 25, 2015
37
0
Cornwall
Hello @Di*

whatever happens from now re safeguarding and you report to the CQC. I doubt you’ll ever feel sure about the care home now and I can only suggest you try to find somewhere better as soon as possible.

I moved my mother when I was unhappy about her care and it was the best decision I could have made
I'm worried about a move in case its out of the frying pan into the fire. I haven't any experience of nursing homes and perhaps they are all like this.
 

Di*

Registered User
Sep 25, 2015
37
0
Cornwall
Hello @Di*

I am not excusing the care home, and I of course do not know what your husband is like, but it might be useful for me to approach this from a different angle. I know that residents can resist personal care at times and wonder if this is the reason for your husband's disheveled appearance. My mum has at times looked terrible but I know that sometimes she just refuses to let anyone wash her hair or go anywhere near her nails. She will also sometimes scream if anyone tries to shower her and the staff know to normally do a "strip wash" at her bedroom sink, as this is what she prefers. An occasional bath takes place when mum is in the mood. There is a male resident at mum's care home who will only let the manager shave him (the manager is male) and he has to pick his time very carefully.

I also know that residents sometimes swap hearing aids or put them in odd places.

Personally, I would give the care home time to address your concerns and chance to improve if your husband seems happy there. If he does not, then yes looking for an alternative may be a good idea.
Yes I can totally see where you are coming from and I have not commented on visits where he hasn't been shaved, got clean clothes on, had nails cut , not been wearing his hearing aid etc. Until this last time where he had grown a beard and he is close shaven so I knew he hadn't had much personal care. There must be a few occasions during a week where he would be amenable to having a shave. I don't think they tried.

Same with hearing aids going missing. If I had a pound note for every time I had to search for it, I'd be a millionaire. But the home weren't even aware he had one and he'd been there for a month despite it being on his notes that he is totally deaf without them.

Honestly. There is no excuse on their part.
 

Di*

Registered User
Sep 25, 2015
37
0
Cornwall
I found my Mum's hearing aids went astray regularly in her otherwise excellent Care Home. I built up a relationship with the NHS audiologist . She had extra moulds made. Two she kept and 2 were kept in the Care Home office. I found it easier to arrange spares as it's almost impossible to stop them going missing especially as Mum would play with them so they often fell out. I'm afraid things do go missing in Care Homes. It's a continual problem.
I think something like this might have to be organised.
 

Chaplin

Registered User
May 24, 2015
116
0
Bristol
Thank you all for your replies. Its very helpful to have other opinions and thoughts.
I’m sorry for the situation you and your husband are dealing with. My mum recently moved to a new nursing home after suffering a stroke. She spent over 5 weeks in hospital and social services gave me 4 assessment homes to look at for mum. Sadly after her stroke her previous care home refused to take her back and after a year of being locked out due to Covid, we were glad she was not returning! The standards had deteriorated during the past year and mum was admitted to hospital with such a severe UTI it looked like red wine and she had an impacted bowel, this has been raised as a safeguarding issue.
The nursing home we wanted mum to move to is very popular and has a waiting list. I ignored the advice of the social worker and called the care home manager. She asked lots of questions about my mum and her needs and she said that sadly they had two residents on EOL and thought they could potentially offer mum a room in a week or so. Mum moved in around 4 weeks ago and although her dementia has progressed this past year and cannot walk due to the stroke, my mum is less anxious, is eating well, always looks clean and well presented on each of our regular visits. So you see sometimes as daunting as another move may be, you have to put your husband’s care and your peace of mind as the priority. Care homes tell us often they’re the experts so they should know how to cajole your husband into accepting personal care. Would he prefer a male Carer to assist with certain things? My mum will not accept help from male Carers and the home accommodate this to maintain her dignity! Do you have a social worker? Take care of yourself, it’s a very stressful time for you both so look after your health too.
 

Lone Wolf

Registered User
Sep 20, 2020
162
0
Thank you all for your replies. Its very helpful to have other opinions and thoughts.
You have a very good case for essential care giver status:

Essential care giver
Some residents may have a care or support need that cannot easily be provided by care home staff, or not without causing distress.
The government is advising that care homes should offer the ‘essential care giver’ scheme. It will not be necessary for everyone. These visitors will be able to visit more often in order to provide essential care. They will have the same testing and PPE arrangements as care home staff.
If you think your loved one would benefit from this type of visit, you should speak to the care home.

 

Di*

Registered User
Sep 25, 2015
37
0
Cornwall
I’m sorry for the situation you and your husband are dealing with. My mum recently moved to a new nursing home after suffering a stroke. She spent over 5 weeks in hospital and social services gave me 4 assessment homes to look at for mum. Sadly after her stroke her previous care home refused to take her back and after a year of being locked out due to Covid, we were glad she was not returning! The standards had deteriorated during the past year and mum was admitted to hospital with such a severe UTI it looked like red wine and she had an impacted bowel, this has been raised as a safeguarding issue.
The nursing home we wanted mum to move to is very popular and has a waiting list. I ignored the advice of the social worker and called the care home manager. She asked lots of questions about my mum and her needs and she said that sadly they had two residents on EOL and thought they could potentially offer mum a room in a week or so. Mum moved in around 4 weeks ago and although her dementia has progressed this past year and cannot walk due to the stroke, my mum is less anxious, is eating well, always looks clean and well presented on each of our regular visits. So you see sometimes as daunting as another move may be, you have to put your husband’s care and your peace of mind as the priority. Care homes tell us often they’re the experts so they should know how to cajole your husband into accepting personal care. Would he prefer a male Carer to assist with certain things? My mum will not accept help from male Carers and the home accommodate this to maintain her dignity! Do you have a social worker? Take care of yourself, it’s a very stressful time for you both so look after your health too.
Thank you. I have asked the CPN for a home closer but she said there were no vacancies. But I think I will persist. Hubby went off with a male nurse once to the loo and came back very agitated .. and needed to go again with the same result. Not seeing what goes on I wasn't able to say it was the toilet trip or the male nurse that prompted the agitation.

I am finding it extremely stressful ... goodness only knows how hubby is feeling.
 

Di*

Registered User
Sep 25, 2015
37
0
Cornwall
You have a very good case for essential care giver status:

Essential care giver
Some residents may have a care or support need that cannot easily be provided by care home staff, or not without causing distress.
The government is advising that care homes should offer the ‘essential care giver’ scheme. It will not be necessary for everyone. These visitors will be able to visit more often in order to provide essential care. They will have the same testing and PPE arrangements as care home staff.
If you think your loved one would benefit from this type of visit, you should speak to the care home.

Thank you for that information. I will read it and digest. It could be very helpful. It is so frustrating not to be able to get in and help as I know I could tempt him to do personal care easier and would have the time too.
 

Susan11

Registered User
Nov 18, 2018
3,665
0
I think something like this might have to be organised.
Also the Care Home probably won't cut his toe nails. You need to contact the doctor and ask them to put him on the NHS Chiropodists home visit list
 

Di*

Registered User
Sep 25, 2015
37
0
Cornwall
Also the Care Home probably won't cut his toe nails. You need to contact the doctor and ask them to put him on the NHS Chiropodists home visit list
Thank you. Hubby has already had a chiropodist visit organised by them

it would be so handy to have a welcome pack with all the information needed. I’ve heard nothing. All know is I have to book a slot to visit for one hour
 

Lone Wolf

Registered User
Sep 20, 2020
162
0
Hello again @Di*


I have a lot of sympathy for your situation because I have been through it myself. When your loved one first goes into a care home as a last resort, it can take a long time for them to settle, and you the carer are on a steep learning curve of what are acceptable standards of care and what are not, with inevitable compromises against your own standards, all exacerbated by covid visitor restrictions.


Whatever anxiety you are feeling about the situation, it will be lessened by doing something about it. And a good start will be to ask the care home manager for ESG status, on the basis that they are evidently not successfully achieving hubby's basic care needs. If you can get regular in room access, you will be placed to judge the situation.


Is hubby being funded by NHS or local council? Either way, do not be fobbed off by the authority saying there are no other suitable local homes. Start looking yourself, speaking to care home managers about vacancies (many are seeking residents now after the "ring of steel" protection), suitability for hubby's needs and whether they would accept the funding source. There are many on this forum who can give practical advice re assessing the quality of a care home.


More immediately, I highly recommend phoning the Admiral Nurse helpline. I have used it and found it extremely helpful - have always had to leave my name and number but they always called back.
Looking for information or advice about dementia or Alzheimer’s? Call our Dementia Helpline for free on 0800 888 6678 for support from our dementia specialist Admiral Nurses. The Helpline is open from 9am to 9pm Monday to Friday and 9am to 5pm on Saturday to Sunday.
 

Members online

No members online now.

Forum statistics

Threads
119,446
Messages
1,749,955
Members
70,354
Latest member
Molly94