Care Home Move Going OK - Feeling more positive for sure

Donkeyshere

Registered User
May 25, 2016
459
channel islands
So its been one whole week since MIL went into home and we are getting used to it - they have noticed a difference in me at work as I keep talking to myself! (in a good way!). Taking up MIL''s furniture tomorrow and taking my little dog to see her for 10 mins on Saturday. Going to clear her annex a bit more over the weekend I think my son has his eye on it! Bank have sorted the standing order ok as agreed for the finance side - works differently to UK but still have to cover a "top up" for care home fees.

Youngest son is doing so well at his new job at school in the UK he has covered 5 lessons today. Put my car on the local facebook page and had so much interest it was crazy - the sale funds are going to the son in UK to buy a car there - was too hard to import from the island to the UK!

Given all the new care home details to the Invisible and the Interfering cousin by text - not even a thank you. At least I no longer have to ever have them on our property again.

Told all of MIL's three friends of the move and they all said it was the right thing to do moving her to care home - they are going to pop in and visit when they can - though one is 93 with dodgy legs and relies on her friend of 88 with Parkinsons to get them there!

So thats about it for now - got Waitrose to assist with my valentines meal for tomorrow - so if I post tomorrow and make no sense after 7 pm apologies that'll be the G&T, prosecco or wine (or maybe all 3!) Cheers!
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
70,347
Kent
I`m really pleased for you @Donkeyshere.

I`m sure it will help others to read your update when they are in a similar situation and dreading having to decide on residential care.
 

Canadian Joanne

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 8, 2005
16,235
65
Toronto, Canada
Good news. Did you warn the home about the interferring cousin? Mind you, I once tried to waarn a new employee about my dreaded aunt and she was very polite but obviously thought it was just one of those family things. My aunt did harass her but I did try to warn her!
 

jugglingmum

Registered User
Jan 5, 2014
5,498
Chester
All sounds very positive. Will the care home be able to let you know if interfering cousin or her other son have visited? I have to ask the care team if my brother has visited my mum - his Christmas visit was on 7th Jan - and as I met up with his ex and his kids in early Jan I know he wasn't looking after his kids the whole Christmas period and could have come a bit earlier.

Envy you your 7pm alcohol - I know my time will come but son has Scouts 7 until 9 so parent taxi service required tonight (although one of his friend did tell his parents they weren't providing him with a taxi service as he wasn't paying for it and you have to pay for taxis)
 

Donkeyshere

Registered User
May 25, 2016
459
channel islands
Hi all enjoying glass of prosecco as I type! So the BIL would have to fly over to see the MIL and neither he nor the cousin can do a thing as it was down to SW saying she no longer had capacity and he made the decision as no one had guardianship. So do you think that the BIL will visit after all 1 visit in now 17 months he will bother much! The cousin can visit as often as she likes she cannot interfere with anything now either!

The OH did have a bit of grief from MIL today when taling furniture why had we left her there etc she did not agree to it etc egc but I had prepared him to expect it. She said just make sure you bring the dog tomorrow!

Anyway I'm off my glass of bubbly mix calling!!
 

jugglingmum

Registered User
Jan 5, 2014
5,498
Chester
So the BIL would have to fly over to see the MIL and neither he nor the cousin can do a thing as it was down to SW saying she no longer had capacity and he made the decision as no one had guardianship. So do you think that the BIL will visit after all 1 visit in now 17 months he will bother much! The cousin can visit as often as she likes she cannot interfere with anything now either!
I didn't think they could do anything but I just like to know when brother has been out of curiosity

He has sometimes taken his kids, but mum is so unpredictable and has barely seen his kids I suggested to ex SIL that not a good idea as she might not know them and might upset them as they are 10 and 12 (she would have taken them to see mum as my brother doesn't) - my kids have seen her regularly over the last 6 years but brothers kids have seen her at most at Christmas only for a brief visit so they never knew pre dementia grandma
 

Donkeyshere

Registered User
May 25, 2016
459
channel islands
I didn't think they could do anything but I just like to know when brother has been out of curiosity

He has sometimes taken his kids, but mum is so unpredictable and has barely seen his kids I suggested to ex SIL that not a good idea as she might not know them and might upset them as they are 10 and 12 (she would have taken them to see mum as my brother doesn't) - my kids have seen her regularly over the last 6 years but brothers kids have seen her at most at Christmas only for a brief visit so they never knew pre dementia grandma

Our invisible BIL has only ever come out of the woodwork when money has been involved and he had something to gain. As he is no longer in the running for anymore he has effectively wound down his visits only to give us grief, long story. Now he has nothing more to gain and all efforts to get at us via solicitors have not come to anything, he had disappeared. We have considered asking him to assist with the care fees but think that would be a futile text!!!