He hasnt had a chance to settle - it took mum a good couple of months and she only moved the once (twice if you count the week in hospital). He has had so many moves in such a short time that Im not surprised that he is confused and unsettled.
Please give this a chance. If you take him home again you will undo all the work that has been done and you will be back to square one. Things that can help him settle are not visiting too long as he needs to learn the routine of the home and to watch your body language while you are there. Both mum and OH mirror(ed) my moods - if you are upset about the care home, he will be too. Try and staple a bright smile to your face and put on a bright isnt-this-all-lovely attitude. Get his room looking nice and enthuse about it, admire the pictures in the lounge, the curtains in the dining room, the view over whatever, tell him how lovely the carers are. If he starts on the "want to go home" loop decide that you need the loo. I never said goodbye to mum; I used to leave my bag and coat in the office so that I wouldnt be picking them up to go and when I left I would make some excuse of something I needed to do and tell her that I would be back soon (which was not a total lie). I would often visit in the morning when she was at her best and leave mid-day when her dinner arrived (Oh look mum, heres your dinner. I need to go and talk to the manager. I;ll see you soon) as this would distract her.
Get rid of the guilt monster.
