Hi everyone! I have read with interest the comments and feelings of all above and feel i cannot pass by without adding how i feel as a daughter of a 91 year old mum with alziemers.
My mum lived in sheltered housing independently with just help when she needed it from us. We went out on day trips and holidays together, shopped and lunched together, saw each other or spoke on the phone everyday. Then in 2016 I realised that she was getting more forgetful and unable to cope as she could before. By February 2017 she had been diagnosed and she began to have falls resulting in long hospital stays and It was time to find a care home. I found a lovely small friendly home for her to move to. She took a while to settle and we went through when the stage of when am i going home but she settled in and so did i. I was made to feel so welcome. I would visit three times a week, join in activities, even organise activities for the residents to do. My way of giving something back. Like all of you I am sure, I did not just talk to my mum I chatted to all the residents especially those who didn't get many visitors. Also I became friends with other residences family and we supported each other.
Lockdown took all that away and it is still happening!
For two years we have abided by Covid rules which created the further problem of isolation especially for residents. I know one lady who just gave up, she would talked to every visitor who walked through the door My mum didn't fair well and the staff were worried how I would react when I first saw her after the first four months of lockdown had kept me away. Her mobility, coordination and eyesight have suffered but again lockdown had prevented physio visits and eye appointments going ahead. During this time my mum was actually assaulted in bed by another resident through the night and ended up with a black eye. The Doctor was phoned but he didn't come out. Did these events play their part in her speedy decline? I think so!
I am lucky enough to still have my mum and I visit her by appointment, in her room, but only on my own every week.
Other relatives who would randomly drop by have not seen her for two years. She thinks they have forgotton her!
We have missed so much special time with my mum, celebrating her 90th, our get togethers at Christmas and my cousin and i taking her out for lunch every month. I am never going to get those times back.
Have the homes not sadly learnt what damage isolation does? Please can we get back to how it was not just for your residents but for us their loved ones too.