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Care Home funding

Discussion in 'Legal and financial issues' started by Platinum, Mar 27, 2019.

  1. Elle3

    Elle3 Registered User

    Jun 30, 2016
    618
    There is no saying he will settle anywhere, so please don’t try going backwards and bringing him back home, it will probably be no different and it will put you under enormous pressure and stress. It could also prove more difficult to get him back into care, you know how slow the process can be.

    I think Canary is right, when you visit a Care home, you not only have to consider the visible decor, but how friendly and caring the staff are and also how well the residents are cared for. Are they up and out of their rooms, are they well dressed and clean do they see content.

    The care home my dad was in was amazing, I got to know all the staff really well and the other residents, it was like one big family. My dad only ever slept in his room, it was really somewhere to just store his things. The rest of the time he could go wherever he wanted in the unit, I mostly found him in the dining room, where they had a radio on all the time and people came in and out but it rarely got too noisy or busy except at meal times. I thought my dad would never settle but he did but that’s because of the care he received and I could visit as often and whenever I liked as it was close by which helped me.

    Are there better rooms in the home? Perhaps your OH could move when one of those becomes available.

    ((Hugs)) Elle x

    Ps. I wanted to add that I never had Power of attorney for H&W and it was never an issue for me.
     
  2. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,578
    Female
    South coast
    He hasnt had a chance to settle - it took mum a good couple of months and she only moved the once (twice if you count the week in hospital). He has had so many moves in such a short time that Im not surprised that he is confused and unsettled.

    Please give this a chance. If you take him home again you will undo all the work that has been done and you will be back to square one. Things that can help him settle are not visiting too long as he needs to learn the routine of the home and to watch your body language while you are there. Both mum and OH mirror(ed) my moods - if you are upset about the care home, he will be too. Try and staple a bright smile to your face and put on a bright isnt-this-all-lovely attitude. Get his room looking nice and enthuse about it, admire the pictures in the lounge, the curtains in the dining room, the view over whatever, tell him how lovely the carers are. If he starts on the "want to go home" loop decide that you need the loo. I never said goodbye to mum; I used to leave my bag and coat in the office so that I wouldnt be picking them up to go and when I left I would make some excuse of something I needed to do and tell her that I would be back soon (which was not a total lie). I would often visit in the morning when she was at her best and leave mid-day when her dinner arrived (Oh look mum, heres your dinner. I need to go and talk to the manager. I;ll see you soon) as this would distract her.

    Get rid of the guilt monster.
     

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