Hi everyone,
Apologies for a long post - please bear with me! I would just like to get some opinions from people that understand the situation we're in.
Basically Mum has EOAD, possibly Lewys Bodies, and after a steady decline for several years had a rapid deterioration last October and had to go in to a care home at the end of the year. This was all quite sudden and done as an emergency. We found a home that we were happy with but they didn't have spaces at the time, so she went in to a linked home on a respite basis. As it turned out, Mum settled in the respite home really well, so we made that arrangement permanent. Fast forward five months and Mum had worsened even more, and that home (which was just a care home, not nursing) said they couldn't cope with Mum any more and they were moving her to the linked home - the original one we had chosen.
The first home wasn't perfect, and I can see where they struggled - mainly getting mum to take medication and eat her meals. They also weren't trained to deal with her when her behaviour became increasingly challenging and I also suspect some paperwork might not have been 100% up to date. BUT the carers were always very caring and I really did feel like the majority of them had Mum's best interests at heart. They would always show an interest in our family's wellbeing and it was common to find a carer painting someones nails, reading a paper to someone, or leading a singsong (on top of the more formal activities).
Anyway, Mum has been in the new home for four months now. It's a nursing home and I do feel that they've managed to stabilize Mum's weight loss and are more on top of the health care side of things. Mum is generally always clean (with the exception of her nails!!) and dressed in her own clothes (we found this a rarity in the previous home as things got mixed up!). I don't have any concerns that I can particularly put my finger on, and certainly don't have any major safeguarding worries, but I just can't help feeling that it's not such a caring environment. Carers appear to do very little actual caring - they will engage with residents to feed them/take them to the toilet etc, but the rest of the time seem to sit around doing paperwork. They've made no effort to get to know me and my family, and when I've tried to engage them they don't seem that interested.
Mum's dementia is extremely severe now and she is incredibly agitated. She spends a lot of them time pacing and shouting for help (even though it's unclear what help she would like). I never see a carer walking with her, trying to calm her, she's generally just left to pace the corridors.
On the one hand I kind of understand - Mum is getting increasingly aggressive and it does seem that having company can often antaganise her further. This home is much bigger than the previous one, and all the residents are severely ill with complex needs, so the need for nursing/medical care is probably greater than the need for the softer side of care, but I just can't help feeling disappointed and like it's just not quite right.
I really don't know what to do about it - a move would be incredibly distressing for Mum which I'm sure would set her back, plus I'm not sure there are many other homes in the area that would even take her given her behavioural challenges. She also receives CHC funding, and I'm not sure how much say we have in moving her when we aren't funding (we don't have a H&W POA annoyingly).
I've got a meeting with the manager of the home set up for a couple of weeks time to see if I can address things with them, but really I'm not even sure what to say to her - it's not like there are examples of anything wrong that I can point to. Just this feeling that there could be more of a culture of compassion and care perhaps.
CONGRATULATIONS if you've read this far, and if you have any thoughts please do let me know, I'd be so grateful to hear what people have to say!
Apologies for a long post - please bear with me! I would just like to get some opinions from people that understand the situation we're in.
Basically Mum has EOAD, possibly Lewys Bodies, and after a steady decline for several years had a rapid deterioration last October and had to go in to a care home at the end of the year. This was all quite sudden and done as an emergency. We found a home that we were happy with but they didn't have spaces at the time, so she went in to a linked home on a respite basis. As it turned out, Mum settled in the respite home really well, so we made that arrangement permanent. Fast forward five months and Mum had worsened even more, and that home (which was just a care home, not nursing) said they couldn't cope with Mum any more and they were moving her to the linked home - the original one we had chosen.
The first home wasn't perfect, and I can see where they struggled - mainly getting mum to take medication and eat her meals. They also weren't trained to deal with her when her behaviour became increasingly challenging and I also suspect some paperwork might not have been 100% up to date. BUT the carers were always very caring and I really did feel like the majority of them had Mum's best interests at heart. They would always show an interest in our family's wellbeing and it was common to find a carer painting someones nails, reading a paper to someone, or leading a singsong (on top of the more formal activities).
Anyway, Mum has been in the new home for four months now. It's a nursing home and I do feel that they've managed to stabilize Mum's weight loss and are more on top of the health care side of things. Mum is generally always clean (with the exception of her nails!!) and dressed in her own clothes (we found this a rarity in the previous home as things got mixed up!). I don't have any concerns that I can particularly put my finger on, and certainly don't have any major safeguarding worries, but I just can't help feeling that it's not such a caring environment. Carers appear to do very little actual caring - they will engage with residents to feed them/take them to the toilet etc, but the rest of the time seem to sit around doing paperwork. They've made no effort to get to know me and my family, and when I've tried to engage them they don't seem that interested.
Mum's dementia is extremely severe now and she is incredibly agitated. She spends a lot of them time pacing and shouting for help (even though it's unclear what help she would like). I never see a carer walking with her, trying to calm her, she's generally just left to pace the corridors.
On the one hand I kind of understand - Mum is getting increasingly aggressive and it does seem that having company can often antaganise her further. This home is much bigger than the previous one, and all the residents are severely ill with complex needs, so the need for nursing/medical care is probably greater than the need for the softer side of care, but I just can't help feeling disappointed and like it's just not quite right.
I really don't know what to do about it - a move would be incredibly distressing for Mum which I'm sure would set her back, plus I'm not sure there are many other homes in the area that would even take her given her behavioural challenges. She also receives CHC funding, and I'm not sure how much say we have in moving her when we aren't funding (we don't have a H&W POA annoyingly).
I've got a meeting with the manager of the home set up for a couple of weeks time to see if I can address things with them, but really I'm not even sure what to say to her - it's not like there are examples of anything wrong that I can point to. Just this feeling that there could be more of a culture of compassion and care perhaps.
CONGRATULATIONS if you've read this far, and if you have any thoughts please do let me know, I'd be so grateful to hear what people have to say!