Care home / nursing home


Registered User
Feb 2, 2019
My MIL was diagnosed with vascular dementia 2017 although symptoms have been developing since around 2011 but both she and my FIL avoided any discussion for years explaining her behaviour as depression following the death of her sister with Alzheimer’s. She became obsessed with walking ( nowhere in particular for hours on end ) until incontinence prevented this but she “imagined” a bad back and used this to explain stopping walking . The last two years have shown such changes in behaviour - insensitivity, rudeness , antisocial , eating only sweet foods ( size 12 - size 16 ) when previously very healthy and argumentative and aggressive behaviour. She is in a CH with a dementia unit following an emergency at Christmas and my FIL being unable to cope . The CH have been great so far but my MIL and her behaviour less so . Her medication is being monitored but she is still aggressive and it is getting worse . Social services have telephoned four times to discuss her behaviour/ CH. it has been suggested she may need a NH instead . Currently self funded but NH would be paid for ? Who decides ? What level of challenging behaviour is not acceptable to a CH but is acceptable in a NH ?


Registered User
Aug 24, 2013
In short the home decide, they decide what's acceptable for them and what isn't there are no hard and fast rules..
My wife was sectioned and so some homes just said no on that basis, but would see her and then decide if they'd take her or not.
Nursing homes have a nurse on site 24/7 and people who have variable moods and medication needed "PRM" or as needed need the professional care of a nurse on site to make decisions like that as experienced but unqualified care staff can't be expected to make the call.
The home can decide for itself what they deem acceptable an if there doesn't appear to be any national guidelines they have to follow.
Some "care homes" are little more than residential homes and will ask you to leave for being incontinent or wandering, some will take these conditions, the level of "challenging" behaviour is something the home defines for itself.
If you do go into a nursing home then you can apply for Funded Nursing Care (FNC) which is £155 per week paid to the home to cover the nursing side of the care and needing to monitor medication and manage aggressive behaviour sounds to me like a nursing need.
Best work with the home and social service and accept what they say and what they can suggest than have the home give you notice or "manufacture" a visit to A&E then refuse to take her back, whole an of worms but it does happen, I've seen it more than once.
The worse scenario is that they have to section her but that was a really positive experience for my wife as it's all done under the NHS and the care she got under section for 6 months was the best ever, it was possibly the only solution to her increasingly violent behaviour and worked well enough to mean she could go into nursing home care.
You talk like care homes and nursing homes have a strict set of rules they follow, they don't. it's up to them, currently the home my wife's in isn't taking anyone too difficult as they're up to quota on difficult residents and they do it on a points system, more points equals more staff so I can guarantee the next new residents we get will be none too challenging.
Right now the best friend you've probably got is social services, they know the score and they only tell you what they want you to know, but up their sleeve they know or can find places at the drop of a hat if they need or want to.