Hi Numbers, and welcome to TP. I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. This is a difficult and stressful time for you and your family.
I wanted to reassure you that by being concerned about your father, and what is best for him, and that his needs will be met, you are indeed doing right by him. If you didn't care, you wouldn't be here asking for advice.
Please do not think you are a terrible person because a care home is being considered. You're not. You're a caring person trying to do the right thing for your father, who has a terrible disease. This is not your fault, it's the fault of the disease.
Perhaps if you had more information from the hospital/doctors it might be easier to see what the options are, in terms of providing the right sort of care for your dad. As others have mentioned, if someone is a fall risk and needs 24/7 supervision, that is difficult to provide at home. It's also important to consider if the home is suitable and safe, i.e., what about stairs, grab bars in the bathroom, proper lighting, removing anything hazardous, et cetera.
In addition, might he need:
-medication supervision/dispension
-meals provided, and making sure he eats
-help with bathing, dressing, and personal care
-help with toileting
-assistance with other medical conditions or needs (dialysis, wound care, eyedrops, you name it)
-assistance with opening mail, paying bills, and managing finances
-cleaning and laundry
-someone to do the shopping
-transport to appointments
And the list goes on. I don't mean to overwhelm you, but at some point in dementia, our family members need help with these things. You don't have to personally do it all yourself, of course, but arrangements do need to be made.
It's also difficult because of course the person with dementia will almost always say they want to stay at home, and that they are "fine." And of course the thing with this horrible disease is that they are not fine, but they do not know they are not fine.
Sometimes an illness or accident, especially when it leads to a hospital stay, is what has to happen to get the person the care they need. I live in the States so our system is different to yours, but that part is still true. If my mother hadn't been sent to hospital (after being found wandering, disoriented, no coat in January, having fallen), and then the hospital said she needed a care home, she would still be living alone at home, insisting she was okay. In reality, she couldn't take her medications properly, which caused no end of problems. She wasn't eating or bathing or sleeping, the house was filthy and cluttered, and she was spending most of her time alone, isolated, and anxious. She was barely paying the bills and had started giving money out to every "charity" that called or knocked. She was still driving and I was terrified she would kill herself or someone else. But she insisted she was fine!
Now she is in a care home 15 minutes from me, instead of 2 hours, and she is SAFE, her medications are given to her on time, she eats 3 nutritious meals a day, and she always has someone to talk to. Her anxiety is gone. Did I want her to go to a care home? Emotionally, no, but practically speaking, yes. For the first time in years, I'm not worrying about her safety and health every minute of the day.
Sorry for the long personal story, but it gives you an idea.
There are members here with family who live at home, with carers, and others who provide the caregiving in their own homes, as well as those of us with family members in care homes. There's lots of information, advice, and support available. Please don't hesitate to ask. No one here will judge you about what you're experiencing. If you get a chance, please come back and let us know how you get on.
Wishing you all the best at this difficult time.