Can people tell me how they have broached this subject when a partner or parent has dementia. My father in law cannot care for himself properly any more, so the sheltered accommodation he is is no longer appropriate - even though he has a morning care visit, a cleaner, someone doing laundry, a communal cooked lunch. His dementia is becoming more severe and there are particular issues over him being unable to clean himself appropriately after using the toilet. The bathroom and living room floor are getting soiled. (We don't know quite how.) He is in denial about the very regular 'accidents' which take place. And or he says they will never happen again We have found a care home near where we live - where a friend's mother was very well looked after. They have a place and would like us to take him for an informal cup of coffee type visit in a few days time. On Monday. (The next stage would be for him to spend part of the day there for a more in depth assessment of his needs.) My husband is really unsure how to broach this. Scenario 1. Husband: 'Would you like to go and visit a possible care home. Father in law: No. Scenario 2. Husband: Would you like to go and visit somewhere that you might go for a few weeks - a sort of holiday - where they can look after you? The warden and I think you're not quite so well at the moment, and it would really do you good. Father-in-law? No. Scenario 3 Husband: You're not able to cope any more and though your carer is mopping up your regular accidents, we're going to have you move you to a care home. We're visiting one today. Father in law: I'm not going. As luck would - or would not - have it, the warden of my father in law's sheltered accommodation is away till Monday, so we can't get a steer from her. The person in charge of the care home has made some suggestions as to how we might deal with this, but I wondered what other people had done. NB My husband has power of attorney.