Hi everyone. I am new to this. My lovely Mum is 83 and has reached the later stages of Alzheimers - there is very little of her left. Like the photo in Back to the Future where the family start to disappear. Anyway, I digress. Mum has been in hospital for three weeks after a fall - she is not processing pain very well and although there is no sign of any injury she cries out in pain when touched and cannot stand unaided or accept physio help. She was in care home with her own double bed and the home decided she needed a higher level of care and said they would get her a medical bed but now they are saying they will not take her back as they cannot provide what she needs. I am heart broken as another move will confuse her more. She is also at the end of the threshold financially where her care will have to be funded now and the care home know this. She is now stuck in a ward in hospital until they can find a place for her which is not ideal ans the longer she stays in the more risk of a secondary infection. Has anybody been in this situation and can offer any advice? I'd be so massively grateful. Thank you so much x
Care home help
- Thread starter KazzaP
- Start date
Hi @KazzaP, I'm sure others that have been in a similar situation will be along shortly, but it might be a good idea to talk to the Support Line and talk through your options with them.
Phone them on 0333 150 3456 or email dementia.connect@alzheimers.org.uk.
Phone them on 0333 150 3456 or email dementia.connect@alzheimers.org.uk.
Hi @KazzaP
I honestly wouldnt try and fight this. You really do not want your mum in a place that cannot meet her needs. Yes, it will disorientate your mum for a while, but she will adjust and its better than getting her sent back only for there to be problems, or the care home giving you notice to find somewhere else and another move......
Contact the hospital SW and make sure they know about her needing a financial assessment. The hospital SW should be able to help you find somewhere.
xx
Im afraid this does happen. When mum was in hospital they had to contact her care home and ask if they were happy to have her back. There are quite a lot of care homes out there which cannot cope with the more advanced stages of dementia, or it might be that your mum now needs nursing care.
I honestly wouldnt try and fight this. You really do not want your mum in a place that cannot meet her needs. Yes, it will disorientate your mum for a while, but she will adjust and its better than getting her sent back only for there to be problems, or the care home giving you notice to find somewhere else and another move......
Contact the hospital SW and make sure they know about her needing a financial assessment. The hospital SW should be able to help you find somewhere.
xx
Thank you so much everyone for your responses. I spoke to the hospital social worker who explained everything brilliantly. I was basically in a panic and without having the full knowledge. It so easy to get lost in the moment. Mum is still waiting for a bed to become available - lets hope this is soon x
If your mum is about to hit the threshold get in touch with her Social Worker for a Care Needs Assessment. You'll need this for other Care Homes to see whether they can meet her needs. If she scores enough for a DST assessment too, then there may be NHS funding available towards her nursing care. I would start to look around for nursing homes whilst your Social Worker does their bit. The hospital will want to discharge her asap but won't make her homeless.
My mother-in-law had to be moved from a residential care home to a nursing home when the care home couldn’t cope (and kept sending her to hospital). It was the best change. She was much better cared for in the nursing home and so much happier.
My mother has just moved to nursing and it has given her a much better quality of life. She was bed bound in residential and is now sat in the main lounge with the other residents now she's in a nursing home.
Ah thank you @blueorchid and @update2020 your messages have given me a bit of hope that this can get better. As it stands Mum is STILL in hospital and still waiting for a bed. I can't speak to her and the nurses are too busy to update me properly. It's all a bit much. Sending hugs to you all x
Hi @blueorchid - thanks for asking. Have felt exactly that
I drove 300 miles to see her yesterday. She was supposed to be being moved that day but when I arrived she was still on the ward. The staff would not let me sit with her so I moved some of her belongings to the new place. Had a bit of a panic attack when I saw the room as it was dirty, in poor repair and a member of staff was smoking outside her open window. I didn't want to leave her there overnight. But I don't have any options. This is the only available local place after a two week search. So I highlighted my concerns to a member of staff. Went back yesterday and made her room a bit more homey. Got out photos and made her feel more comfortable. Not sure she knows who I am but I gave her a manicure and it felt nice for 20 minutes whilst I clipped and filed. She was peaceful and calm. I took her some sunflowers and she said they were "bloody awful yellow flowers". I suppose you have to laugh! About to phone up for a check in. Wish me luck! x
Sorry I didnt see your reply - I've been on holiday. Hope your mum is settling in ok since you last posted on the 18 Aug. Is this home going to be permanent?Hi @blueorchid - thanks for asking. Have felt exactly that
I drove 300 miles to see her yesterday. She was supposed to be being moved that day but when I arrived she was still on the ward. The staff would not let me sit with her so I moved some of her belongings to the new place. Had a bit of a panic attack when I saw the room as it was dirty, in poor repair and a member of staff was smoking outside her open window. I didn't want to leave her there overnight. But I don't have any options. This is the only available local place after a two week search. So I highlighted my concerns to a member of staff. Went back yesterday and made her room a bit more homey. Got out photos and made her feel more comfortable. Not sure she knows who I am but I gave her a manicure and it felt nice for 20 minutes whilst I clipped and filed. She was peaceful and calm. I took her some sunflowers and she said they were "bloody awful yellow flowers". I suppose you have to laugh! About to phone up for a check in. Wish me luck! x
Hello @blueorchid hope you had a lovely time away. Sorry I don't get on here much so only just seen your reply. This home will be permanent. The staff seem genuinely lovely and are regular faces. Am off up for another visit this weekend x
