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Care home - extra help?

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Maldives13, Feb 9, 2016.

  1. Maldives13

    Maldives13 Registered User

    Feb 4, 2014
    164
    Hi everyone. Been a while since I posted. Trying to get to grips with Mum going into a care home!! That is a whole separate subject so wanted to ask anyone who might know please?
    I'm going on holiday for 2 weeks. My 2 sisters visit as well as me but I visit for longer and more often. I have tea with Mum once a week and once a week she comes to dinner with my hubby and I. I go in 3 times a week for a long time and they each go in twice a week.
    They won't do any extra while I'm away so my question is can I ask the staff at the care home to perhaps take her out or something and offer to pay extra hours to them?
    I only ask because when I went away for a week in January, mum took to get bed and didn't want to get up,
    When mum was in her own home I used to pay people to go in more often if I was away and wondered if that could still be an idea?
    Any thoughts or suggestions gratefully received
    Many thanhs
     
  2. Quilty

    Quilty Registered User

    Aug 28, 2014
    1,056
    GLASGOW
    Is there a private caring agency that you can hire to take her out? I did this when I went on holiday. Mum was not exactly happy about it, but she did go out with them!

    My mum takes to her bed when I go away to. I stopped telling her in advance and primed the staff to make an excuse. Flu or a vomiting bug is a good excuse not to visit. Or a badly sprained ankle which stops you walking/driving.

    Its kinder in the long run, especially of other are visiting too. I am my mums only visitor other than a befriender from social services whole is an absolute angel.

    Bets of luck
    Quilty
     
  3. joggyb

    joggyb Registered User

    Dec 1, 2014
    119
    I get extra care for my dad from an external care agency 4 times a week, to make sure he gets some 1-2-1 attention. His care home has been absolutely fine about it - I think it makes their lives easier, to be honest!

    So perhaps there's an agency local to you who might be able to help? It's worth asking / doing a Google search. Perhaps your mum's care home might even know of a suitable agency? My dad's old care home did.
     
  4. Maldives13

    Maldives13 Registered User

    Feb 4, 2014
    164
    Thanks for that - really helpful. I will def look into the extra care from an outside agency once I have spoken to the home. Problem is Mum had always been the centre of our universe, not wanting or needing friends because she felt that's what family should do.
    Quilty - thanks for ideas. Mum is still pretty with it and if she thought I was that ill I wasn't able to visit she would be very fretful. She would want to ring or come and see me. We are very close and I know she would still rather have the truth as she would worry herself if I was ill.
    Think the different thing now is that when I went on holiday before one of my sisters would step in (I would compensate her if you see what I mean!) Appears she is not willing to do this now and Mum misses seeing her as much as she used to.
    Sorry it's garbled but thank you
     
  5. Maldives13

    Maldives13 Registered User

    Feb 4, 2014
    164
    Just wondered if anyone else has any experience of paying for extra care when Mum is in a care home?
    Thanks in advance
     
  6. Gina K

    Gina K Registered User

    #6 Gina K, Feb 10, 2016
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 10, 2016
    Care Home Activities

    Good afternoon! Care homes should offer support to your mum to participate in activities and to get out and about in the community. The care home should come out to meet you & your mum to complete a pre-assessment; you can tell them at that point what you want/what your mum needs etc.
    Hope this is helpful!
     
  7. Maldives13

    Maldives13 Registered User

    Feb 4, 2014
    164
    Hi Gina.
    Mum is already in a home and has been there for 9 months now. Just trying to find out what people do in similar circumstances to mine?
    Thanks though x
     
  8. Missy

    Missy Registered User

    Dec 18, 2006
    71
    We have used an outside agency for my father in law on occasion. He is a self funder so funds this himself. Seems to work OK.
     
  9. Maldives13

    Maldives13 Registered User

    Feb 4, 2014
    164
    Thanks Missy.
    I'm going to talk to the care home and see what they think. Thankfully I don't go until end of March but need to get something sorted so I can stop worrying!' Thanks again
     

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