Care home fees for respite is this normal
- Thread starter 1954
- Start date
Ah I see ... well, desperation isn't good either. Even if you don't say you're at breaking point maybe you still need to lay it on a bit thick!
It doesn't sound silly in the slightest! Dealing with anything unfamiliar isn't easy at all. I've found this as I've been dealing with all my mum and dads stuff ... social services .. care homes .. psychiatric services .. dads banks and building society .. solicitors .. Every time I have to make a phone call I'm filled with butterflies!
I was dead against involving SS with my parents but forced into it and i have to say i was quite wrong in my attitude. to me it felt as if SS was for people who were incapable of making decisions and that there was a shame attached to it. Quite wrong.
They don't come in and take over which is one of the things i feared.
We have now got regular respite and carers all provided for mum free of charge, and no one tells us we are doing anything badly or wrong, they don't judge.
you do need to learn the right vocabulary though but it is easy to pick up from this site, I mean they don't respond to "I'm finding it quite difficult" or "I had to clear up after her" - you need to present specific incidents that were really gut wrenchingly difficult or paint the picture of the exhausted person in desperate need of a break occasionally.
On this occasion though I think the idea that you pay for the respite is WRONG - get the funds from your mum's account along with anything else you need for her
oh dear how many times did i use "wrong" here
They don't come in and take over which is one of the things i feared.
We have now got regular respite and carers all provided for mum free of charge, and no one tells us we are doing anything badly or wrong, they don't judge.
you do need to learn the right vocabulary though but it is easy to pick up from this site, I mean they don't respond to "I'm finding it quite difficult" or "I had to clear up after her" - you need to present specific incidents that were really gut wrenchingly difficult or paint the picture of the exhausted person in desperate need of a break occasionally.
On this occasion though I think the idea that you pay for the respite is WRONG - get the funds from your mum's account along with anything else you need for her
oh dear how many times did i use "wrong" here
My very dreaded thing! I am nervous they will ask MIL if she can wash/cook etc etc and of course she will say yes and then will they try to get her back to her flat????
She can't possibly go back as she is absolutely incapable of looking after herself but puts on a wonderful 'show' of explaining how she can! The flat has been completely emptied and her rubbish has gone. No phone. No hot water. No washing machine etc etc
I've no idea - we never even saw one when my husband was at home!
Never saw anyone actually.
The SS only got involved via the hospital when they said he couldn't come home and had to go to a nursing home straight from hospital.
They won't. Your MIL is living with you which means you are looking after her and they don't have to worry about her.
There is no reason for your sister not to want to pay for the respite as it's for your mother, not her - and you are the ones looking after her anyway!
As far as I'm aware a CPN is only involved if an individual is treated by psychiatric services so I guess they'd be your first port of call. My mum had a CPN but only because she'd had a breakdown and needed treatment
Bill had a CPN when he was first diagnosed. I think it was because he became quite depressed after diagnosis. After a period of time the visits stopped.
My mum got a CPN when I indicated her behaviour was becoming quite aggressive during bouts of sundowning. Of course when the CPN visited mum was all sweetness and light and chatty! However it was as a result of the CPN involvement that mum was put on a low dose of Risperidone.
My mum got a CPN when I indicated her behaviour was becoming quite aggressive during bouts of sundowning. Of course when the CPN visited mum was all sweetness and light and chatty! However it was as a result of the CPN involvement that mum was put on a low dose of Risperidone.
I am not sure about the fee for Respite care, but the fees I pay for my husband's care in the CH is £203 per week, the fee is still based on emergency Respite until the Local Council changes it to Permanent Care which will then reduce, by how much I don't know yet. According to what I have read in other posts this is a very fair charge. We live in Perthshire, Scotland, and part of the fee is paid by the Council. We are getting off very lightly compared to others. George is thankfully, in a very nice CH with excellent care.
Have a nice few days away 1954 and well done to your SIL.
Love Margaret x
Have a nice few days away 1954 and well done to your SIL.
Love Margaret x
